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Good News: “The Bible Isn’t Just (for the) Religious, It’s For All of Us!”

The Ministry of Education is proud to announce their sweeping and dramatic changes in the way the Tanach (Bible and scriptures) are taught in government schools starting from the new school year.

On Wednesday night Channel 10 had the scoop. There’s going to be a dramatic change in this subject. Dr. Nili Vazana the head of the Bible subject in the government school system pointed out that the change is meant to fix the situation where high school students graduate ignorant of Tanach and hating it. So in order to make the subject more ‘attractive’ the Tanach won’t be studied in context of religion rather as a secular book that will contain stories, songs, politics and thoughts about the meaning of life. Dr. Vazana proudly states: “We have a new catchphrase; “the Bible is not religious, it’s for all of us!”

According to our wise doctor, high school students will not learn about King Solomon or the Prophet Elijah, nor will they learn about the kingdoms of Judah and Israel or about the conquering and division of the land according to G-d. All prophecies will be absent from the curriculum including prophecies about the end of days which is a cornerstone of Jewish belief and tradition.

Obviously the high school tests will need to be changed. These tests will not include Jewish history and stories from the Bible rather they’ll include philosophical concepts like the ‘righteous one who suffers’ and quotes from Job, Ecclesiastes and other classical quotes. King David’s laments and the battle of David and Goliath will be spared the censorship and will be included in the curriculum. There will also be elective questions such as analysis of chapter 1 of ‘Song of Songs’.

They should cut the topic out altogether and teach Aesop’s fables, at least they won’t make a mockery of the Bible that way!


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