Search Results "Feelings"
Double ring ceremony
Question: I am B’ezrat Hashem going to get married in few weeks to a wonderful girl. We are both Baalei Teshuva and we will B’ezrat Hashem build a beautiful home. There is one issue, our parents insist that we do a double-ring ceremony. They told us is important for the bride to give the groom a ring as well since it shows he is also bound to her. They will be terribly upset if we don’t. I don’t want to cause problems and bad feelings, is there any problem if she gives me a ring afterward just to make them happy?
Is the Rebbe from Lubavitch the Moshiach?
I am a bachur from yeshivat Hesder who is now on a trip in Vietnam. I was just sitting in the Beit Chabad and after learning Gemara and Halacha from the Rav, I discussed with him whether the Lubavitcher Rebbe z”l is the Mashiach or not. The list of proofs in the affirmative is long, and I didn’t give the Rav an easy time… I was arguing with him, but in the end I feel I have received my answer. I will list the proofs in short, and then I would greatly appreciate to know what you have to say on this topic. 1. The Rebbe was a descendent of the Maharal from Prague, who was known as a descendent from David Hamelech. 2. The Rebbe learned Torah “like David his father”. The Rebbe’s father z”l was a Rav in the second largest city in Ukraine, who was also a Mekubal and also authored sforim with great Torah depth. 3. The Rebbe was at the forefront to begin the Tshuvah movement. 4. The Rebbe “fought the wars” of Completeness of Torah - by founding Batei Chabad throughout the world; encouraging the Chabad Yeshivot to publish new insights in Torah every number of months; by publishing the largest number of sforim ever by a single person which include great depth and cover all areas of Torah; Completeness of the Jewish nation – The Rebbe was the one who fought against the warped law of “Mi Yehudi”; Completeness of Eretz Yisrael - The Rebbe was the one who begged and warned not to give back even one “foot breath” of Eretz Yisrael. 5. The Rebbe himself strengthened the community when they sang for him “Yechi Adoneinu Moreinu V’Rabeinu Melech Hamoshiach L’olam Va’ed”. 6. When they came to the Baba Sali z”l and asked him whether the Rebbe from Lubavitch is the Moshiach, the Baba Sali stood up and said: “Nu, everything is fitting for him”. 7. The Rebbe called the Beit Knesset in his house at 770 – “Beit Moshiach”! Thank you for your time to answer this question.
Speaking to boys at the Workplace
Rabbi, I go with my father to work and help him at his business which is a bakery. There are boys who work there as well and I speak to them sometimes about things at business but not about anything else. Baruch Hashem I am careful about negiah and do not speak any words of affection... is this situation ok? My father comes in from time to time and the boys know that he's there and they are respectful. I would like to hear your advice. Thank you.
is it prohibited to listen (watch) non jewish songs? whats the reason? Is it prohibited to listen to non jewish kids songs?
Moving Quickly versus Slowly
Hi Rabbi Tatz! I am really loving your book Living Inspired. I just read the chapter on the importance of leaving Egypt quickly and with alacrity and it was so interesting as you never hear speed up. You hear advice to slow down, to savor moments and make your life seem longer, Fuller, richer. Perhaps this slowing down can sometimes increase kavana. How do we reconcile these 2 temporal choices we need to make every moment of every day? Thx!
Anorexia - covering up
Is there any way that lying is permissible when dealing with anorexia? It's coming from a place where if I'm honest with my nutritionist, she will talk to my mom and it'll cause her pain. I'd rather just lie and keep everyone happy. Any form of deceiving in such a situation is allowed?
Hi I'm an uncle (not by blood) to several kids, and I love them dearly and enjoy all the time I get to spend with them. A friend of mine (who's also an uncle, not by blood) to these kids, seems to be the favorite. It makes me feel jealous and I don't know why I feel this way or how to deal with this emotion. I know deep down these kids love me. It's just that sometimes I forget that or start to doubt it when I see them with the other uncle or if they prefer to spend time with him rather than me. Do you have any suggestions on how I can deal with this issue? Thanks.
Three women can bensh mezuman but ten women cannot absolve bircat hagomel said by another woman after eg childbirth. It needs an edah, ten men. I have never ever felt discriminated by any of our mitzvos or chukim and i really am looking for a good answer as i dont believe for a split second that a woman is inferior or discriminated against. A woman is different. I appreciate that. Hoping you can give me the correct answer
What is the meaning of animal sacrifices in Deuteronomy. Why reinstitute these instructions now, when the 3rd Temple is not yet built. It seems cruel and unnecessary in the modern age.
How Do We Relate to G-d after Witnessing Natural Disasters?
Shalom, Rav. I have an important question: Why is it that we see such atrocities happening in the world which seem to be very bad and cause a person to feel far from Hashem? I always hear that whatever Hashem does is for the good, but there seems to be so much suffering in the world, that it is difficult to accept the fact and feel secure that the Creator does everything for the good while at the same time you see such terrible things. Especially now that we see, even among Jewish communities, that everyone thinks Hashem will protect them and nothing will happen, and then in actuality you see that even they are affected by a natural disaster.
Meaning of Dreams
I received this question from a member of my community here in Argentina. I don't know what to answer this lengthy question. I would appreciate if you could advise me how to reply. -- Dvir Shalom, My father-in-law passed away this year on Rosh Chodesh Adar. Last Friday I had a dream about him. It was some time between six and seven in the morning. We didn't have a close connection; in fact we were not on speaking terms due to some marital problems we were having which have since been resolved, but we hadn't reconciled before his death. Afterwards, we did whatever we could l'ilui nishmato, for the sake of his soul in the next world. My dream was as follows: I am standing at the entrance to a school and I see my father-in-law on the inside of the wall sitting and listening very carefully to what I'm saying to a boy. The boy said something chutzpadik and I told him that we don't speak that way. Next I see myself entering a large room and my father-in-law is sitting at the head of the table as usual. On the right side of the table was another old table of theirs, oval and covered by a tablecloth. As I approached him, I saw that he looked good, if a little shorter than I remembered him, and and I rejoiced in seeing him looking so well. He was sitting calmly in a chair and he asked me to put a pile of letters into envelopes and to mail them for him to all different places. The envelopes were on the other side of the table. I looked at the clock in the dream and it was almost eight o'clock in the morning. We needed to go and do some errands but I said to myself that I could go another time. I looked at one of the letters that was alread in an envelope and it was addressed to the city hall. Suddenly I looked at all the letters; they were folded into quarters. I looked at one of them and I saw that it seemed to be addressed to a school. I opened it up and there was a drawing inside of a lit menorah. I think seven out of 8 were lit. Then my dream ended. What is the meaning of this dream? Thank you, Batya
question of a divorcee here in our community in philadelpia
i have guided a couple in family peace who have eventually unfortunately gotten divorced recently the woman has opened up to me, the wife of the rabbai in a very open and painful way and with her permission i am contacting you. i am baalat teshuva of 6 years outof which i have been in the midrasha for 4 years (college) i got married and got divorced 4 months after marriage after a problem was detected in my husband. this was the underlying problem i was having doubts on before our wedding.after our wedding i was a substitute for a woman who was out on maternity leave and i finished the job before pesach/passover. i have left the house which we lived in together and moved to a rented appartement in jerusalem. i am more in my parents house though, since i feel i need comfort and familiartity.the way which i have been living my life was a very logical existence. i have always used my mind over my emotions this is before my wedding in college and even more so after my wedding. in the realm of being a wife i have done only that which is correct and reight and never that which i wanted, this was also so in preparation to my wedding- untill it all blew up. i feel thisis the reason y i have ignored the problems prior to my weddng because i did not emotionaly connect to my problems. this also caused me to become further from Hashem. in college i felt i could not go down a level in my service to Hashem because all the girls so respected me and i felt like such a good person i didnt want to go down , however now i am trying to get myself back together and chill a bit. i wake up late without being stringent on the time one should say the shema. i do however pray twice a day like i always have . it is without soul though. it is not that i have had tremendous feelings which have dwindled down with time- only that from teh beggining i have felt it to be hard on me to pray but i didnt listen to my heart and i prayed the full prayer and now i am cutting down on it. on the other hand however i feel so strongly about Gd and i am very connected to Him and i very much defend Him in the face of others. i therefore dont understand y my heart is closed to prayer . my question is how do i proceed now? i have read here on the website of hidabroot that if someone were to ask me whom i like i am to answer Gd i felt a strong negativity to this something in me felt pushed down, and it is not that i am angry at Gd that i got divorced- on the contrary i am so thankful for now i have time to heal and become a better person. i feel angry at Gd that i cannot feel released and happy. i always feel like i am not doing good by Gd and that i am not doing enough to serve Him. many people feel bad about themself and then the y repent and they feel all good with themselves however i feel like there is always place for a better repentance. i am sorry that that the question is so lengthy i feel however that only to rav zamir i can listen since i am having a very hard time with listening to rabbanim now since i feel like they havent put enough care to my case before my wedding and have just said that i am a regular bride afraid of marriage and change. and many great rabbais dont listen to other great rabbais so the thing is a confusion for me. please let me know if rabbai could be of any assistance,
How can I accept my husband’s daughters?
I am writing on behalf of married friends who married six months ago after they were together two years. The husband has 13 year old and 6 year old daughters from his first wife, and his present wife is not very fond of the girls. I explained to her that they are just young girls and she has to overcome her feelings, but for some reason she finds it difficult. How can I explain this to her in a way that will penetrate her heart? She is a person with faith and a rabbi’s answer will definitely help. Thanks.
I'm 21 years old, and baruch Hashem (thank G-d) I also accepted a marriage proposal and I'm getting married (there is no date yet). My issue starts with the fact that I have a little problem in understanding why we should get married and have children, since our world is full of crises and bringing children to the world is a matter of a personal interest only, so that we can feel satisfaction and a sense of continuation. But we don't know what our life will be like in future, what our children's fate will be, and certainly we can't be with them all their lives to help them. I know that this is warped and incorrect thinking, and that's why I'm turning to you, so that you can change my thinking, because I have great doubts about this matter. In spite of my thinking, I have no doubt that I will fulfill it, since this is the Creator's commandment, and there is no commandment that is not good. Also, I keep hearing from people that are close to me that I shouldn't get married young, I should go on trips… Just to start involvement with payments, mortgage, it affects work, it means not enjoying life, and since there will be many crises, the best age to get married is 25, etc. G-d willing, the wedding will be in a year's time. Every time they knock down my motivation. I will appreciate getting advice, because I know this thinking is not good and not right.
The Practical Connection Between This World and The Next
Shalom Rabbi My sister passed away a month ago and I wanted to ask what the daily connection is between this world and the next. Does she see us? And does it even matter? And beyond the blessings and saying Kadish (the prayer for the deceased) how are we connected and how does that translate into reality? (It is very difficult for me to transfer these feelings into a question) How can I know if she is ok, or if she is G-d forbid, not?
Sexual identity problem
My 20 year old daughter told me that she had a sexual identity problem and she is attracted to girls and has "friend-spouses.“ Of course I was in total shock, considering she graduated from a religious high school and thinks of herself as a religious girl. I tried to tell her that this is a very serious prohibition, but she claims that the prohibition is only between males and not females. I tried to talk her out of it and she tells me that it is not her choice, that’s just the way she is. What am I to do? I'm at a loss and feel very stressed about it. How can I help her?
Religious kindergarten education
I know that in many religious kindergartens, they teach the children to keep the commandments, give charity, respect adults, do good deeds, etc. (It’s a pity it is not done in all kindergartens.) This is an important thing but there is one thing I encountered which bothered me. A religious child of about 4 approached a person who he knows is not religious (he is traditional, and does not wear a kippa) and told him, 'You are a goy [non-Jew]' since he saw that he wasn’t wearing a kippa. Can it be that they are teaching in kindergartens that secular Jews are un-Jewish or is this a specific case in a particular kindergarten? There are many secular Jews who are charitable, have a good heart and keep many commandments applying to their fellow man, like showing concern for others, etc. Can it be that a kindergarten teacher taught children that secular Jews are gentiles?? After all, the most basic thing in the Torah is respecting others and avoiding offending others’ feelings. Thank you very much.
Relationships - Anger and Jealousy
Shalom to you Rabbi! I am a kallah teacher here in London and recently a young woman was discussing the subject of jealousy with me. A week ago she sent me a written list of questions and an explanation of her problem and here it is: “I can’t control myself. I have heard many lectures on the topic but I still can’t shake the jealousy. I do not enjoy the feeling of being jealous and I never experienced this before in my life…and why am I actually jealous? Until a few months ago over the past 5 years I was in touch with a guy, he loved me very much and of course I loved him also. He even wanted us to get married but he knew that his parents would not agree because we are relatives. We both knew that our relationship would have to end eventually. Baruch Hashem a few months ago he found a good shidduch and got married. When I see him I am angry and I can hardly speak to him and would prefer not to see him…and of course I am jealous of his wife. I am normally the type that loves everyone and lives in peace and when I get in a fight with someone it really bothers me. I really want to overcome this anger and jealousy and truly be happy for him but how can I? What am I supposed to tell her and how? Respectfully, Talia Bar
May a child be cross with his parents?
My second son is almost 23 years old, married with no children. He is chareidi and we are more liberal. He became more religious and is now a very religious Litvak. It has been almost a month that he isn’t talking to us, he and his wife completely broke off contact. He is angry with us for various reasons, but it is not related to our observance. On the contrary, we have great respect for him and help him out. Now that it’s before Yom Kippur, I’m wondering, as his mother, do I have to ask for his forgiveness? I forgave him in advance for his childish and problematic behavior, and I am not making a big deal of it, I want to believe that hopefully things will work out in the future, and I do not want to hold any bad feelings and complaints against him in my heart. I forgive him wholeheartedly. Do I still need to ask him for forgiveness? I believe with all my heart that I didn’t do anything bad to him, and that his reaction is very wrong. I would appreciate your quick reply.
I am seeking advice on how to mediate a conflict between a father and son in my synagogue in Seagate. Here is the son’s question: We are three brothers, and I am the middle child, age 29, married for three years. My dear parents decided to help me and my brothers buy homes for ourselves. They have worked hard all their lives, saving penny after penny. They divided up the money as such: I got married first and I received 480,000 shekels, a respectable amount to be sure, and for which I am very grateful. I should mention that my wife’s parents also gave us 420,000 shekels. Soon after, my younger brother who learns in kollel and who got married after me was given 1,200,000 shekels, and his wife’s parents are not helping out at all. The shidduch was made with the condition that my parents would give 600,000 shekels, and they have actually received double that amount. Recently my parents offered my older brother who is not yet married half a million shekels, and when he actually marries they will probably give him more. I very much appreciate the help my parents are giving me, and I don’t take it for granted. I should mention that my parents are not wealthy people. My question is if the distribution of the money is fair. Am I just supposed to accept the fact that my brother received three times more money that I did (even my older brother was surprised at this). We understand that he is learning in kollel and doesn’t earn much, and we have only admiration for the Torah world and those who learn. This situation has caused a lot of tension between us brothers. My parents claim that the apartment they bought for my brother was a once-in-a-lifetime deal that they could not pass up. I disagree – my brother and his wife could have started off with a smaller apartment. What should I do?