Navigating Prayer: Tips for Those with ADHD

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) affects many aspects of life, including religious practices like prayer. This article explores how ADHD impacts prayer and offers practical strategies for both adults and children.

How Does ADHD Affect Prayer?
Effective prayer requires organization, adherence to scheduled times, finding peace of mind, concentration, following the leader, and remaining seated for an extended period. Repetition of the same words and expressing oneself through traditional texts can feel impersonal and tedious. For individuals with ADHD, these challenges are magnified, making prayer particularly difficult.

Why Isn't Medication Enough?
Managing ADHD involves both physical and emotional strategies. While medication addresses physical symptoms, this article focuses on emotional approaches, particularly how to turn ADHD challenges into part of the solution by fostering a positive engagement with prayer.

The Emotional Dimension
Prayer has both a structured external aspect, including fixed texts, times, and places, and an internal aspect, involving faith, spirituality, and a communal sense. Focusing solely on structure can feel burdensome, while focusing only on spirituality can lack stability. Balancing these aspects requires effort, and people with ADHD often lean toward spiritual freedom, or "the circle," over rigid structure, or "the square." They tend to follow emotional instincts rather than obligations, which can make it difficult to strike a balance between performing tasks technically and connecting wholeheartedly only when inspired.

Practical Strategies

1. Connecting Through Emotion
The structured aspect of prayer is often the main challenge. Starting from relatable elements and gradually building engagement can help reconnect emotionally. Deepening understanding of prayer, adding personal words, and incorporating music can enhance connections. For children, teaching the joy of direct connection with the divine helps them see structured prayer as a useful tool rather than a chore.

2. Connecting Through Structure
Aligning emotions with structure can begin with external actions that ignite inner feelings. Physical movements or expressive gestures can convey significance and help transition from other tasks to prayer. Gradually, these actions can foster habitual initiation even without strong internal motivation.

3. Showing Empathy
Approach discussions gently, without worry or criticism. Parents should view children beyond temporary behavior, understanding that challenges do not reflect a negative spiritual outlook. Emphasize prayer as a gift and highlight its benefits. Encourage open conversations about difficulties and support children in expressing their challenges, normalizing the effort required.

4. Progress Steadily
Avoid the urge to achieve too quickly. Building concentration and commitment takes gradual practice. Set realistic goals, start with brief focused segments, and adjust prayer times to a child’s capacity. Smaller portions or private prayer sessions can be effective starting points.

5. Recognizing Unique Traits
Embrace individual traits rather than imposing strict constraints. Some may benefit from incorporating physical movement into prayer. Encouraging active participation, such as allowing them to lead parts of a prayer service, can enhance engagement and motivation.

The dynamic between the "circle" and "square" within a person can either repel or attract like magnetic poles. Understanding this balance and working toward harmony allows one to integrate both structure and emotion, ultimately strengthening the prayer experience.

Chaim Dayan is a clinical social worker, PhD candidate, and chairman of the "Attention Institute."