Living Faster Than Ever: The Relationship Left Behind

We live in a world of abundance and progress unlike anything seen before. When we compare our generation to the one before it, or even two generations back, it feels as though a vast gap separates us, almost as if ten generations stand in between.

And here lies the great paradox, one we have already grown accustomed to. This abundance and technological advancement have not brought greater happiness. For many people, they have brought the opposite.

The One Thing That Truly Changed

The most striking difference between past generations and ours is not comfort or resources, but time.

Earlier generations were shaped by rest, patience, and a certain inner calm. This was true even though their external hardships were often far greater than ours. Our generation, by contrast, lives under constant pressure. We are racing against the clock, trying to do more, achieve more, and keep up with everything.

We walk through life with a persistent feeling that there is never enough time.

People spend their days running from one responsibility to the next. Earning a living. Maintaining health. Raising children. Developing themselves. And in the midst of all this movement, one crucial thing is often forgotten.

The engine for success in every area of life is peace at home.

What Happens When Home Is Not a Place to Return To

When all is said and done, nothing we pursue, money, career, friendships, hobbies, can compensate for a home we do not want to return to.

The irony is that despite its central importance, we push our relationship to the bottom of the priority list. When I ask couples whether they invest in their relationship, I often hear the same answer.

“Who has time?”

This response is common, and it reveals something painful. We rarely stop to ask ourselves the most important questions.

Does my relationship give me strength, or does it drain me?
Does my connection with my partner nourish my life, or exhaust it?

“To Walk in Them”

In the Torah portion, it is written: “You shall observe My ordinances and My laws to walk in them; I am Hashem” (Leviticus 18:4).

What does it mean to “walk in them”?

The holy Ohr Hachaim explains that a person must live in a state of ongoing movement in goodness and growth. One should never feel that they have done enough, but rather continue striving forward, step by step.

Applied to marriage, this teaching carries a powerful message.

Peace at home is not something we reach once and then keep forever. It requires continuous action.

Why Relationships Do Not Sustain Themselves

A partnership does not strengthen itself automatically. On the contrary, time and routine can slowly weaken even good relationships if they are not actively nurtured.

Of course, life demands attention in many directions. But assuming that the relationship will simply be “fine” on its own is a mistake.

In the deep bond between husband and wife lies enormous power. Spiritual power, as our sages teach in the Mishnah: “Hashem found no vessel that holds blessing for Israel except peace” (Oktzin 3:12).

And alongside this spiritual influence stands practical reality. A peaceful home affects the education of children, emotional stability, and the ability to succeed in every area of life.

Never “Arrived”

Marriage is not a destination we reach and then rest. It is a path we continue to walk.

We must constantly aim toward peace at home, think deliberately about how to strengthen the relationship, and act with awareness that routine and the pace of life make this work challenging.

When we adopt this mindset, and live in the spirit of “walking in them,” we can, with God’s help, reach a place that is both calm and deeply fulfilling.

A home that gives strength.
A partnership that grows.
A life that feels whole.