The Status and Rights of Women in the Bible

Greetings and blessings, 

The questions are misguided and seem to originate from inflammatory websites you have seen against Judaism. 

1. A woman is not property that can be purchased. First and foremost, a woman decides whether to marry and whom to marry. Property does not decide to whom it is "bought." Thus, not only is the woman not presented as an object purchased against her will, but she is master over her body and life. The Torah teaches that a father cannot decide the marriage of his daughter. Granting a woman rights over her life was unprecedented in human history; in all other cultures, fathers sold their daughters for payment. The Torah was a pioneer in this moral approach, seeing a woman as master of her body and desires. The Rambam ruled some 800 years ago from the Torah (Laws of Marriage, Chapter 14, Halacha 10): "If she said, 'I despise him and cannot be with him according to my conscience,' he is coerced to send her away for the time being, because she is not a captive to be forced upon one she hates." We see that according to the Torah, the woman is master of her body and is not a captive or servant to her husband. The Talmud also presents a rabbinic decree forbidding a father to betroth his daughter against her will (Kiddushin 41a): "As Rabbi Yehuda said in the name of Rav, and some say Rabbi Elazar: It is forbidden for a person to betroth his daughter while she is a minor, until she grows and says, ‘I desire so-and-so.’" Judaism's approach over generations, presented thousands of years ago, grants a woman rights over her body and life, and the choice of her husband. 

2. "To provide food, clothing, and conjugal relations" are only the grounds upon which a woman may seek divorce if her husband fails these duties, but beyond these, there are many obligations a husband has toward his wife. Our Sages have said (Yevamot 62): "He should love her as his own body and honor her more than himself," a ruling codified in the Shulchan Aruch. A man is commanded to love, honor, and care for his wife. Every man is obligated to support his family, providing for his wife and children housing, sustenance, and clothing, while the wife is not obligated to support the household financially. Any man who divorces his wife must pay her ketubah according to Jewish law, while the wife has no monetary obligations to her husband. These laws demonstrate great consideration for women. Do Muslims or Christians obligate husbands to "provide food, clothing, and conjugal relations" to their wives? "Conjugal relations" means the man is commanded to make his wife happy in private, and if he does not, that is grounds for divorce. 

3. It has been over two thousand years that it has not been common for a man to marry several women, and since the Cherem (ban) of Rabbeinu Gershom, this principle has become halachic law in all Jewish communities in Israel and the Diaspora. The Torah explicitly writes that the correct and natural state is for a man to marry only one woman, as stated already in Genesis: "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." Judaism views man and woman as two complementary parts, a couple perfect in their unity, without the need for additional partners. All Jewish patriarchs chose one woman to complete them: Abraham married Sarah, Isaac married Rebecca, and Jacob chose Rachel (and only due to Laban's deception also Leah). This is the Jewish ideal through the generations, and nowhere in the Talmud do we find a different practice. The sages throughout the ages married one woman and condemned the situation of women sharing the same husband, calling them "troubles to one another." What was customary during the Torah period (about three thousand years ago) to marry several women was a rare phenomenon among the people of Israel, a time when settling the land and the people’s psychological capacity made this possible without disadvantaging women. Some explain that Jews during the Torah era were different from people today (not only culturally), thus capable of marrying multiple women while caring for each without neglect. The women also were mentally prepared, with strong and brave souls, for such marriages. This stands in contrast to today’s shallow generation, where marriages to multiple wives will always lead to preference for one wife over another (in addition to the cynical fact that many men marry a second wife without divorcing the first to avoid paying alimony and ketubah). According to ethical scholars, one cannot compare earlier generations to ours because the ancestors were far more scrupulous in observance (for example, Sarah, wife of Abraham, was so modest she would not leave the tent, which halacha does not require of women today). Therefore, one may not question laws and leniencies that existed in ancient times, as they were fundamentally different from ours. Kabbalists also explain that earlier generations’ souls were divided into more than two parts (the man and woman complementary halves), so one man needed to marry several women to complete the missing parts of his soul. In any case, it must be stated clearly that according to the Torah and the tradition of the sages, it is forbidden for a man of our generation to marry more than one woman. This is the Torah ideal of the divine plan, the patriarchs of Israel, and the sages' tradition throughout the generations. 

4. This is a gross distortion of the Rambam. Don't forget that this is the same Rambam who wrote (Laws of Marriage, Chapter 14, Halacha 10): "If she said, ‘I despise him and cannot be with him according to my conscience’ — he is coerced to send her away temporarily, because she is not a captive to be forced upon one she hates." This is also the same Rambam who wrote (Laws of Marriage, Chapter 15, Halacha 17-20): "Every man is obligated to purchase for his wife... and the sages also commanded that a man honor his wife more than himself and love her as himself." Whoever studies halacha from its roots with commentaries will immediately understand that the Rambam did not speak of a husband beating his wife — a practice explicitly forbidden in the laws cited — but of court-administered punishment (pay attention to the exact wording in this halacha: "she is coerced and punished," not "her husband coerces and punishes her"), and not only that — the man is also punished by lashes by the court if he does not fulfill his obligations toward his wife. In other words, there is equal halachic duty and penal equality between the sexes according to the Rambam. For example, a man who refused to divorce his wife was punished with lashes by the court until he agreed to grant the divorce. However, all other sages disagreed with the Rambam on this halacha and did not accept it as law in Israel. This is because while punishing a man by lashes by the court was accepted, it was never customary to punish a woman with lashes due to her delicacy. Therefore, other Torah scholars wondered about this unprecedented halacha, not knowing its source. Even the Raavad wrote there regarding the Rambam's words: "I have never heard of lashes administered to women; rather, the husband reduces her needs and sustenance." (Meaning the husband treats his wife measure for measure for her lack of participation in the household duties. If she does not fulfill her duties, he does not keep his duties of financial support.) Here, those who incite have tried to portray the Raavad's words as if he suggested imprisoning the wife and starving her. In reality, the Raavad spoke of a common halacha that each husband must provide sustenance to his wife; therefore, if she rebels he is not obligated to continue to provide until she returns to fulfill her duty. Similarly, halacha obliges disobedient husbands who fail their duties toward their wives in "food, clothing, and conjugal relations" to pay full ketubah and, if unwilling, be lashed by the court. But as written by the sages of Israel, they never struck the woman. 

5. It is equal. In the act of adultery, both the woman who committed adultery and the man doer of adultery are subject to death. 

6. The money does not belong to your husband if you do not want it to. According to halacha, if a woman waives the husband's obligation to support her, she keeps her wealth. She is the one who chooses whether to divide equally or not with her husband. 

Summary:

Unlike other cultures, the Bible always treated women as human beings; therefore, there were prophetesses in Israel, and on the festival of Purim, we celebrate the miraculous salvation by Queen Esther. Chazal said that thanks to the righteousness of the daughters of Israel, the Jewish people were redeemed from Egypt and will be redeemed again in the End of Days! Judaism tells us of prophetesses and righteous women like Sarah our matriarch, Deborah the prophetess, Queen Esther, and more. It is the only religion that considers a woman's consent to marry (a woman betroths only according to her will, not against her will, as was customary in other cultures), the only religion that instituted the ketubah for a woman (as known, a divorced woman owes her husband nothing, but a divorcing man owes his wife a ketubah), the only religion that demands laws from the man regarding his wife — to provide her with housing, clothing, sustenance, and even jewelry, the only religion that demands a husband to honor and respect his wife. Thus, in a proper Jewish home, a husband never raises his voice or speaks rudely to his wife but treats her like a queen. The story is told of Rabbi Aryeh Levin who once went to a doctor with his wife and said, "Doctor, my wife's leg hurts - ours." Instead of focusing on lies and distortions of sources, I suggest you visit Charedi families and see with your own eyes the loving and respectful relationship between husband and wife in a Jewish home. 

Blessings, Daniel Bales