Halachot and Customs
Is It Permissible for a Woman to Be in a Romantic Relationship with Another Woman?
Halacha on Female Same-Sex Relationships
Question
Honored rabbi,
If I have a romantic attraction to a woman, is it permitted for me to be with her?
If it is forbidden, is the feeling of love itself also a transgression? And does becoming close or hugging count as a transgression?
If everything I mentioned here is forbidden, I would be grateful to know what the punishment is for this.
Thank you very much.
I hope you will answer soon.
Answer
A good day to you,
1. This is forbidden, and the source is what is written in the book of Leviticus (chapter 18, verse 3): "You shall not do after the manner of the land of Egypt, in which you dwelt," and as the Rambam wrote (Laws of Forbidden Intercourse, chapter 21, halacha 8), women who rub against one another are forbidden, and this is part of the practice of the land of Egypt concerning which we were warned, as it is said: You shall not do after the manner of the land of Egypt. The Sages said: What were they doing? A man marries a man, and a woman marries a woman, and a woman is married to two men.
And so it is in Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer (siman 20, seif 2): Women who rub against one another (meaning, who play and rub against each other) are forbidden, and this is part of the practice of the land of Egypt concerning which we were warned.
2. A woman, too, must be careful about impure thoughts, and about any closeness that involves impure intent.
3. The punishment is like that of one who violates a Torah prohibition (see Otzar HaPoskim there, note 15).
With great success,
Hillel Meirs
