A Dream Involving the Name of Hashem

Hello, Rabbi. 

I had a very strange dream. I was in a house that felt like a home, but it was not part of my actual life. I was holding my baby brother, who was born to me six months ago. Then family members from my father’s side came to that house. The relationships with them are complicated for my mother and me, and in the dream it was only my mother and me, and them. My aunt, my father’s sister; my grandmother; my aunt, who is the wife of my father’s older brother; and my cousin, the son of my father’s older brother. Once he was someone important to me, like a brother; we got along well in childhood. Today he and I are very distant. His sister came, and two of my female cousins, who are the daughters of the first aunt. In the dream they came to us. I was with my little brother in my arms, and my cousin tried to get close to me, but I rejected his closeness and kept my distance from him; I felt unsafe near him. I felt that I was smiling a fake smile, like my grandmother smiles at me. And in the dream he only kept trying to get closer to me. He looked at me with different eyes, not like before, as a brother. And that repelled and frightened me. I felt my skirt lifting from time to time, but I tried to adjust it so nothing would be seen. He only followed after me. In my dream I sat beside my mother and my aunt, my father’s sister. They were having some kind of conversation, but it was not a pleasant conversation; there was tension in the air. Then my mother asked me to help her. I went with her to that unfamiliar room. She told me that she did not want to sit with them; my father is not around right now, and she does not like their closeness. I also do not like it. My mother left the room. I was about to leave as well, and then I saw him, my cousin, standing there. I asked what he was doing there. He just smiled at me and again tried to speak with me. I moved away from him. And somehow it happened that I went out with my female cousins. We went out into the street. I found myself on a dark street and saw someone jumping from a window onto the roof of a house below the window and coming down. I recognized her. I called her by name and asked if it was her, and she answered yes and kissed one of my female cousins on the cheek. This girl studied with me in high school in the same grade. We moved away from the neighborhood, and then my girls began mocking a disabled person. I got angry with them and said that it is not nice to do things like that. Then I went with them into some shopping center. I was near the cosmetics department with them, examining it. Then a fight was heard with someone who cursed an elderly man. That upset me. I ran to the entrance and stood in front of that person. I tried to stop the quarrel. I saw elderly disabled women before my eyes. I told the person in front of me that he has no right to judge people or curse them. The more I tried to speak, the more I felt the air leaving me. I tried to say something as though someone had stuffed my mouth. This is not the first time this has happened to me in dreams. I struggled against it and said with difficulty that such is life; life makes a person into something, and one is not allowed to judge him. I tried to say more, but my words were cut off in the middle. I saw myself in bed in my room, familiar in the real house, and I saw something written on the ceiling, and the Name of Hashem as it is written in the Torah in its full form. My window was open in the dream, and a string of bells burst into my room twice, and they were in the shape of an eye. The sun was shining. I saw the net open. I woke up confused and somewhat frightened. Rabbi, what is the meaning of the dream? It does not leave me in peace.