Navigating Summer Break with Kids Who Have ADHD

During summer break, especially this year when current events limit travel and outdoor activities, the period can become particularly challenging for children with ADHD and their parents. The SET (Salutogenic Existential Therapy) approach offers meaningful insights and practical tools for navigating these circumstances.

Guiding Principles

Children with ADHD do not only struggle with paying attention in class. They often find it difficult to relate to reality as it is. Reality is “square”: it is confined by time and space and operates according to clear rules. In contrast, a person’s inner world is “round”, offering more freedom, imagination, and possibility. This inner roundness resembles dreams, where anything can happen, and confronting square reality can feel restrictive and frustrating.

These children can be complex to understand. On one hand, they need more freedom, independence, and authenticity than other children. On the other hand, they require clearer rules and stronger structure. Their natural inclination toward freedom and inward listening is precisely why they need external frameworks. These square boundaries help them feel secure and stable and allow them to bring their aspirations into reality. The goal is freedom within thoughtfully designed limits.

A strong connection to the round world can also create hypersensitivity to boredom, emptiness, and a sense of meaninglessness. Routine, which may feel gray and restrictive, often clashes with their need for deep meaning and stimulation. As a result, they may try to reshape routine to fit their inner world. This can show up as restlessness, disruptions, binge eating, excessive screen time, or other behaviors that make reality feel more alive.

This pull toward the round can come at the expense of connecting to the square. Listening, rule following, and persistence may be avoided. Over time, this can lead to academic or social difficulties and feelings of helplessness about controlling behavior or achieving desired outcomes. These experiences can further reinforce withdrawal into the inner world and resistance to frustrating external demands.

These traits are innate. As parents, our role is not to eliminate them, but to understand and embrace them while providing a flexible structure that offers order, consistency, security, meaning, and practical tools for daily life.

Applying These Principles During Summer

Clear and Flexible Routine

Children with ADHD often struggle to create and maintain a daily routine and may need more parental support to avoid feeling lost. During the unstructured days of summer, setting a few clear “anchors” can help meet basic needs and maintain stability. These anchors should be limited in number and flexible in nature. They might include timeframes for meals, prayer, study, and one or two regular activities. When the framework is clear and manageable, children experience greater freedom within it. Boundaries do not reduce freedom; they make it possible.

Dealing with Boredom

Children with ADHD become bored easily, and boredom can feel deeply uncomfortable. Some children struggle to self entertain and may wander restlessly, feeling hungry or unsettled. Boredom often shows itself indirectly through irritability, disturbing others, seeking risk or excitement, negative attention seeking, or repeated complaints. These behaviors are expressions of distress rather than defiance.

Try not to take them personally. Instead, view them as a call for help, even if expressed in an unhelpful way. This mindset opens the door to creative solutions, beginning with understanding the child and helping him understand himself. Reducing anxiety around boredom makes it easier to manage. One practical strategy is to create a “bank of activities” together: a written list of ideas the child can choose from when boredom strikes. You cannot remove your child’s struggles, but you can support and accompany him as he learns to navigate square reality, even when it does not fully match his expectations.

Continuous Medication

Many children benefit from continuing medication during summer break. Without it, their ability to function emotionally and behaviorally may decline. If a doctor recommends maintaining treatment during the summer, it is important to take this seriously. Weigh the potential emotional distress and functional challenges of stopping medication before making a decision.

Mental Preparation

Some children with ADHD are easily caught off guard by situations others find predictable. A special outing, for example, may lead to overwhelming excitement that results in scattered or impulsive behavior. Preparing in advance can help. Preparation means anticipating what is coming, discussing expectations, and involving the child in planning coping strategies. This supports emotional readiness and improves self regulation.

Encouraging Physical Activity

Physical activity is an effective way for children to release excess energy and aggression. Try to include movement throughout the day, such as ball games, biking, or walks in the park. Regular activity supports both physical and emotional health and helps reduce boredom and tension.

Creating Quality Time with Your Child

Make room for meaningful, one on one time with your child. Shared activities, open conversations, and creative play strengthen your connection and allow your child to feel seen and understood. This is especially important for children who frequently receive criticism or corrective feedback. Feeling valued and loved builds resilience and trust.

Conclusion

Summer break is an opportunity to practice balancing freedom with boundaries. By offering a clear structure, addressing boredom, continuing medical treatment when needed, preparing for upcoming events, encouraging physical activity, and investing in quality time, we can provide children with the support they need to thrive.

Childhood challenges are training grounds for life. During the school year, children receive structure from the education system. Vacation simulates maturity, as children take on more responsibility for organizing their time and engaging themselves. At the same time, they must learn to protect their inner world, finding themselves within a framework that balances freedom with necessary boundaries. Viewed this way, summer becomes not just a break, but a powerful educational opportunity.

Dr. Chaim Dayan is a clinical social worker and chairman of the Institute of Attention.