Shabbat or a Relationship?

Hello and blessings 

You must not give up the precious and holy mitzvah of Shabbat for a life with a partner. The greatness of Shabbat is exceedingly sublime, and it is called the partner of the entire Jewish people, as explained in the words of our Sages: Rabbi Shimon ben Yochai taught: Shabbat said before Hashem, Master of the Universe, all the days of the week have a partner, meaning the six weekdays are paired, and I have no partner. Hashem said to it: The congregation of Israel is your partner. And when Israel stood before Mount Sinai, Hashem said to them, Remember the matter that I said to Shabbat, The congregation of Israel is your partner; this is the meaning of the verse, Remember the day of Shabbat, to sanctify it. Certainly one must not cast aside our eternal partner - Shabbat - for a partner who is unwilling that you keep Shabbat. It is true that the Creator joined you together, but not so that you should Heaven forbid give up Shabbat, which is the foundation of Judaism and the root of faith, and the bond between us and our Creator. Perhaps the bond between you was meant in order to try to illuminate your partner's heart so that he too will awaken to Shabbat observance. Perhaps this is a test in which the Master of the world is trying you, to see how willing you are to give your life for your faith. If you stand firm in the test, you will certainly merit great light, great salvation, and an appropriate and true match, as destined for you from the root of your soul - a God-fearing man who keeps Shabbat, with whom you can build your home on the foundations of Judaism, according to the will of the Creator. Therefore, gird yourself like a hero and tell your friend that regarding Shabbat you will not give in in any way or under any circumstances, and the choice is his to decide whether he wants you or not. It is highly recommended to try to persuade him to come to a Jewish Shabbat retreat, so that he can understand the reason you are giving your life for Shabbat, and even if he does not have the strength to accept Shabbat upon himself, at least he will allow you to observe the mitzvot properly. To conclude, I will quote to you the words of the Chafetz Chaim regarding the greatness of Shabbat, in order to strengthen you in the correct decision: It is written in the Torah, Remember the day of Shabbat, to sanctify it; six days you shall labor, etc., for in six days Hashem made the heavens and the earth, etc. In this verse Hashem taught us that the matter of Shabbat is the root of faith, to know that the world is renewed and created, and did not come into being by itself. And since Hashem created everything, He is the Master over everything, and we are His servants and are obligated to do His will and serve Him with all our bodies and souls and our wealth, for everything is His. The Torah warned about keeping Shabbat twelve times, and our Sages said: Whoever keeps Shabbat is as though he fulfilled the entire Torah, and whoever desecrates Shabbat is as though he denied the entire Torah altogether, and all of this is because Shabbat is the root of faith. Similarly, it is also written in the Midrash: Rabbi Elazar bar Avina said: Hashem said to Israel, If you merit to keep Shabbat, I consider it as though you kept all the commandments in the Torah; and if you desecrate it, I consider it as though you desecrated all the commandments. And so it says, One who keeps Shabbat from desecration, and guards his hand from doing any evil, etc., meaning that the opposite of keeping Shabbat is doing all evil. And see the severity of the sin involved in the prohibition of desecrating Shabbat, for it is known that there are several levels of punishment for sins: there are matters for which when a person transgresses, it is only a positive-commandment violation; more severe than that are sins carrying a prohibition; more severe than that are sins carrying death at the hand of Heaven; more severe than that are sins carrying karet; more severe than that are those carrying death at the hand of man, which is death by strangulation; above that are those whose punishment is execution by the sword; above that are those whose death is by fire; and above all are those whose death is by stoning, for that is the most severe of the deaths. And for the willful desecration of Shabbat, the death penalty is stoning. Also, the punishment of one who desecrates Shabbat is stoning, like an idolater, and when there is no warning, at the very least it is karet. From all of this a person can see the enormity of Shabbat. There are also many other statements of our Sages that greatly emphasize the sin of Shabbat desecration. And this is the language of the Rambam, in chapter 30 of the laws of Shabbat: Shabbat and idol worship, each of them, is equal to all the other commandments of the Torah, and Shabbat is the sign between Hashem and us forever. Therefore, one who transgresses the other commandments is included among the wicked of Israel, but one who publicly desecrates Shabbat is like one who worships idol worship, and both are like idolaters in all respects, etc. One must also know that the 248 positive commandments in the Torah that Hashem placed upon a person to remember and observe correspond to the 248 limbs of the human body. Just as there are different limbs, some of which the soul is not dependent on, such as the hand and the foot and the like, which even if they are missing, although the loss is very great indeed, one is still called merely a person with a blemish; and there are limbs such that because of their absence a person cannot live on the face of the earth, such as one whose head has been severed or whose heart, the source of life, has been torn open. So too with the commandments, concerning which it is written, which a person shall do and live by them, and it is said, for it is your life and the length of your days, and many similar verses, teaching us that the essential life of the soul in the World to Come depends on fulfillment of the Torah. There are commandments that even if a person was negligent and transgressed them, he is called in the World to Come only a person with a blemish; and this too is a great disgrace forever, as is known from what the Rachav wrote in Shaar HaKedushah, that the wound will remain forever in his soul in that limb in which he sinned against the will of Hashem. Thus, if one did not put tefillin, even if the person fulfills all the mitzvot, he will be a person with a blemish in his left hand. And when he rises at the resurrection, all Israel will stand alive and whole in all their limbs, while he will remain eternally blemished in this left hand, for only through the merit of the Torah commandments that a person fulfills with his limbs do they merit eternal life in the future. Every commandment among the 248 commandments gives life to the corresponding limb among the 248, as we say, and eternal life He planted within us. Since he brazenly transgressed that commandment, he has no one to give life to that limb, and how greatly that person will later bitterly regret this, when everyone knows the extent of his rebellion against Hashem in the mitzvah of tefillin. Likewise, if he is a person with a blemish in other limbs because of other things he damaged, as it is written in the Targum on Kohelet on the verse, The end of the matter, everything having been heard - meaning that in the end everything will become known before all; therefore, Fear Hashem and keep His commandments, for this is the whole of man - meaning that from the 248 positive commandments and 365 negative commandments by which a person is guarded during the days of his life, the whole person will be built in the future. Thus, when he rises and is a person with a blemish in some limb or some sinew among his sinews is damaged, corresponding to the 365 prohibitions in the Torah, everyone will realize which positive commandment or prohibition he transgressed brazenly, and how much disgrace and humiliation he will endure because of this forever. And there are matters that correspond to the head and the heart, which are the main life of the holy soul, such as faith in Hashem and in His Torah, and the matter of Shabbat observance, which is also a foundation of faith. If he lacks those matters, the entire essential life has already been removed from his holy soul, and while he lives in this world, he lives only with his animal soul, and he will have nothing with which to stand at the resurrection. The merit of Shabbat observance according to halacha helps atone for all his sins, as stated in the Gemara: Whoever keeps Shabbat according to its law, even if he sinned like the generation of Enosh, is forgiven, as it says, Happy is the man who does this, and the son of man who holds fast to it, one who keeps Shabbat from desecration, and guards his hand from doing any evil; do not read from desecration but rather forgiven. Therefore I have copied the words of the aforementioned rabbi. Be strong and courageous - Binyamin Shmueli