When Serving Hashem Feels Overwhelming

Many sincere people struggle with a painful and confusing challenge: obsessiveness in their service of Hashem. Instead of bringing peace, joy, and closeness, their religious practice becomes heavy, tense, and filled with constant anxiety.

This struggle has caused many well-meaning individuals to falter. What begins as a desire to serve Hashem properly can slowly turn into fear, pressure, and emotional exhaustion.

Where the Struggle Begins

In most cases, this difficulty grows from a lack of confidence. A person constantly questions whether they fulfilled the halacha correctly. Doubt replaces calm, and fear replaces trust.

Often, such individuals believe their strictness proves strong faith. They feel that if they are not careful to the extreme, they may be failing Hashem. However, this struggle cannot be resolved until they recognize a deeper issue. The conflict is not really about faith in Hashem, but about trust in the sages.

Trust in the sages is a foundational part of Jewish faith. Each generation is guided by Torah scholars who understand how halacha is meant to be lived by real people. When a person ignores this guidance and relies only on their fears, they can lose direction and fall into spiritual traps.

Different Forms of Obsessive Thoughts

This struggle can appear in many areas of religious life.

Some people constantly worry whether they fulfilled a mitzvah correctly. The anxiety becomes so intense that they eventually give up the mitzvah altogether. For example, there have been cases where someone became so preoccupied with checking the placement of tefillin that they eventually stopped wearing them.

Others struggle with prayer. Young men seeking proper concentration may repeat words again and again, fearing they did not focus enough. This can turn prayer into a stressful experience rather than a meaningful one. Similar concerns arise with Shema, where people repeat words out of fear they mispronounced them.

Some become overly concerned with cleanliness, washing repeatedly before prayer, or obsessing over netilat yadayim. Others are disturbed by intrusive or inappropriate thoughts during prayer, especially when mentioning Hashem’s name. These thoughts are unwanted, upsetting, and deeply troubling.

This struggle is often stronger in those who feel inadequate or inferior, and it can lead to sadness and depression if not addressed properly.

A General Approach to Healing

The first thing to know is that this condition is often temporary. For some it lasts longer, for others shorter, but with maturity, guidance, and perspective, it usually weakens. Over time, many come to realize that these fears did not come from holiness, but from anxiety.

Second, it is crucial to understand that this behavior does not stem from true piety. Recognizing this is essential. Without that awareness, a person may believe they are on the right path and resist changing, even as their joy disappears.

Trusting the Sages

The Torah was not meant to be interpreted according to personal fears. Throughout generations, Jews have relied on their sages to guide them. If these extreme concerns were valid, our rabbis would have practiced them and taught them.

Have you seen your teachers or great rabbis consumed by such worries? The fact that they are not shows that these fears are not part of authentic halachic practice.

Rabbi Chaim Kanievsky emphasized that when a person follows the guidance of the sages without stubbornly insisting on their own fears, they are protected. Even without fully understanding the reasoning, following clear halacha saves a person from serious spiritual harm.

This approach has helped many who were on the brink of abandoning mitzvot altogether.

The Torah’s Ways Are Pleasant

The Torah itself teaches that “her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace.” Mitzvot are meant to calm the soul, not torment it.

If your observance fills you with tension, fear, and inner conflict, this is a sign that something is wrong. Some people, overwhelmed by these pressures, have even stopped practicing altogether. That alone shows that such behavior cannot come from holiness.

Hashem’s commandments were given to bring both spiritual and emotional wellbeing. When anxiety dominates, it is often the voice of the yetzer hara, not true devotion.

Specific Areas of Obsession

Netilat Yadayim

Some worry excessively about the washing cup or repeated washing. The Mishnah Berurah rules simply that pouring the required amount of water over each hand is sufficient. There is no need for added stringencies that create stress.

Prayer and Shema

Students who struggled with repeating words and worrying about intention were helped through several steps:
Recognizing the source of the anxiety.
Resisting the urge to repeat.
Receiving reassurance from trusted rabbinic figures.
Practicing reading calmly outside of prayer to build confidence.

Over time, calm prayer returned.

Cleanliness Concerns

Regarding worries after using the restroom, the Steipler taught to follow the basic halachic requirements and not engage in excessive checking. The Shulchan Aruch itself emphasizes simplicity in this area.

Tefillin Placement

Even respected authorities rule that reasonable estimation is sufficient. Extreme precision beyond halacha is unnecessary and harmful.

Intrusive or Heretical Thoughts

The Steipler advised not to engage such thoughts intellectually. Instead, focus on strengthening mitzvot like Shabbat observance, humility, submission to Torah guidance, and prayer. These thoughts are tests, not reflections of who you are.

Vows and Oaths

For those compelled to make vows, the Steipler explains that vows made under pressure often have no halachic force. Consulting a rabbi is essential, and understanding the emotional root of the issue helps dissolve it.

In Summary

Hashem created Torah for human beings, not angels. The Torah assumes stability, simplicity, and trust. Excessive stringencies born from fear contradict its purpose.

True service of Hashem is meant to bring peace, joy, and clarity. The antidote to obsession is faith. Faith that Hashem is with you. Faith that He does not demand perfection born of fear. Faith that even in struggle, He shares your pain and leads you toward light.

May this understanding bring relief, strength, and a calm return to joyful service.

This article is adapted from the book 'Living with Faith' by Rabbi Yaakov Israel Lugasi.