Jewish Law

Birth Mother or Raising Mother

10.10.19

Question

Kavod haRav

When saying yizkor do I say for mother, birth mother even though she passed away when i was less than one year old, so not my MORATI, and raised by my paternal grandmother from age 10 months old and educated by her, thinking she was my mother....
so whom should i saay yizkor for first? i have been saying for both of them as "EM"

thank you for your time in replying. shana tova u metuka

 

Answer

To the Questioner,

It seems to me that you should say for your birth mother first, since although she did not raise you - so you had no obligation for Kibud Em while she was alive - you can still give her this respect even now after she has passed away. And the respect due to a true mother proceeds the respect for a grandmother.


Source: Rama. Yoreh Deyah 240:24. 

With blessings, 
Rav Nachum

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