Seeing Hashem Differently: From Fear to Trust

Many young people struggle with how they perceive Hashem. Instead of seeing Him as a loving Father, they imagine Him as an angry king, ruling only through strict justice. This image leads some to despair, to feelings that they should never have been created, and to fear of punishment in this world or the next. Over time, these thoughts can harden into bitterness and even hatred.

This mindset is especially common among those newly observing Judaism, who often encounter moralistic texts without the guidance of experienced Torah scholars who can convey Hashem’s compassion alongside His justice.

A Distorted Image of Divine Justice

Some come to believe that even ordinary, sincere people are judged by Hashem with absolute severity. They often base this view on stories from the Torah, particularly the punishments that occurred during the generation of the wilderness.

Before speaking about Hashem as a loving Father, we must first correct this deeply mistaken image of Him as a tyrant. When our sages spoke about awe of Hashem, they referred to awe of His greatness, not fear of a vengeful ruler. Punishments in Judaism are not acts of revenge. They are meant to repair spiritual damage and heal the soul.

We also cannot measure Hashem’s conduct with us today by looking at the generation of the wilderness. That generation lived on a prophetic level and experienced open Divine revelation. They were expected to reach extraordinary spiritual perfection, and even a single failing could affect the entire nation.

Everyone remembers the sin of the Golden Calf, yet few realize that only about three thousand people were directly involved out of a population of three million. Today, we live in a time of concealment, with immense challenges in faith and temptation. It is neither wise nor accurate to assume Hashem treats our weakened generation with the same strictness applied to prophets and those who lived with open revelation.

Mercy Is the Source of Our Mercy

It is troubling how some young people imagine Hashem, whom our sages consistently call “the Merciful One,” as lacking mercy altogether. In their minds, Hashem becomes a tyrant, worse than the cruel regimes of history. But how can a human presume to possess more compassion than their Creator?

All mercy we feel, toward ourselves or others, comes from Hashem. Even animals do not demonstrate mercy as humans do. History has shown entire nations capable of ignoring the cries of millions. From where does human compassion come, if not from Hashem Himself?

Can the source of all mercy truly be merciless? Some go further and imagine Hashem as detached and unaware of human pain, similar to Job’s initial misunderstanding. They envision Him as a cold force of nature, not the Creator who governs and understands all.

King David protested against this very notion, saying that Hashem sees, hears, and knows the thoughts of man. The prophet Jeremiah declares that Hashem searches the heart and tests the mind. Hashem understands us more deeply than our closest friend ever could.

Justice With Understanding

Our sages indeed taught that Hashem is not lenient and does not accept mitzvot as bribes for wrongdoing. Rambam writes that one who sins believing Yom Kippur will automatically atone is mistaken.

There is justice, and there is a Judge. No one who harms others or sins without repentance escapes accountability. But justice does not mean blindness. Hashem does not judge like an unthinking force of nature. If He did not understand us, prayer, repentance, and heartfelt conversation with Him would be meaningless.

Only with the greatest righteous does Hashem act with extreme precision. These rare individuals willingly chose a path of uncompromising closeness to Hashem and were capable of enduring it. Rabbi Akiva, for example, rejoiced in his martyrdom, seeing it as the ultimate expression of love for Hashem.

For such individuals, suffering was understood as purification and closeness. Rambam explains that the greatest pleasure of the righteous is closeness to Hashem, even when it comes through hardship.

A World Built on Mercy

Our sages clearly state that the world cannot endure justice alone. It exists because Hashem created it with mercy. Hashem does not burden His creations beyond their capacity and judges each person according to their circumstances and inner state.

A person is not held accountable during moments of distress, anger, or confusion. Halacha distinguishes between sin committed out of desire and sin committed out of rebellion. Hashem knows the heart and judges each individual personally.

The belief that Hashem is distant from our hearts is a tactic of the evil inclination, meant to create anger and distance. The Torah reminds us that while humans see outward actions, Hashem sees the heart.

Learning From the Sages of Our Generation

Look at the righteous scholars Hashem appointed to guide His people. Do they harden their hearts toward the sick, the orphaned, or the struggling youth? Or do they respond with compassion, patience, and understanding?

The Torah commands us to follow the sages because they reflect Hashem’s will. Would Hashem appoint leaders who lack mercy?

It is impossible that in the World to Come we will discover Hashem to be less compassionate than the sages who represented Him in this world.

Why Does Love Sometimes Hurt?

A difficult question remains. If Hashem loves us, how can He allow pain?

The key word here is capable. We struggle to believe that a loving parent could allow suffering. But our emotional perception is limited, and we lack the full picture.

The Pain of Growth

An infant experiences even small discomforts as overwhelming pain. Teething, injections, or taking away a toy can feel catastrophic. Yet parents willingly bring children into the world knowing they will experience pain, because they understand that growth transforms perspective.

Likewise, Hashem would not bring souls into existence unless He knew they would ultimately thank Him. Our bodies are temporary garments. In the World to Come, today’s pains may appear as fleeting moments, like a bad dream after awakening.

The Pain of Love

Childbirth is often described as one of the most intense pains known to humanity. Yet billions of women choose it willingly, again and again, because the result is love, life, and meaning.

Pain does not negate love. Sometimes it is the price of it.

The Pain of Healing

There are moments when doctors must act harshly to save lives. Surgery without anesthesia, emergency procedures, and painful treatments can appear cruel to an observer. Yet those who survive are grateful.

A small child cannot understand why a parent allows a doctor to cause pain. But the parent knows it is an act of love.

So too with Hashem. He is the Healer of bodies and souls. Sometimes healing requires painful intervention. We are like children who cannot yet understand why Father allows the surgery.

A Future Understanding

Our sages teach that in the World to Come, all suffering will be recognized as goodness. What we bless today as justice, we will one day bless as kindness.

Until then, we pray to see Hashem’s goodness revealed in this world, and to trust that even when we do not understand, our Father and King acts with perfect wisdom and infinite love.