Relationships

How come the Torah allows a man to marry several women?

י' אלול התשע"ה | 25.08.15 00:00

Question

I wanted to ask a question that has been bothering me for a long time and still bothers me even though I became religious a few years ago. How can the Holy Torah, which was given by the Creator who understands the hearts of all His creatures, allow a man to marry more than one wife? As a woman, it is completely incomprehensible to me. It doesn’t appear a step that any woman can make peace with. Some say that Rabeinu Gershom’s ban against marrying more than one wife was valid for only 1000 years and therefore now it is permitted. But besides that, we want to base our lives on Torah laws and not on laws passed by non-Jewish governments. How can I wish for this reality if this is the Torah law? The Torah is above time, and therefore the reality of marrying two women or more should be appropriate even in our times. I do not think that my feeling is unusual and I think a lot of women would feel like me. How is it that G-d allows such unbearable grief in His holy teachings? I would greatly appreciate hearing your reply. I ask only that someone well versed on the subject answer my question which is asked from the heart rather than as a complaint.

Response

The Torah’s permission to marry several women shows that there may be a person for whom several female souls belong to one male’s soul and derive its nourishment from him.

The original halachic permit is only with the full consent of the first wife, and subject to the power and ability of the man to provide for both of them and give them all their needs.

Marrying several women was extremely rare over the years because there are not many male souls that are connected to more than one wife.

In any event, the sages decreed not to marry two woman after seeing that it causes enormous difficulties. However, the Torah’s law is based on the truth and the truth of the creation is that two women can belong to one man.

I'd be happy to clarify more about this matter to you.

Sincerely,

Benjamin Shmueli

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