Finding Faith Amidst Adversity: Shay Golden's Journey

Getting to Know Shay

Shay Golden, 46, currently works at the 'Reshet' network. Prior to this, he held various senior positions in different newspapers and media outlets.

A Spark of Nostalgia

My early childhood was spent in an orphanage. For six years, I was there with my brother Ran, who is a year older than me. I remember how, on Shabbat, families would visit the orphanage, but no one came for us because we didn't have any relatives interested in us. We were always alone, confined to our room, staring out the window at the other children with their families.

Looking back, I believe it was in the orphanage that I made the decision to save my life. Even at the young age of four or five, I understood that each of us has the power to save ourselves or to become a victim. The choice is in our hands.

A Spark of Judaism

From the age of six, I grew up in a completely secular home. My adoptive father identified as an atheist. We celebrated Jewish holidays, but we never went to synagogue voluntarily, lit Shabbat candles, or kept mitzvot. If someone had dropped from outer space, they wouldn't have known our home was Jewish since there were no signs of Judaism.

Nonetheless, even as a child, I always felt there was a meaning to being Jewish, a reason behind it, and it wasn't random. It was as clear to me as the sun and the sky that there is a G-d. I had no doubt about it. I knew it from an internal place; Judaism was always within me.

To this day, that feeling persists. It is entirely clear to me that Hashem watches over me, not just in a protective sense, but in a deeper understanding—He observes my actions, looks, examines, and checks. I'm not alone.

A Spark of Understanding

I feel that Hashem is always with me, watching over me at all times. I have my own way of communicating with Him, and He responds with signs and signals. Sometimes, when I make mistakes, He finds a way to tell me, 'I noticed that, don't think you got away with it.' On the other hand, I also know that whenever I call out to Him, He listens. I remember being a young teen, walking the fields with my dog, talking out loud to the Creator, fully knowing He was listening.

There's another thing I'm certain about—Hashem is not an ATM. Many people unfortunately think that the dialogue is one-sided—you make a request, press a button, and receive happiness, health, success, etc. But they're mistaken. The dialogue with Hashem doesn't work that way. If you insert a card and ask for 200 shekels, you're not automatically going to get it. To earn blessings, you need to prove your love and show you are worthy.

A Spark of Roots

My grandfather, the father of my adoptive mother, was a great rabbi in Romania. He fled with his family, who were all great scholars from Eastern Europe. The Germans caught them on the way, shaved their beards, and killed his brothers, father, and uncle. He was the only one who survived. I often asked my grandfather, 'How did you not lose your faith? You saw all your relatives murdered, then you were in the trains and hid in the forests. How did you keep believing?' My grandfather gave me a response I will never forget. He said, 'Listen, child, my faith didn't come from choice; it came from something internal and deep. I didn't choose to start believing. It's something that's simply ingrained in me.'

Over the years, my grandfather also took me to synagogue, especially on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. He gifted me a tallit and tefillin for my bar mitzvah.

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A Spark of Inspiration

I've always been drawn to the patriarchs, especially Jacob. He seems fascinating—a dreamer of deep dreams, a bit naive, yet he becomes the head of a family of 12 tribes. Plus, he was a valiant warrior who knew how to 'handle a fight'. He met an angel of Hashem and prevailed, earning the name 'Israel', as it is said, 'For you have struggled with G-d and with men and have prevailed.' What bravery. Today, we talk about Wonder Woman and Superman, but look at the hero of our people. Many times I reflect that there's a spark of Jacob in each of us, enabling us to overcome challenges.

A Spark of Commandments

My favorite commandment from the Ten Commandments is 'I am the Lord your G-d.' Why? Because it reflects what almost all of us go through. People are always in conversation with Hashem, asking: Who are you really? Are you real, or are these voices just in my head? Atheists call you an imaginary friend, and maybe that's true? Do you have a beard? Are you abstract? Can we touch you? What color are you? The one and only answer to all these questions is: 'I am the Lord your G-d.' Meaning, 'I will be what I will be', and you don't need to know anything beyond that.

It's a very complex conflict that we need to constantly work through because faith is based on something intangible. If I hold a phone or a pen or any other object, I don't need to believe it exists; it's clear from its physical presence. Here, because Hashem is not visible and there's no way for us to know Him physically, the only way to believe in Him is through faith.

I admit there's a part of me that sometimes wants to say to Hashem, 'Give me a form, a picture, an Instagram page, something solid to hold onto.' Then I remind myself of Abraham 5,000 years ago. He was in the field, illiterate, while everyone around him was worshipping idols, the most primitive there was. He suddenly told them, 'Listen, all these rituals and idols you pray to are nonsense. From now on, you need to believe in an abstract thought.' It's almost an impossible challenge—to convey abstract thinking to an uneducated person. Indeed, Abraham is considered the first philosopher.

I always remind myself: Surely, if Hashem only wanted, He could appear in Rabin Square and say to everyone, 'Hello, nice to meet you, I'm Hashem, from now on you worship and believe in me.' At that moment, the entire country would start worshipping Him. But Hashem desires something else; He wants us to believe in Him even when there are no signs. It is the deepest kind of faith, and it is what is required of us. That is also the meaning of 'I am the Lord your G-d.' You need to believe in me as I am, without form, without color, without anything. If you are looking for all those things, it means you are worshipping idols.

A Spark of Shabbat

I love Shabbat. As a child, I looked forward to it all week, mainly because of the soccer games I watched. Today, I love the rest it provides and the calm it brings. You don't have to be a believer to understand that the person who declared humans can't work seven days a week was a genius.

The genius of Shabbat is also that Hashem demands complete rest, where you not only turn off your work computer but also the one in your head. There's something very social about Shabbat. Hashem grouped us into a sort of labor union and ensures our right to rest. It's beautiful to me.

A Spark of Prayer

I occasionally go to the synagogue and pray, but most of my prayers are personal. Sometimes they come from a prayer book, other times from Psalms. I love praying; it's my way of communicating with Hashem, and I do it often.

A Spark of Struggle

My life hasn't been easy, and my childhood was challenging. Even today, it's not all roses. But I believe, from the deepest place in my heart, that even in the toughest times, Hashem is with me, and when I truly need Him, He always hears. It helps me in any situation of struggle or difficulty. In tough times, I simply lift my eyes to the heavens and say, 'I lift my eyes to you, the one who dwells in the heavens,' and then I know there's a moment of grace between me and G-d.

Final Thoughts – After 120 Years, What Would You Like to Know You Did and Left in the World?

I don't have big aspirations, but if I managed to leave behind a bit of beauty, a touch of goodness, in a world that sometimes lacks both, if I did it through words or deeds or anything else I might have been able to give—then I'm blessed. I have succeeded.