From Comic Dreams to Spiritual Journeys: A Story of Transformation

When Loss Becomes Purpose

There are moments that reshape a person’s entire direction. Sometimes they come quietly, and sometimes through pain. For comic book artist Natanel Epstein, one such moment arrived during the turbulent years of the Intifada, when tragedy was sadly all too common, but one loss struck especially close to home.

A Friendship That Left a Lasting Mark

As a teenager, Epstein’s family regularly hosted yeshiva students for Shabbat meals. Among them was 18-year-old Yoni Jesner, with whom Epstein formed a close bond. In late 2002, Yoni was killed in a suicide bombing in Tel Aviv while on his way to meet his family.

“I attended his funeral and was deeply moved by the eulogies,” Epstein recalls. “Although I thought I knew Yoni well, I discovered how much he had done for the Jewish community in Scotland. In his pocket they found a note he had written: ‘What did I do this week for the Jewish people? Did I just change my hairstyle, or did I change someone’s life?’ Those words shook me.”

The memory of Yoni and the impact he had made continued to echo long after the funeral.

Rethinking Direction and Purpose

At the time, Epstein dreamed of becoming an international comic book artist. “Drawing was my passion, and I wanted my work to appeal to everyone,” he says. “I was so careful about this that I avoided any symbol that might suggest Judaism, even something as small as a mezuzah in the background.”

Natanel illustrating

After Yoni’s death, those choices began to trouble him.

“I started asking myself whether my goals truly matched what Hashem wanted from me. I realized that chasing fame through comics felt empty. I knew I needed to change direction. Letting go of the characters and stories I had built was extremely difficult.”

Struggle, Prayer, and a New Beginning

Epstein is now 39 and a father of eight. After marrying Bat-El, the young couple moved to a small community. While trying to continue drawing, Epstein worked as a security guard to support his family. Many around him doubted whether art could become a sustainable career.

Natanel and Bat-El Epstein

During this period, a Talmud lesson inspired him to turn to prayer.

“I poured my heart out to Hashem,” he says. “I prayed, ‘Master of the Universe, everyone says this will not work, and even my own heart doubts it. But You can do anything. Please create an opportunity for me.’”

That opportunity arrived in an unexpected way. While working as a security guard at a children’s center, a parent who had heard about his talent suggested he create a weekly comic for a Shabbat newsletter. That small project eventually grew into a six-volume comic series about Jewish holidays, something Epstein describes as the fulfillment of a dream.

Creativity Fueled by Faith

Even after securing publishing opportunities, the struggle did not immediately disappear. “I would sit in front of a blank page for months,” he admits. “I kept turning to Hashem, telling Him I needed His help for ideas.”

Slowly, inspiration began to flow. During this time, his wife, pregnant and on bed rest, scanned and colored his illustrations from home. Shortly afterward, their computer suddenly crashed, but only after all their work had already been saved.

“It felt like clear hashgacha pratit,” Epstein says, meaning he felt the timing was guided from Above.

Bat-El illustrating

Following the success of the series, he was approached to create a children’s comic about Rabbi Mordechai Eliyahu, z’tl. Though hesitant at first, his wife encouraged him to accept the project. From that point on, Epstein committed himself fully to creating meaningful Jewish content through art.

A page of one of Natanel's comics

Passing Meaning to the Next Generation

“Every project begins with prayer,” he explains. “I ask Hashem for ideas. Like manna in the desert, creativity arrives day by day.”

One of his greatest sources of joy is involving his children in his work. Each week, they review his comics together, and those conversations are just as important to him as the drawing itself.

“How do we instill a love for Torah in children?” Epstein asks. “By helping them understand that the Torah is Hashem’s letter to us.”

He often shares this idea through his Shabbat teachings, comparing the depth of Torah learning to discovering hidden beauty in what first appears ordinary. Just as a puzzle or exhibit reveals more the longer you look, the Torah offers endless layers to those willing to explore it.

From Pain to Purpose

Natanel Epstein’s journey reflects a powerful truth: even profound loss can become a catalyst for growth, meaning, and direction. Through faith, perseverance, and humility, he transformed personal tragedy into a life dedicated to uplifting others, one story and one illustration at a time.