How to Make Studying Talmud with Your Child a Joyful Experience

Does your son shy away from studying with you? Do you both enjoy your study sessions? Studying together with your son can be an enjoyable experience that not only develops the child’s mind but also reinforces the emotional bond and strengthens parental authority. Naturally, a child desires a connection with their parent, and studying together can create moments of closeness, warmth, and love. So why does it often not work out? Here are practical tools to help you study successfully with any child—especially a child with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).

Set a Goal – Most of a child’s primary learning takes place at school, where they are also evaluated. The main goal of studying together is to “make the Talmud beloved to the child.” Keep a guiding “compass” in mind: how do you want your child to view the Talmud twenty years from now, or how will today’s learning encourage them to want to study with you again? During joint study sessions, emphasize warmth and affection, give compliments, and foster a sense of importance—while minimizing criticism and formal “tests.”

Prepare the Topic – Even if you know the subject well, preparing it specifically for your child can significantly enhance the shared learning. The clearer the material is to you, the more concisely you can present it and the more effectively you can illustrate it. If your son struggles with learning, consider preparing the upcoming topic together in advance. If he resists studying Talmud with his father, explore other areas such as midrashim, stories of our sages, or different books to learn together.

Environmental Conditions – Observe whether your child learns best in a quiet space or benefits from a lively environment; whether they concentrate better sitting still or with movement, such as walking or standing. Know your child: sometimes suppressing movement consumes mental energy and hinders focus, while at other times regulating movement improves concentration.

Enhance Strengths – Every topic has aspects of “content”—the inner principle (circle)—and aspects of “framework”—the external structure, such as reading and analysis (square). Some children connect more to the “circle,” while others excel in the “square.” Although weaknesses must eventually be addressed, begin with strengths. For example, if your child relates more to the conceptual side, ask which opinion they understand best or how they would rule in a similar case (circle), and then gradually guide them to see how the Talmud’s text leads to a halachic ruling (square).

Segmentation and Pre-Orientation – Break the topic into small units and provide a clear preview by giving a title that explains what will be learned. Inform the child in advance when the study will take place and how long it will last—and finish on time, even if the topic is incomplete. It is generally preferable for the child to want more rather than feel overfilled. Help the child transition from other activities by using a consistent trigger, such as reciting a short prayer before learning or beginning with a set routine. When interrupting an activity the child values, do so respectfully—what appears trivial to an adult may feel deeply important to the child.

Active Learning – Encourage the child to participate actively: leading, thinking aloud, reading, explaining, completing sentences, and asking questions. Aim for the child to function more as a teacher than a passive listener. It is easier to connect with material that emerges from within than with information imposed externally. Active engagement also supports better concentration than passive listening.

Experiential Learning – Emphasize positive emotions: enjoyment, satisfaction, a sense of success, curiosity, interest, value, meaning, joy, and enthusiasm. Highlight the spiritual depth of the learning, illustrate concepts, and make them tangible. Revive the drama that once filled the beit midrash by sharing stories of our sages, the scholars who studied these teachings, and the places or events connected to them, so the child experiences the Talmud as alive and meaningful.

Connect to the Child’s World – Some examples in the Talmud, such as oxen or cows, may feel distant from a modern child’s daily life. To prevent learning from becoming abstract, identify the underlying principle within the original example and present a parallel scenario from the child’s own world that conveys the same idea.

Engaged Learning – Encourage the child to take a position in the debate and explain which opinion they support and why. Appeal to their sense of justice and logic. Allow them to ask questions from their own perspective, even if they seem marginal. What may appear to a parent as distraction or argumentativeness may actually be the child’s way of connecting to the material. Even less effective questions can be refined and given meaning. If they significantly disrupt the flow, write them down and address them respectfully at the end.

Practical Learning – Relate the topic to real-life situations to demonstrate that the Talmud is a living book of law, not merely historical discussion. Translate the sugiya into a contemporary case if the child prefers practical matters, or extract a theoretical question if that suits them better. Resources such as the writings of Rabbi Zilberstein, Rabbi Spitz, Maorot HaDaf Yomi, illustrated Talmuds, and similar materials can be helpful. Always reconnect the discussion to the original text so the child becomes accustomed to locating ideas within the Talmud itself. Ultimately, the goal is for the child to develop independence in Talmud study.

Chaim Dayan is a clinical social worker and doctoral candidate, and chairman of the Attention Institute.