This letter is meant for those single men and women that are going through the trial and journey called ‘waiting for the right one’. I want to write of a really empowering gift that personally helped me and I believe it will help you too!
I’m waiting for Mr. Right with a very strong desire to establish a family I can call my very own; where I can make my spiritual ambitions happen: Creating a Torah home, a home to educate my children in Torah and respect for others, a house of holiness.
Dealing with pitying looks and the sincere and insensitive “G-d willing by you too soon”, the coping with being the last one left of my peers still single, coping with always needing to smile and project stability (especially when you don’t feel like it), and showing everyone that everything is okay even when the lump in your throat rises and the tears you don’t want anyone to see are about to escape, and coping with the date itself before it and after it are all really big challenges full of tension. You are all probably familiar with all these challenges if you’re also waiting for Mr. /Mrs. Right.
Now I can talk about the gift I mentioned before; the gift of faith. Dear brothers and sisters this is the greatest gift! If you can make it your own with G-d’s help, you will strike gold! You gain happiness in life, tranquility, calm, and most of all the ability to talk straight to G-d and feel Him watching over you which will make you feel elevated.
So how did I get to this gift?
First of all I didn’t get there, G-d brought me there, He lifted me to this place and I thank Him with all my heart. My efforts to this end weren’t so great; I wasn’t such a brave hero. I actually was the crying type that would get sad if the leaves blew the wrong way in the wind. G-d allowed me the merit of listening to lectures of Rabbi Yigal Cohen and I read his book (sorry both are in Hebrew but we have some articles in English which we’ll be adding to) and these were a catalyst to move forward. I became addicted to the sweetness of simple faith that calms the soul. I warmly recommend these lectures.
My path to faith began with my saying ‘it’s all for good, everything is from G-d and for my good. I missed a bus, it’s all for good, someone stung me with words loaded with barbs, it’s all good. A date backed out on me, it’s all for the best. I knew that G-d stood behind everything I went through so that’s how I was able to stay calm, through the small things and the big ones too. Obviously going through this process of growth had many ups and downs like when I met someone for 3 dates and I was sure he was the one, I’m getting married, and he wasn’t the one and we didn’t get married. I cried and inside me I said “this test is for your good. You don’t know what G-d has in mind, and this is for sure the best thing for you.” With repeating and reinforcing many thoughts of faith and trust in G-d both in my thoughts and verbalized I calmed down.
Rabbi Yigal Cohen instructs us to repeat verses of faith and trust in G-d as the verse says, “I believe as I speak” (Psalms 116, 10) and I decide to make a project out of it to strengthen my faith through repeating these verses.
I gathered verses of faith from the psalms that revive our souls. I actually made a drawing of these verses so I could see them before my eyes each morning. Every day I get up with renewed strength and review these verses and they get engraved in my mind in this manner with G-d’s kindness.
When trials come my way and they always do, the verses remind me that my Father in Heaven is looking after me and He wants the best for me and everything he does for me is the best thing for me. Every test I pass lifts me and strengthens my faith further.
Obviously there are obstacles along the way and the test of waiting with all the painful things that come with it is a difficult one. But Thank G-d with even a small success using the gift of faith and to live daily with the faith that everything is for the best then you can reach a basic level of pleasant peace and calm in your life.
I wish everyone success in acquiring this gift with G-d’s help of course. When the test of waiting passes and you indeed build your home of your dreams with your Mr. /Mrs. Right, the faith you acquired will continue to accompany you and help you pass future tests with G-d’s help. When I merit getting married I will remember this time that I overcame difficulties and acquired faith. Therefore the test of waiting became the gift of waiting which brought me the gift of faith.
To all fellow single men and women, may it be G-d’s will that we all merit really soon to establish Jewish homes with Torah and Mitzvoth and a connection to g-d the King of Kings and as we move forward to acquire the gift of faith.
Thank You G-d for giving me this gift that ties me to You with love!