In Their Final Days: Stories of Hope and Reflection

In our ever-changing world, there's a group of people living daily with the awareness that life is fleeting. These individuals have received the hardest of all news — their lives are nearing an end, and they now ponder deeply existential questions.

'From the moment they are diagnosed with an incurable disease, their thoughts are entirely different from those of most of us,' says Tzurit Yarchi, a social worker with Sabra Medicine's home hospice care. 'We allow terminal patients to be at home, helping them live out their final days with as much quality of life as possible.'

How do they cope with the knowledge of impending death?

'Each person faces this knowledge differently, and our role is to provide the right support. Many patients understand their situation, know the medical terms, and realize there's nothing more doctors can do. Some openly talk about saying goodbye, while others choose not to dwell on it to maintain peace. Our goal is to reduce fear as much as possible.'

How can we ease the journey for those nearing the end?

'As a social worker, I am part of a team that includes a doctor and a nurse, striving to support both the patient and their family. We first get to know the patient and their family dynamics — whether there's a spouse or a caregiver. Sometimes, the patient is in dementia, so the work is mainly with the family.' Yarchi recalls a meeting with grown children of a terminal patient: 'They found it hard to discuss their mother's impending departure, but found comfort talking with me.'

Any poignant encounters during this work?

'One patient, before his death, had his family visit him. Alone, he told me he sensed his end was near and asked me not to discuss it with his kids to spare them sadness. Yet, the children also felt their father's time was short and asked the same of me. This mutual consideration was touching, and I helped them connect on this understanding. In our work, we always align with the wishes of the patient and family.'

Is it challenging for caregivers to say goodbye?

'Definitely. It's emotionally taxing, knowing the outcome from the start. But there's a profound reverence in the finality of life. Saying goodbye in prayer mirrors the gravity of birth, as the soul departs and Hashem is present.'

Do religious beliefs impact how people approach life's end?

'Generally, the fear of the unknown is universal. However, people of faith often have more to cling to in their beliefs. Many grow spiritually, engaging in prayer and charity. A self-described atheist once surprised us by wearing a *tallit* and *tefillin* in his final days.'

What last regrets do people express?

'Family relationships often weigh heaviest. Asking for forgiveness is common and moving. People seldom regret financial pursuits; they cherish time spent with loved ones and helping others.'

How do families handle the final moments?

'Some families elevate the moment with songs and prayers, making it a meaningful farewell. Even if not religious, they find personal ways to share the journey.'

Mesusa Before the End

Neria Machlev, also a social worker with Sabra Medicine, notes that facing mortality often rekindles spirituality. She tells of an atheist patient who, in his last days, insisted on placing a *mesusa* on his door despite previous detachment from Jewish traditions. It was a profound final act that brought him peace.

These stories underline the universal realization that it's crucial to invest in deeply meaningful and valuable aspects of life, as taught by those who truly grasp their mortality.