General

Impediments

12.05.15

Question

In honour of the Rabbis' Shalom, I hope that this email finds you all in good health. I would like to take this opportunity to thank you in advance for providing this opportunity. It would be deeply appreciated if I could get spiritual advice regarding the solutions both spiritual and natural to remedy 'Causes for Delayed Marriages', I feel that in this case there are severe impediments blocking this area and other areas in my life. If at all possible would it be possible to be advised as to which 'Zohar' one should purchase to have in their home as I understand that having this is also a form of protection. I would also like to discuss who I could contact regarding the matter of changing name with a Learned Torah Scholar. I was deeply impressed with the article 'Causes for Delayed Marriages' by Rabbi Zamir Cohen Kind Regards Rachel Lewis I would like to take this opportunity to Thank the Almighty from the depth of my heart for providing me with my Hon.Parents, may this also be in merit and for the elevation of the soul of my Brother Darren Jonathan ben David whom inspires me every day to acts of lovingkindess may this be in his merit.

Answer

To the Questioner, 

Regarding purchase of the Zohar, it is credible to purchase from this company:

http://www.greenfieldjudaica.com/sefer-hazohar-hakadosh-hashalem-BK-SHZR.html

Regarding 'Causes for Delayed Marriages' - here are three tips that we hope will be helpful to you:
 
1. Do not actively wait daily for the match to come, because the Talmud says that when a person waits actively for something it pushes a way the result that he is waiting for (Berachot 32b).
 
Rather, try to find a job or project to get involved in, so  that it will not leave you much time to think about a match.
 
 2. From our experience, age is not such an issue; rather it depens upon the "youthfulness" and willingness to get married that one radiates to others, and not so much upon the actual age.
 
Don't give up; keep on believing that the right one will come in the right time.
 
3. When you go out on a date, don't give the impression of being under pressure for the match to work. Try to distract your mind from thinking about whether this is the right one for you, and rather concentrate on trying to give the person you are dating a pleasant experience - whether he is the one for you or not.  Only after the date is over, go back and weigh whether the pesrson's natural qualities and demeanor is for you, and if you see that it might be then try a second date. 
 
As with everything in life, continue to pray to Hashem that he helps you to come to the right place and that you merit the situation that is best for you.
 
With a blessing that May Hashem hear your prayers and see your good efforts ,
 
Rabbi Nachum

 

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