Embracing the Struggle: It’s About the Fight, Not Just the Win

One of the deepest questions faced by anyone striving for spiritual growth is this: I try again and again to improve. Sometimes I succeed, but many times I fail. The pattern repeats itself effort, setback, renewed effort and then another fall. Over time, this can lead to exhaustion and despair. How can a person continue when the struggle feels endless?

The honest answer may sound surprising. The expectation is not constant victory. The expectation is to keep fighting.

What Is Truly Expected of Us

Real victory comes only with special help from Heaven, a gift that is granted at the right moment. But in order to merit that help, a person must keep making the effort. Hashem knows from the outset that falls will happen, especially given the challenges of our time. Does Hashem expect us to never fail? That would be impossible. No one, not even the greatest people, has lived without setbacks.

Rabbi Isaac Hutner, the author of Pachad Yitzchak, once expressed pain over this very point. We often write about the greatness of our spiritual leaders, their accomplishments and miracles, but we forget to describe their inner struggles, their doubts, and the difficult path they walked to reach that greatness. That path of challenge and trial is the true lesson of their lives.

Our Generation’s Unique Challenge

In a generation marked by spiritual weakness and constant distraction, how can anyone reasonably expect uninterrupted success? Claiming that a person must always win without stumbling is simply not true. What is demanded of us is perseverance.

We are expected to keep fighting, to change strategies, and to begin again each time we fall even if it happens many times in a single day. The task is not to abandon the battlefield. Like a loyal soldier, we bandage our wounds as best we can and stand up again with whatever strength remains.

The Cycle of Ups and Downs

It is true that Hashem requires repentance for every failure. That standard does not change. Still, the cycle of rising and falling is unavoidable. The despair that comes from these ups and downs is the real danger. A person becomes discouraged and believes their efforts are meaningless.

Yes, a person is responsible for their actions and must repent. But these repeated struggles are part of the process through which a person ultimately achieves spiritual repair. Especially in our time, is there anything more precious to Hashem than seeing people who feel weak, confused, and overwhelmed, yet continue to struggle and try again?

Beloved Despite the Falls

When a person does what is asked of them to start again each time they fall they are beloved in the eyes of Hashem. Past failures do not cancel sincere effort. Growth comes specifically through falling and rising. Every fall can be repaired through regret, repentance, and confession. The essential thing is never to give up.

Focusing on What Is Working

A well known story illustrates this idea. A man once came to the Steipler and said, “Rabbi, I fail often.” The Steipler asked him, “Do you sometimes succeed?” The man repeated, “But I fail often.” Again the Rabbi asked, “And do you sometimes succeed?” After several rounds, the man finally answered, “Yes, sometimes I do succeed.”

The Steipler replied, “Then go with that strength. Focus on those moments of success, draw encouragement from them, and continue forward.”

Hashem Never Tests Beyond Our Strength

We are taught that Hashem does not test a person beyond their capacity. If this is true regarding the effort required to avoid wrongdoing, it is certainly true that Hashem does not reject those who struggle sincerely, even when they fail.

The Greatest Repair

In a letter from the Steipler, he writes that the act of standing up again after a fall is itself the greatest form of spiritual repair and already counts as a victory.

This aligns with the teaching of the Baal Shem Tov, who explained that the true goal of the negative inclination is not the sin itself, but the sadness and loss of strength that follow. Once a person feels broken and hopeless, greater damage can occur.

The Real Strategy of the Evil Inclination

Consider a successful merchant. It is not someone who works endlessly for little return, but someone who invests wisely and gains much. The negative inclination operates in a similar way. It knows that a single failure can eventually be repaired through repentance. What it truly seeks is to push a person into despair, convincing them that their past efforts were meaningless. That hopelessness leads to deeper and more damaging falls.

When a person commits to fighting without compromise, even knowing they may fall again, they fulfill the true essence of repentance.

There Is No Effort in Vain

True repentance does not mean promising never to fail again, something no human can guarantee. Our sages teach us not to trust ourselves completely until the end of life. Even the most righteous are tested.

Rather, repentance means deciding never to give up. Even if a person falls many times, they resolve to keep fighting and never surrender. That determination itself is the repair.

Understanding the Point of Choice

Each person’s tests are matched to their level. If someone is no longer tempted by a particular sin, it means they have already grown beyond that point. But any area where temptation still exists is simply an area where growth is still ongoing. Even the greatest figures were tested in matters of desire, as recorded throughout the Talmud.

Only Hashem knows when a person’s struggles will end. As long as temptation remains, the work in that area is not yet complete.

Count Successes, Not Failures

Do not demand perfection from yourself after repeated setbacks. Instead, count your successes. Your falls are not meant to defeat you but to show you where you need stronger safeguards. Every small victory strengthens you.

If a fall is interpreted as rejection, it leads to despair, which is far more damaging than the fall itself.

The Work of Our Generation

The challenge of constant effort without emotional inspiration is especially characteristic of our generation. We are asked to persevere even without spiritual excitement. This quiet persistence is a rare form of service that earlier generations did not face to the same degree.

Our generation is sometimes called the “heel generation,” moving forward step by step, often without feeling, yet refusing to stop.

Falling and Rising Again

We are not asked to exceed our capacity. We are asked to endure repeated cycles of falling and rising, each time reinforcing our loyalty to Hashem. This persistence, even without recognition or reward, is true success.

As taught in the name of the Baal Shem Tov, even moments of distraction or distance are part of Hashem’s plan to ultimately draw a person closer. As Scripture says, “I have set Hashem always before me,” meaning that even when things feel difficult, we trust that everything is leading us toward good.