Choosing Real Life in the Age of Smartphones

It was about a month ago. But does it really matter when? Scenes like this happen every day, moment by moment.

A little boy, maybe five or six, sat at the playground with his eyes locked on his father’s smartphone. He stared at the screen like he was somewhere else entirely.

“Roy, that’s enough. Give me the phone,” his father said, trying to sound firm.

But Roy was not really hearing him. His fingers kept moving, fast and focused, as if the screen were the only world that mattered. The father demanded the phone back. The boy begged for “just a little more.” The scene played on repeat like a loop.

I found myself thinking, why bring him to the playground at all?

And when the phone finally returned to its owner, the father did what so many of us do without even noticing. He immediately checked it again, as if something urgent must have happened in the last sixty seconds.

Honestly, I felt bad for both of them.

Two Different Childhoods at the Same Playground

I was there without a smartphone, using a kosher phone. I was running around with my daughter in the purple train cars, laughing, being present, sharing a real moment that will actually live inside her.

Not an imaginary world. Not endless updates. Just a father and daughter, together.

And Roy? Roy, like so many children, teens, and adults, was living inside a virtual world, trapped in a piece of metal that we all claim “makes life easier” and “how could we live without it?”

Yes, technology can make life easier. But too often, it also disconnects us from life itself.

The Cost of Constant Connection

Some people make a brave decision to step back from smartphones in order to truly live. To be with the people in front of them, without the constant interruptions of notifications that pull mothers and fathers away, and steal attention from sons and daughters.

It is not an easy choice. Every good choice has a price. Here, the price is giving up some convenience.

But the reward is hard to measure, because it shows up in the places that matter most: stronger relationships, calmer minds, and a home that feels more human.

The addiction to constant updates quietly trains us to miss what is happening around us. We lose the people. We lose the moment. We lose the essence of real life.

When Technology Works Against Us

With all respect to modern technology, who says that in cases like this it is helping us?

A smartphone can become an addictive tool that pulls us into a world of flickering pixels. It disconnects us from what is happening right now, from our surroundings, and sometimes even from ourselves.

The Spiritual and Emotional Price of Unfiltered Media

And there is another layer that many people prefer not to think about.

Unfiltered media often exposes us to values and behavior that slowly shape us. Shaming, mocking, and humiliating others has become normal online. Our sages warned that humiliating someone in public is comparable to shedding blood.

Even when we believe we are “just watching,” exposure leaves an imprint. The spiritual damage does not only come from agreeing with what we see. It can come simply from letting it enter our minds again and again.

On the emotional side as well, we see the results. Many studies and mental health professionals point to the harm linked to heavy exposure to unfiltered online content, including lowered self-esteem, increased anxiety and depression, loneliness, neglect of real-life relationships, and a weakening of basic human warmth.

A Simple Alternative

There is an alternative, one that can stop the cycle.

It is called a kosher phone.

Your Weekly Challenge

If you’re currently using an unfiltered smartphone and want to take one step forward, consider your options carefully.

You might choose to install a reliable filtering or accountability app that limits access to harmful content. Others prefer using a protected or filtered smartphone designed to reduce distractions and exposure altogether. And for some, the most effective option is switching to a kosher phone that removes internet access entirely.

Each option comes with tradeoffs. Some require giving up convenience, others require adjusting habits. But all of them aim at the same goal: reclaiming your attention, your presence, and your relationships.

Take a moment to think it through. Consider what you gain, not just what you give up.

And who knows? You may eventually find yourself recommending the change to someone else.