A Mother’s Gratitude in the Face of Unimaginable Loss

"We endured many challenging years of infertility, filled with prayers and tears, before being blessed with children," begins Chana Hirak. "Yosef Yehuda was our third child, with three daughters besides him."

Sergeant Yosef Yehuda Hirak fell to friendly fire in Gaza last May. Chana, his mother, manages a daycare in the City of David neighborhood near the Temple Mount, a role she resumed just a day after completing the seven-day mourning period for her son. "I have the privilege and responsibility of supporting the parents here and ensuring their children's education," she explains.

Honoring Parents to the Fullest

Tell us about your son.

"Yosef Yehuda was characterized by hard work. He was joyous, playful, and sociable, but academics didn’t come easily to him. He constantly had to exert effort. Despite this, for his Bar Mitzvah Torah reading, he mastered three pronunciations: Yemenite, Sephardic, and Ashkenazi, which required a lot of dedication."

When asked about his playful nature, Chana fondly recalls a story: At 18, Yosef Yehuda decided to go off the grid for days, venturing alone into the Judean Desert. For three days, without any cell reception or contact, his parents didn’t know his whereabouts. Her husband eventually hired an ATV to search for him, only to find him brimming with energy. "He wasn’t the typical 'good boy,' but he was always respectful," she adds with a smile.

Celebrating at a wedding

"Yosef Yehuda deeply respected my husband, often drawing inspiration from him. Though playful, he was easy to guide. If my husband voiced something, he would immediately align himself to it." During the week of mourning, rabbis from his yeshiva visited, sharing how he always spoke highly of his father, Rabbi Peretz.

In yeshiva, Yosef Yehuda wanted to enlist in the army only after marriage, to maintain his spiritual integrity. He got engaged at 20, but the engagement was called off a month before the wedding.

"The broken engagement was hard on Yosef Yehuda. When his sister got married shortly after, he partied and danced, but once we were alone in the car, he broke down in tears. It pained us to see him like that, but we knew he’d emerge stronger from this. And indeed, he did."

Family wedding celebrations

An 'Invisible Divine Hand'

A few months later, Yosef Yehuda chose to enlist. A year after his engagement broke, he met Emunah, and they got engaged just ten days later. "Yosef Yehuda shared with me, eyes glowing, 'Mom, you don’t understand the clarity and light.' Emunah is truly remarkable, a genuine blessing."

Dancing at his engagement

Were you worried when your son’s unit was deployed to Gaza?

"Not at all. I was completely at ease. There are many support activities for mothers of soldiers in our neighborhood, but I felt no need to attend. I prayed and gave charity for his well-being, but didn’t worry. In my mind, the heroine here is my daughter-in-law."

Yosef Yehuda and his wife Emunah

"I asked him to call his wife rather than me during free time, prioritizing their relationship. I missed him dearly, but life's challenges had already strengthened me, enabling me to cope. Challenges, I believe, elevate us spiritually and reveal our purpose."

On the day of the tragedy, Yosef Yehuda spoke with his father about Torah just thirty minutes prior. After ending the call, he sat on concrete blocks near his team's building. Unaware of their location, a lieutenant, stationed nearby, mistakenly perceived a threat and fired, leading to Yosef Yehuda's untimely death.

Does the fact that it was friendly fire add to the difficulty?

"Not at all," asserts Chana. "The officer was merely a vessel for Hashem’s will. I find comfort knowing he died by pure hands and not enemy fire. We haven’t met the officer yet, but hope to in the future."

Turning Trials into Triumph

Why express gratitude during such a heartbreaking moment at the funeral?

"We believe in three partners in a person’s life. I’ve always felt this poignantly in raising Yosef Yehuda. I did my part in education, trusting 'the third partner,' Hashem, to do His. Hashem gave us this gift for twenty two years; wouldn’t I express gratitude when returning it?"

Chana recounts a poignant moment weeks before the tragedy: Celebrating her daughter’s new baby, Yosef Yehuda managed a short leave to join the trip to central Israel. Along the way, discussing the war, he candidly expressed a wish that if he were to fall, "Psalm of Thanksgiving" be recited at his funeral. Unbeknownst to Chana, a friend ensured this was fulfilled.

A letter written on Holocaust Remembrance Day, weeks before his fall

"Hashem’s ways are mysterious," Chana continues. "We often seek many things: more children, wealth, lack of want. Sometimes, Hashem has alternative plans for us. It’s in our hands to find growth in this, realizing a different purpose."

Concluding with a message, Chana implores: "Choose life, as Yosef Yehuda did. Amidst challenges in various areas of his life, he consistently chose to rise and strive. I believe he wants us to find joy, a wish I strive to uphold."