עברית
Halachot and Customs
May I watch a movie with my wife during the thirty days or the year of mourning for my mother?
Question
Hello, unfortunately my mother passed away on the 1st of Nissan this year, just over a week ago, and I would like to ask if I may watch a movie with my wife during the thirty days or the year of mourning? Additionally, I would like to know if during Chol Hamoed of Pesach I may go out a bit with my wife and children to the zoo and on family outings? Furthermore, I would like to know what I should do regarding my sister-in-law's wedding, which will be held, b’ezrat Hashem, in the month of Elul while I am still in mourning. Is there a difference between the chuppah, the reception itself, and the Shabbat Chatan?
Answer
To the honorable questioner, apologies for the delay in answering. It is forbidden for a mourner for a parent to listen to musical instruments for the duration of twelve months. Therefore, you may not watch a movie that contains music, and if you happen to hear the sound of musical instruments unintentionally, you should make the intention not to enjoy the music. Regarding outings, I have not seen a prohibition concerning trips; however, I found it brought down that the custom is to refrain from going on outings during the thirty days of mourning, as explained in the book Yosef Ometz, page 330, which brings several proofs on this matter. Concerning the wedding of a relative, it is forbidden for a mourner to participate in the celebratory meal together with the other invited guests. However, it is permitted for the mourner to be present at the joyous event if the mourner serves throughout by assisting with the food service and eats separately outside with the waitstaff, not together with the other guests. One is allowed to be present at the chuppah, and it is advisable to have the intention not to derive enjoyment from the joyous music should one hear it. It is also forbidden to dance at the wedding. As for the Shabbat Chatan of your sister-in-law, it is hard to give a ruling without knowing further details. The general principle is that if you are very close with her, and your absence from the Shabbat Chatan meals would be noticeably significant to the other guests, then you should participate in the meals so as not to give the appearance of mourning publicly on Shabbat. However, if your absence would not be noticed by the other guests, then alternative arrangements should be made, and you should not participate in those festive meals, as a mourner is forbidden to partake in any joyous meal for the entire twelve months. May it be Hashem's will that He comforts you among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem, and that you merit to see consolation. Rav Nachum
