Women & Judaism

Everything’s Coming Apart! What Do I Do Now?

“My life is falling apart before my very eyes… what do I do now…” the woman complained to me. When she was single she never dreamed life would be so complex and reality seems to be full of pitfalls and minefields. Her relationship with her husband is at a low and the financial situation is pretty unstable. The icing on the cake is her children are acting out and pushing all her and her husband’s buttons.

Indeed many start off life with great expectations and optimism looking forward to the happiness they always hoped for but find themselves bogged down with the ‘pleasantness’ of life some good and some not. There are no shortage of trials and tribulations whether from the family, finances or intimacy, not to mention the challenges of keeping a pure and holy Jewish home that’s supposed to be the dwelling place for the divine presence. 
But daily living seems to be an obstacle to bringing down that divine presence…

The tendency is to look around and see that others are doing just fine and it’s only them that are suffering. So allow me to burst that self-defeating myth. There’s not one home, not one that doesn’t deal with challenges and some can be amazingly daunting or complex, just you think they have an easy life.

We must internalize that we have the life that we created for ourselves but even before that we must realize that there is a life that G-d Himself plotted out for us allowing each one of us to come to our purpose and mission in this world. Do you think G-d made a mistake in who he chose for your spouse?

So instead of filling your head with doubt which is the realm of Amalek, wondering if you missed out on your true spouse or better work or other confusing maybes, you should think of ways to find the good in your current reality, the one G-d placed you in right now.

For this to happen you should write down in a diary every day all the gifts G-d gave you and all the positive things in your life, no negatives, ifs, ands or buts, just the good things that really exist in your reality. When you get accustomed to this and start seeing all the good in your life then the light of that good will intensify and as the Baal Shem Tov says: “A bit of light will banish a lot of darkness.”


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