Jewish Thought

How to fix the personality trait of an evil eye

18.05.15

Question

They always write about how careful one has to be from the evil eye, how to cancel its effect, and how to get away from it, but how does one fix it if one has it?? One who already has an evil eye, and harms people and scares them ... How can he get out of it?? Isn’t it something you can not control? One who has this — is there anything he can do?? Is there no turning back ??

Answer

There is nothing that can not be rectified.

"Tikkun", rectification, means: “Getting back to balance.”

What is the "evil eye"? When one person looks at another balefully, desiring that he should not have blessing.

This is not the natural state in which a person was born. Every person entering into this world was born cheerful and happy with his portion, and when he gets his fill of all his natural needs, he has no desire that others should get less — on the contrary, he wants everyone to feel good and satisfied with their needs just like him.

The “evil eye" develops in a person when he grows up and didn’t experience the fulfillment of all his natural needs. He begins to compete with humanity around him for these needs. After a while, he begins to see everything happening around the world as competition to him; And since everyone is competing with him, they are his enemies and foes, and all they want is to win in life by achieving the fulfillment of all their essential needs — for themselves, and at his account. And he feels that it would be better for them if he was not born at all, because then they would have one less person to contend with.

As an adult, he now feels exploited by all those around him, because he sees there are those who have achieved status and seem to be winning in the competition of life, and are getting their needs by money and influence. Even if another person’s success is only external — his natural reaction to that person is an ardent desire that he shouldn’t be successful. His feelings emanate from his jaundiced view of the successful person, and his powerful desire to reduce the man’s blessings.

If a person wants to change his envious attitude, he has to go back to his natural state that existed at the time of his birth. No person is born with an "evil eye", and it was only something that developed and stuck to him out of habit. So just as he trained himself for a long time to look at everyone with an evil eye until it stuck to him and now feels like part of him, he can train himself not to look with an evil eye. After a period of time, he will return to his original state and nature.

The way to do it according to our holy books, is to consistently make a small change in how one looks at people every day, and after forty days of such small continuous changes, something will change fundamentally in his behavior, until one completely returns to normal.

In practice, one who suffers from the evil eye, should take upon himself every day from now on (but don’t make a vow) at the first time that he remembers, that when he sees someone succeed in a particular field that he would like to succeed in, and he feels the negative feelings rising in him hoping that person will suffer damage and a downfall, then he should close his eyes for a moment and think to himself: “G-d, I also would like to have the satisfaction that this person has. I ask of you that in the merit of me looking at him favorably, and thinking, "I am happy that he has what he needs", in this merit please give me everything that I need, in every aspect of my life." Then open your eyes, and take a look at the other person and think about him, "I am pleased that you have so much, may you be blessed."

Do not do this more than once a day (unless the feeling comes natural to you); because, as we wrote above, if you do too much in this matter, you might feel broken, and then you won’t be able to continue the consistent work required to get out of it. So the rest of the day continue the responses just as you felt and reacted until now.

At first you will feel that this exercise is irksome and a difficult thing to do, and you will feel that it is almost impossible to do it. But one who pushes himself to continue it, after about a week and a half, will begin to feel it’s somewhat easier, and if he continues for forty days, it will get much easier to do.

And if he continues on with it, and as it gets easier, he should slowly increase the number of times that he does it every day, and try to connect more and more with his new, positive outlook instead of the negative one, and then without a doubt he will get out of his bad habit and will begin to live a more correct and positive life.

I bless you that Hashem should give you the strength to stand in this trial and do this important work. In the merit of every Jew looking at his fellow man with a good eye, may we all merit to get what we really need and may all our needs be fulfilled to satisfaction in a kosher and beneficial way.

 

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