Life as a Jewish Family in Sweden: Navigating Challenges and Embracing Traditions

Abigail Lehrer is an Israeli living in Gävle, Sweden. She shares her experiences and challenges as a Jewish woman in a place where Jewish life is scarce and often difficult.

Is there a special reason you live in Sweden?

“I came here after meeting my ex-husband. But thank God, I later separated from him and became religious. It’s a painful story that still affects my life to this day, and for complicated reasons I cannot leave the country right now. Sweden has become a gilded cage for me.”

Is there a Jewish community where you live?

“Unfortunately, in our city there may be about three Jewish families, and we don’t know them at all. The nearest Jewish community is in Stockholm, and beyond that there is no significant Jewish community north of Stockholm. Sweden has very few Jews. According to community records, there are between 15,000 and 20,000, but not all are Jewish according to halacha. And indeed, it is not easy at all to live in a city without a community, with everything that implies. The main difficulty is that there is no synagogue in our city and it’s impossible to pray with a minyan. We belong to the Jewish community in Stockholm, about a two-hour drive from our city. Usually we meet on holidays and make a joint Passover Seder together. 

Which schools do your children attend?

“Most Jews in Sweden send their children to non-Jewish schools. To the best of my knowledge, there is only one Jewish school in Sweden, in Stockholm. It has classes from kindergarten through sixth grade. After that, there is one high school where you can choose to study in a Jewish class.

“Because we live far from Stockholm, unfortunately we have no way to send our children to the Jewish school. For now our younger children attend the local kindergarten. My older children study in school and at university.”

Do your children know the local language?

“Yes. My children speak English, and also Swedish as their mother tongue.”

How do you manage to get kosher food?

“Throughout Scandinavia there is a law forbidding kosher slaughter, and therefore kosher meat must be imported from outside the country, which costs a lot of money. We therefore don’t eat meat at all, and we simply became vegetarians. Luckily, there are many kosher fish in the waters of Scandinavia, like salmon and similar varieties, so there is no problem obtaining kosher fish.

“In addition, for other products we have an organized list from the Jewish community that states which food products are considered kosher and can be bought in local stores. Of course, it's necessary to check every package carefully for ingredients and make sure it is the exact company listed. In Stockholm there is a shop that sells kosher food, but for us it’s far and not accessible for regular shopping.”

Is there something you can’t get where you live that you would love someone to send you from Israel?

“I would love to receive meat and chicken from Israel — and of course, Bamba…”

What is your daily schedule like?

“We get up at 6:30. I get ready and get the two little ones ready, and I take them to kindergarten at 7:30. Last year the younger one stayed with me all morning and didn’t go to a nanny, because there simply aren’t private nannies here. On the other hand, you can get paid maternity leave here for more than a year — 480 days fully paid, shared with the husband, so you can easily stay with the baby. Now that the younger one is older, he goes to kindergarten together with his brother. Both are in kindergarten until 16:00.

“My job is for an Israeli organization online. When I start working at 8:00 Sweden time, in Israel it’s 9:00. At 12:00 I finish the morning shift and do personal errands. At 16:00 I pick up the kids from kindergarten, and around 17:00 we start preparing dinner. At 19:00 my husband starts getting the kids ready for bed, and I go back to work again until 23:00. I work a split shift.”

What does Shabbat look like for you, and how do you prepare for it?

“On Friday I don’t work, and I dedicate the time to preparing by cleaning the house, organizing, and cooking all the Shabbat food. The children don’t go to kindergarten on Fridays, and my husband helps me and keeps the children busy while I clean.

“Because Sweden is a very northern country close to the Arctic, there are huge differences in sunset and sunrise times. That has a major impact on Shabbat entry and exit times, which change dramatically from season to season: in winter Shabbat comes in very early, already at 14:30 in the afternoon. In contrast, in summer Shabbat comes in very late, sometimes at 23:00 and sometimes even after midnight, because the sun doesn’t set… That’s how it is for us in June.

“According to the time Shabbat begins, we manage our Friday schedule: I work quickly and under a bit of pressure to finish everything before Shabbat. We eat the Friday night meal early, at 17:00. The weather outside is very cold, and we stay at home all Shabbat. In summer, for the children, we eat the Friday night meal in the evening, before candle lighting time. They go to sleep, and only after Shabbat begins do we make Kiddush and eat. On Shabbat day itself we go together for a walking trip to the river or the forest very close to our home.

“On Shabbat we enjoy a lot of quality time with the children. We don’t have guests and we don’t get invited anywhere because there are no Jews here that we know, so we all sit around the Shabbat table and tell the children the content of the weekly Torah portion.”

What is your favorite Shabbat recipe?

“Usually it’s salmon in sauce with potatoes. It’s a Swedish-style dish I learned from the locals.”

Do you feel antisemitism among the non-Jewish neighbors?

“Generally speaking, Sweden is a country with deep, longstanding antisemitism. On the one hand, there are many Muslim refugees who come with intense hatred toward Jews (and also toward Swedes) and want to impose Muslim Sharia law in Sweden. In the southern Swedish city of Malmö, Muslim immigrants have reached about 50 percent of the city’s population, and almost all the Jews were forced to flee for their lives.

“On the other hand, there is a very anti-Semitic party that is the second largest in parliament. It is a far-right party that was built on a former Nazi party, and today it is called SD—Sverige Demokraterna (roughly translated as ‘the Sweden Democrats’). Beyond that, all the other center-left parties are pro-Muslim, anti-Israel, and deeply anti-Semitic. They mainly control the northern cities, so members of the Jewish community in northern Sweden, in Umeå, and even in central Sweden, are very afraid for their lives. There are a few Jews in senior positions in the government, but they have no real power to fight antisemitism. Recently, more Jews are leaving Sweden or moving to the center, to Stockholm.

“Even in our area the situation is not encouraging. If you walk in the street with visible Jewish religious symbols, there is a real fear for your life. Antisemitism is not only felt on the street among random passersby, but also in government offices and in schools — it is deeply ingrained in Swedish society. Until 1960 there was an official government institute operating openly here for race research — meaning racist research based on the Nazis’ racial theory. After 1960 the institute was absorbed into the university in Uppsala, and its central research became ‘genetic’ research, supposedly. Many wrongs were done as a result to Jews, to Roma in Sweden, and especially to Sweden’s indigenous people. To this day the hatred toward Jews is felt here on a daily level and in a painful way, and we live with constant fear.”

Are there laws that openly target Jews?

“Kosher slaughter is forbidden in Sweden, and there are many attempts to stop circumcision. There have been many efforts to prevent that, but it doesn’t help and the situation gets worse every day. For now, circumcision is still permitted under Swedish law, but only up to the age of two months, and only if it is performed by a certified mohel with government approval, and a doctor must also be present at the time of the brit milah. If it is delayed and done after two months, the law requires it to be done by a surgeon in a hospital, not according to halacha. Thank God, there are two mohalim in Sweden — one is a Jewish mohel and doctor in Gothenburg, and the other is a certified mohel who works in the Jewish community in Stockholm. The mohel from Stockholm is the one who circumcised our three sons who were born in Sweden. I also have an older son who was born in Israel, so he was circumcised in the Holy Land easily and joyfully, without any restrictions.”

What is the weather like now where you are?

“Now it’s cold and snowy. Last year was the first winter in the last twenty years that I’ve been here when there wasn’t much snow. Usually in January it’s about minus 10 degrees and there is heavy snow. We’ll see what it will be like this year…”

How do you celebrate the holidays and festivals far from community and family?

“Last Chanukah, because of the spread of COVID, we celebrated alone at home with the little children.

“As for the upcoming Purim, every year the Chabad House in Stockholm organizes a joyful party with a proper Megillah reading. We really love traveling there and joining the celebration with everyone. It’s an important opportunity for the children to meet other children from Jewish families, connect with them, and experience a vibrant and joyful Jewish holiday. Also for Passover, we usually travel to a communal Seder in the Jewish community in Stockholm.

An interesting expression Swedes like to use?

“In northern Sweden, when people agree with what they’re told, instead of nodding they make a loud inward ‘sucking’ whistle with their mouth — a sound like Israelis saying ‘oy’ in surprise while inhaling. In my first year, every time I heard that sound I got scared and thought something terrible had happened, and that was the person’s reaction to what they heard. I asked ‘What happened?’ again and again, until they explained that this sound is like saying ‘yes’ or nodding in agreement, and finally I stopped being alarmed.”

Have you visited tourist sites in Sweden?

“Sweden has many places for tourists, both in the north of the country and in Stockholm. We have traveled to them many times over the years. In northern Sweden there is also a unique ice hotel. I haven’t been there yet, because it’s a very expensive trip, but we hope to get there on a future opportunity, God willing. And beyond the official sites, the most beautiful tours are usually just going out into nature. There is an abundance of magical nature especially in spring and summer: forests, lakes, streams, and of course the sea. The wonders of creation in their full splendor.”

Have you visited Israel? What was your impression?

“Myself and two of my older children lived for a year in Israel, about seven years ago. There is nothing like the Jews in the Holy Land. The mutual responsibility of the Jews in Israel for their fellow Jews is far beyond what is common anywhere else. Even Israelis living in Sweden care for and help other Jews, and they contribute to that mutual responsibility, God willing, seeping into the mentality of the Jews of Sweden as well.”