Avital Schindler: Finding Strength Amidst Adversity

It's been nearly two years since Amichai was injured, and sometimes I feel like we're adjusting to our new normal," Avital Schindler reflects on life after her husband heroically protected their family during an attack on their home in Kerem Shalom during Simchat Torah. Amichai was gravely wounded and lost one of his hands in the process. "Just last week, as we began preparations for our youngest son's upcoming 'halakeh' ceremony, it hit us again," Avital recounts. "Amichai expressed his wish to cut a lock of hair, but we realized he can't do it himself with only one functional hand. Yet, Amichai is determined. He asked his occupational therapist to teach him to cut with special scissors. It's a reminder that this challenge is ongoing, or as Amichai often says: 'If life just goes back to normal, what was all the struggle for?'" **Facing Challenges Together** Avital exudes joy and inspiration, evident throughout her story: "We try to raise our children with happiness and continue our family life fully," she explains. "Our family stands strong despite the injury; we're resilient, and our children show remarkable strength. But the reality brings numerous challenges, big and small." "The first time I realized Amichai's journey is mine too was three weeks after the injury in the hospital," she recalls. "Amichai's condition slightly improved, allowing me to spend more time with the kids at home. I suddenly realized the responsibility on my shoulders: to explain the situation to them, maintain their daily routine, and be by Amichai's side every free moment." Remembering her longing for connection, Avital says, "I wanted to talk to other women in my situation, to share feelings, advice, and strength. I asked the hospital's social worker if there were support groups for wives of the injured but found none. There were groups for the injured and general family support, but not specifically for wives." "That was disappointing," Avital admits. "Despite the immense support around us, these well-meaning individuals can't fully grasp what I'm going through. Their support, though appreciated, never quite feels like the perfect fit." "That's why I was thrilled to learn about a new Facebook group, 'Forum for Wives of the Wounded.' In this group, we frequently see posts like, 'I have no other place where people get it, so I'm writing here...' We truly understand, because while the injuries and experiences differ, the feelings are deeply shared – no need for explanation, because you're living it too." **What Do Wives of the Injured Truly Go Through?** "It's a massive challenge starting from the hospitalization when a wife juggles between the children at home and her husband. A key struggle is having no confidant – the partner who'd listen is now the one needing support." "Even after returning home, life doesn't just snap back to its old rhythm. There may be amputations, wheelchairs, or disabilities like impaired sight or hearing. Even with milder injuries, expectations for resuming normal life linger while the husband is still immersed in his struggles." "Psychological injuries might be harder; here, a husband might appear fine outside but collapse at home without feeling part of the family. Conversations become cautious to avoid triggering him, and energy to handle daily noise and interactions with children may dwindle." "A special aspect of our group is maintaining optimism and seeing the good," Avital shares. "One of us began posting weekly uplifting thoughts, drawing our attention to the positive, no matter how minor it seems. Discovering such moments, slender yet exhilarating for us, became a binding force." **The Expanding Community** "Our 'Forum for Wives of the Wounded' started as a small Facebook group and now includes about 500 women," Avital passionately explains. "But this barely scratches the surface. We believe there are 5,000 potential members out there, but many just aren't aware of us yet." "Most women join after a month or two post-injury, initially absorbed with hospital care and resistant to the reality shift into a wounded family. Once they digest what’s happened, they find us." Recognizing the group's growth, Avital decided to transform it into a formal organization. "This involved significant effort, bureaucratic navigation, and supporting each other. Despite the logistics burden, we’ve become a lifeline for women needing immediate aid." **What Does the Organization Offer?** "We continue running support groups and now also organize fun days and retreats separately for mothers and their families. We've taken upon ourselves to help wives access their rights, often overlooked, due to the heavy service load on the Defense Ministry." "Our advocacy reaches governmental levels, emphasizing necessity in expanding support envelopes for the wounded and their families," Avital describes. Asked how she handles exposure to so many others’ hardships, Avital candidly admits, "It is hard. My own life with six kids and being married to someone with one hand isn’t simple. But I believe Hashem provides this strength for a purpose – it’s my mission now." **Growth from Pain** Before the war, Avital was integrating people with special needs into workplaces, and planning a shift to social work studies. "That transition didn’t happen," she mentions. "Next month, we aim to return home to Kerem Shalom, another stride towards our life's new reality." "Returning won’t be easy as everything there reminders us of past trauma," she acknowledges. "Both Amichai and I know we're meant to emerge better from this ordeal, which is why we're going back – to continue growing and thriving." Avital also has a message for those wishing to help: "Recognize the lengthy nature of recovery, sometimes spans years in adjusting to a new state. Even if a person looks recovered outwardly, internally, they’re still battling." "Small gestures like bringing over a cake or helping with the kids – even months later – are profoundly supportive. Share word of our non-profit's existence with women facing similar challenges. We’re here to assist, aiming to be a pillar for others," Avital concludes.