Embracing Change: The Journey of Growth in Cheshvan

In Israel, the phrase “after the holidays” has become shorthand for change we plan to make later. A new job, a new routine, better habits, personal growth, all postponed until the holidays are over. But what happens when the holidays actually end? What happens after the reflection, the inspiration, the resolutions, and the spiritual highs of Tishrei?

This is where the real work begins.

The Only Month Without Holidays

As the holidays conclude, we enter the month of Cheshvan. Our sages refer to it as “Mar Cheshvan,” often understood as “bitter Cheshvan,” because it is the only month in the Jewish calendar without any holidays.

Cheshvan is also called the month of “Bul,” a term associated with withering grass. Autumn has arrived. The days grow shorter, the weather cools, and life settles back into routine. After a month filled with mitzvot, gatherings, and spiritual elevation, we suddenly return to ordinary life.

Why does the calendar move so quickly from spiritual intensity to complete normalcy?

The Test of Cheshvan

Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch explains that the holidays grant us a priceless gift: a taste of a refined, meaningful life lived close to Hashem. But the real question is whether that gift becomes permanent.

Did we truly acquire something lasting, or was it only a passing experience? Will the purity, joy, and resolve of Tishrei continue once routine returns, or will it quickly fade?

Cheshvan is the month that answers this question. It is the testing ground where we are challenged to bring what we absorbed during the holidays into daily life, into our homes, work, studies, relationships, and ordinary decisions.

Inspiration Alone Is Not Enough

Through my own experience in coaching, I saw this pattern clearly. Some people experienced powerful insight and growth during the process and translated it into action. Others remembered the process fondly as uplifting and inspiring, but eventually returned to old habits.

The difference was not desire or sincerity. It was action.

Every growth process includes a moment of choice: to remain in familiar comfort or to move forward despite difficulty. This moment arrives after awareness, not during it.

The Secret of Small Actions

While in the United States, I once asked a successful Jewish businesswoman what her secret was. Her answer was simple. She does everything like everyone else, just a little more. That extra effort, she explained, is what makes the difference.

Rabbi Wolbe expressed this idea beautifully, teaching that personal growth is built from small actions. Just as the physical world is made of tiny particles, spiritual growth is formed through actions that seem almost insignificant.

Small actions do not overwhelm. They do not exhaust. Yet over time, they build a person.

Why Big Changes Often Fail

Those who focus only on the final vision often become discouraged by the distance between where they are and where they want to be. The goal feels too large, the effort too demanding.

Judaism teaches a different approach. The Torah describes creation as unfolding step by step, even though Hashem could have created everything instantly. This teaches that the process itself is essential. Growth happens gradually, through consistent effort.

Rabbi Wolbe adds another insight. Small actions do not awaken inner resistance. Big changes often trigger an internal pushback that halts progress. Small steps, by contrast, allow steady and lasting transformation.

The Decisive Moment

After the holidays, and often during any growth process, there is a natural drop when routine resumes. This is not failure. It is the decisive moment.

At this point, we choose between focusing on the distance still ahead or focusing on the next small step we can take right now. The sages guide us toward the second option: act within what is possible today, with trust in Hashem.

Cheshvan and the Lesson of Noach

It is no coincidence that Cheshvan begins with Parashat Noach. The generation of the flood gave up because they believed they could never reach the moral standard Hashem expected. They abandoned the effort entirely.

Noach, however, responded differently. After witnessing total destruction and being saved, he built a simple altar to express gratitude. It seemed like a small act, yet Hashem valued it so deeply that it led to a promise never to destroy the world in that way again.

A single, sincere step had consequences for all of humanity.

Carrying the Holidays Forward

Cheshvan teaches that spiritual life is not sustained by moments of inspiration alone, but by quiet, consistent action. The true measure of the holidays is not how uplifted we felt, but how we live afterward.

May we merit to carry the insights, resolutions, and growth of Tishrei into our daily lives, both in Cheshvan and throughout the year, one small step at a time.