Yosef HaTzaddik’s Secret to Inner Calm: How Faith Turns Life’s Ups and Downs into Growth

When we look even briefly at the life of Yosef HaTzaddik, we immediately notice that his years were filled with constant ups and downs. At times he rose to the highest heights, and at other times he was brought down to the lowest depths.

As the beloved son of Yaakov Avinu, there was a period when Yosef learned Torah directly from his father, the Torah that Yaakov had received in the academy of Shem and Ever. Out of his intense love, Yaakov made him a striped tunic, a sign of Yosef’s greatness and importance in his eyes. Yet soon afterward Yosef found himself hated and rejected by his brothers. From there he descended, was humiliated, and was sold as a slave in Egypt. From the heights of honor in his father’s home, Yosef became a lowly servant in a foreign land.

Then again, unexpectedly, this Hebrew slave rose to prominence and authority in one of the most important and respected households in Egypt. His master elevated him, and Yosef became the ruler responsible for everything in the home. His master knew nothing of what was happening there, because he gave Yosef full authority. And then once again, suddenly, and without any wrongdoing, Yosef found himself thrown into the pit of prison. Everything flipped. The very household that had raised him to a position of honor turned around and cast him into jail.

There, at the lowest point, in a closed place with no hope of escape, in one sudden moment Yosef was pulled quickly out of that pit, and he stood before Pharaoh, king of Egypt. Pharaoh ordered that he be dressed in royal garments and appointed him viceroy, ruling over all the land of Egypt, which at that time was the most powerful country in the world.

When we try to imagine how many sharp transitions Yosef experienced in the first forty years of his life, it is difficult to absorb it. And yet, as our Sages explain regarding Yosef, we find that nothing about his conduct changed. As Rashi writes, “He is Yosef who shepherded his father’s sheep, he is Yosef who was in Egypt and became king, and he remained in his righteousness” (Rashi, Shemot 1:5).

The nobility of his character was not affected by his circumstances. He always continued in the straightness of his path and in his complete simplicity, with the calm clarity of the most composed person, never becoming confused by the storms that struck him.

Peace of Mind

By all logic, as a prisoner in an Egyptian jail, Yosef should have collapsed emotionally and broken. Who would have blamed him if he had sat with hunched shoulders, thinking, “Am I dreaming? How did I end up here? This is not where I belong.” From there it would be easy to slide into total despair about the future. “What can I possibly achieve from life here?” And finally to bitter conclusions: “Look at people. What cruelty exists in this world. I am suffering despite my innocence. My life is ruined and worth nothing.”

However, Yosef did not think this way. He did not treat the situation around him as something that defined his life. Yosef remained a whole and pure person, living his integrity from within, and in every situation continuing to do the best he could.

When a person is suddenly appointed ruler over all of Egypt, the shock of such an extreme change can be destructive. The human heart often cannot withstand a shift so dramatic without preparation.

I often tell the story of a man whose uncle, his only support in life, died suddenly. That man lost his desire to live. Then the next day he received a phone call from a lawyer informing him that he was the sole heir to his uncle’s enormous fortune, wealth he never even knew existed. During that phone call, the heir suffered a severe heart attack. Why? Because his heart could not handle such a sudden and extreme reversal.

Changes that are so sharp can overwhelm a person who is not spiritually and emotionally prepared to face sudden opposite realities.

But about Yosef HaTzaddik our Sages expounded the verse: “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, and the Lord will be his trust” (Yirmiyahu 17:7).

Chovot HaLevavot, at the beginning of Shaar HaBitachon, explains the meaning of trust: “The essence of trust is the peace of mind of the one who trusts.”

Yosef HaTzaddik, through the greatness of his trust in God, always lived with peace of mind. He did not lose hope during his descent, and he did not become intoxicated with success during his rise.

Staying Righteous Through Every Rise and Fall

Beyond that, it was not easy for Yosef to remain righteous. Our Sages said that when he went out over the land of Egypt, the daughters of Egypt climbed along the walls to gaze at his beauty. Many women positioned themselves wherever they could to see him, and Yosef closed his eyes and did not look at them.

How did Yosef succeed in remaining righteous and wholesome through all those rises and falls? There was one foundational approach by which Yosef lived, and it brought him success in every event he experienced. This is the approach we will now learn.

The World Is Not a Giant Meaningless Machine of Random Events

The key to Yosef’s success is found in the words of King Shlomo in Kohelet, words most of us know, but that now appear far deeper than we assumed: “For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven” (Kohelet 3:1).

There is a “time” for everything in this world: “A time to be born and a time to die,” “a time to mourn and a time to dance,” and many other times are listed: “a time of war and a time of peace,” “a time to be silent and a time to speak.” Kohelet presents the range of changing life circumstances.

But if the verse is only stating the obvious, what is Kohelet teaching us? We see these things with our own eyes. We do not need Shlomo to tell us that life has changing seasons.

At a simple level, one might explain that Kohelet is advising: act appropriately for the time. Cry at the right time, such as on Tisha B’Av, and rejoice at the right time, such as on Simchat Torah. The human soul contains a wide range of emotions and reactions, and Shlomo teaches us to do the right thing at the right time.

That is true and important, but it is not the main message here. Because Kohelet also says “a time to be born and a time to die.” Can a person choose when to be born and when to die?

We must conclude that Kohelet is teaching something else entirely. He is revealing a fundamental principle of faith.

Everyone knows that God is the Master of the world and guides His creation toward a purpose, until the end of days when the world will reach completion.

Kohelet teaches a deeper dimension: God relates this way to each individual person as well. “For everything there is a season.” God sets times for each individual. Throughout life a person encounters different seasons, each with its own circumstances. Each season is its own test, and each is an opportunity to reach another level of inner completion, the purpose of your life.

This is the correct understanding of Kohelet’s words. “For everything there is a season” means: know that on your life path, there will be a season for every achievement you are intended to attain. Divine Providence will bring you special opportunities to reach every form of growth for which you came into this world.

We must live with faith, seeing that every stage of life, whether it feels pleasant and light or heavy and difficult, is part of the “season” that God has appointed for us. Living with this outlook means living with the power of faith, understanding that life is a chain of opportunities, and for you personally they are excellent opportunities for growth.

All the changes in your life are directed from Above, supervised toward this purpose: to test you, refine you, and continually give you new opportunities. Every time and every situation is a chance to reach a kind of completion you could not reach under different circumstances. The inner completion you can reach in “a time to be born” is not the same completion you can reach in “a time to die.”

Life must not pass with vague and weak faith, with the mistaken belief that the world is a giant meaningless factory of random events, one accident after another. A person who lives that way misses the opportunities.

A New Child in the World

“A time to be born.” When a child is born, do you recognize what a magnificent opportunity this is? The moment of birth is a powerful opportunity for everyone close to it to reach a level of closeness to God and inner completion that cannot be reached in any other moment of life. This is the time to be amazed at the miracle of creation.

How did this happen, this enormous miracle, the most complex object in the universe: a human being. A child is born complete in mind and body, meaning a perfection of billions of cells and countless processes.

Chava did not miss the opportunity. When she saw her first son, she expressed the greatness of the moment and said: “I have acquired a man with the Lord” (Bereishit 4:1). Our Sages taught: “There are three partners in a person: God, his father, and his mother.” In that moment she recognized: I truly created a human being together with God.

If you are not moved by this, if you see it as routine, you missed the opportunity that Providence placed before you in the season of “a time to be born.” Even if you say “Baruch Hashem” but only think about it for a passing second, that is a great loss. “A time to be born” is a season given by God as an opportunity for growth unlike any other.

The Moment of Death as the Peak of Life’s Completion

“And a time to die.” The time of death is not merely a technical collapse of the body. It is the final moment of the life that was given to a person. And that season, those exalted moments when life becomes complete, must be used.

The final day, the final hour, the final minutes, are among the most precious moments a person has in his entire existence. The moment of death is not only part of life just like birth, it is a moment of peak completion.

Many people never internalized this during their lives, and when the time comes they miss the opportunity to die as a true Jew.

They may look back with pain, realizing they did not achieve what they could have. They think about the missed opportunities of their lives. But in doing so, they repeat their mistake one last time, they miss their final opportunity. How tragic.

This season is your only opportunity to “live the death” properly. In the final minutes a person must prepare for meeting God. He must feel regret for what he did wrong and say it verbally. Confession is a Torah commandment. If a person is aware of this before death, he can repent then.

He uses the rarest jewel of creation: free choice, which is still his for a few more minutes. And he uses it to return to God. Then he is forgiven.

Repentance in the final moments of life is one of the true paths of forgiveness. One who repents at the last moment can merit forgiveness and the World to Come.

You cannot always rely on friends for this. People are often afraid to suggest confession to someone near death, because they fear the person will think they have decided he will die.

There are of course surprises. A person who falls ill does not know what will happen, whether he will recover or not.

Someone once visited me and casually mentioned that he was scheduled for a small surgery the next day. Unexpectedly, he died during that surgery. What a painful loss of opportunity.

It is told about Rabbi Yisrael Salanter that even in his last moments, when he felt his time was short, his mind remained focused on deep counsel about acts of kindness. In his final illness he stayed in Konigsberg and a helper was hired to serve him. On his last day, Rabbi Yisrael suddenly spoke to that simple man about people’s fear of being alone with a deceased person. He explained that this fear is foolish, since the dead cannot harm anyone. A few hours later he passed away, and no one was in the room except that helper. In retrospect it became clear that this had been Rabbi Yisrael’s intention, even in his final moments, to protect the helper from fear and suffering. This is what “a time to die” looks like for a master of Mussar.

Even the simplest person can use the season of “a time to die” to reach the highest levels. He can die as Rabbi Akiva died.

Twice a day you say: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might” (Devarim 6:5). Then the moment comes, and you face the only opportunity you may ever have to fulfill these words in their fullest sense.

In Berachot, Rabbi Akiva explains “with all your soul” to mean even if He takes your soul. Even when my life is taken from me, I still love Him. When a person accepts God’s judgment and thinks, God knows what He is doing. He knows what is truly good for me. He is compassionate and gracious, and I love Him even now, even if He is about to take my soul, this is the death of the holy, even if it happens in a hospital bed rather than by fire or stones.

We must be ready at every moment to succeed in the season God places us in. If you are on an operating table, you should think: this is the season God prepared for me now, and I will make this season into success in my life. You confess, and you add: I love You, God. In that you fulfill the commandment of loving God, no matter what happens, even if life is taken. This is how a person uses “the time to die” while still alive.

Many people shut their minds to this and are unaware that in these moments a special opportunity has been given that can complete an entire lifetime. They lie suffering and simply wait for it to end. But the believer who longs for true success uses even his final moments. The wise person uses his time of death, and the great opportunity of death.

In the final minutes of life, if used correctly, a person can gain spiritual wealth so great that he did not manage to gain it throughout all his years.

Do Not Miss Opportunities

This is the instruction of Kohelet. Do not miss any opportunity in life. There are many seasons between birth and death, throughout all our days. No event and no time is meaningless. Everything is for a purpose. Life is filled with opportunities. Each season gives you possibilities that another season cannot give.

Your relationship with your parents, your relationship with your siblings while you all still live under one roof, is a wonderful opportunity for completion. It is a test and a challenge to build character through correct family conduct. But it is only for a limited time.

Later that opportunity passes forever when you marry and leave your parents’ home. Then a new test begins. It is not simple to be a spouse, and it is not intended to be simple. Working on traits, overcoming weaknesses, even when you feel you should be the one leading, are part of the growth.

The test of your relationship with your spouse’s parents and family is a real test. The patience required of a father in educating his child is an incredible achievement. The opportunity for a mother to be the giver within her family is a season of growth that never existed for her before.

Someone once told me, if only I had a different kind of wife, I would succeed. The true meaning of those words is a lack of faith. The same is true of a woman who complains, if only I had a different mother in law. She does not realize she was brought into this situation intentionally so she could work on herself and become the best daughter in law she can be. That is her success. The mother in law, too, is expected to become the best mother in law she can be. These relationships are sent by God to give us opportunities to draw out something greater from ourselves.

Whenever something close to you is not to your liking, or things do not go according to your expectations, the instinctive inner reaction is often: this is beneath my dignity, I cannot deal with a person like that, I cannot do things like that, or I do not like doing things like that. However, this is the reaction of a fool. A fool finds flaws in the world, is unhappy with his lot, and complains at every stage.

Scripture says about this: “The eyes of the fool are at the ends of the earth.” The fool’s eyes always look far away. My happiness is over there. If only I were in that place, in that family, in that yeshiva. These feelings are the sure sign of a person wasting his life and missing it.

Yaakov Reached a Completion in Lavan’s House

Imagine a worker whose employer is a skilled liar who tries to reduce his pay with excuses. You did not work hard enough this month, I need to deduct for the hour you were late, I never promised to pay you that much, we said we would discuss it etc.

Naturally the worker could become discouraged and say, there is no one to talk to, the less I work for him, the better.

Was there anyone like Lavan the Aramean? Yaakov said, “Your father deceived me and changed my wages ten times.” Our Sages explain that Lavan went back on his word at least a hundred times, each time finding a clever argument to change what Yaakov deserved.

How did Yaakov respond? He became the most devoted guardian, a model of faithful service. The Rambam writes that a worker is obligated to work with all his strength, for Yaakov the righteous said, “With all my strength I served your father.” Therefore he received reward even in this world, as it says, “And the man prospered exceedingly.”

The Torah describes it: “By day the heat consumed me, and the frost by night, and sleep fled from my eyes.” And more: “That which was torn by beasts I did not bring to you. I bore the loss.” I never returned to you an injured animal. Every time something happened, I paid from my own pocket.

Yaakov was not required to pay. A paid guardian is exempt from unavoidable accident. It was not his fault. He did more than his duty, and went beyond the letter of the law to be faithful. This is a life model.

How did Yaakov do this? Not because he did not feel the injustice. He said clearly to Rachel and Leah, “Your father deceived me and changed my wages ten times, but God did not allow him to harm me.”

It troubled him deeply, but he knew: God placed me here because He wants me to do something good in this situation. If I have a father in law and an employer like Lavan, it is for a purpose, so that I achieve something in life I could never achieve in any other opportunity. And he did it. He understood that this season was one of the many seasons God prepared specifically for him. It was there, in Padan Aram, far from home, that Yaakov reached a completion he could not have reached anywhere else.

Understanding Yosef Through Kohelet

This lesson from Kohelet opens the gate to understanding Yosef’s success. The Torah testifies about Yosef several times that “God was with him.” That does not only mean that Yosef felt God protecting him through everything. It means that God was actively present, bringing him through these changing situations, and Yosef was fully aware of that at every moment. In every situation he entered, he knew God was with him, standing beside him, placing him in these specific conditions as an opportunity to become complete.

Through Yosef’s deep faith, knew that these were not random events or accidents. Yosef HaTzaddik never asked why did this happen, or why am I in these conditions. He never lost the deep understanding of the great truth that there are no random accidents in life.

Instead of becoming bitter in the hardest moments, and losing his head at the peak of success, he knew God was testing him. Therefore at every stage he did what that stage demanded of him. A person who knows that there is a season for everything and that God is with him understands that every situation is a test and an opportunity to rise.

Even in a situation that looked hopeless and despairing, Yosef did not lose his balance, because he knew God was with him and was guiding him intentionally into this specific event.

In his father’s home, as Yaakov’s beloved son, he had one opportunity for a certain kind of character perfection. He needed to handle his father’s love properly alongside the other brothers, carry the jealousy of his older brothers, and not allow the glory of the striped tunic to affect his traits. That was powerful inner work, a unique chance to perfect character. When he was sold as a slave in Egypt, it became another opportunity.

When Potiphar’s wife set her eyes on him, Yosef could have told himself that nothing mattered. His life was already ruined. He could sink to the low standards of slaves, with no responsibility, but that is not what he thought. Yosef’s only thought was, how can I do this? God is with me.

When the test arrived, it was terrifying. “And it came to pass that she spoke to Yosef day after day.” Every day. The Talmud says that the clothes she wore for him in the morning she did not wear at night, and the clothes she wore at night she did not wear in the morning. She changed clothing twice a day to entice him. On one side she promised him everything, and on the other she threatened his life. And it was not an empty threat. In those days a master could kill a slave without answering to anyone. He could torture him to death. The Torah does not elaborate, but that does not mean it was easy. It was terrible. And yet Yosef used that season. From that terrifying test he created one of the greatest heroic chapters in human history. He became a precedent and example for generations.

When Yosef was thrown into the pit of prison, that was another test. Instead of becoming depressed and bitter from the unimaginable disaster, to rot and die in prison, Yosef responded with extraordinary inner strength. Even there he worked to draw out as much growth as possible and to use that season. And when he was appointed ruler over all of Egypt, he knew that this too was only because God was now placing him in a different season of life.

In every situation and under every condition, Yosef knew he was being tested to achieve what he could not have achieved before, and would never again be able to achieve afterward. Each season offered a unique chance to perfect character and conduct in a way that was possible only in that time.

Nothing was random or an accident. Everything was planned precisely this way. Because Yosef understood the great foundation of “for everything there is a season,” he remained Yosef HaTzaddik in every situation.

A person who recognizes that the struggles and tests around him were sent deliberately as opportunities is the one who holds life firmly and draws the best from every moment.

This is how all the great people of Israel lived. Their lives were filled with many seasons, and many opportunities for success. They always held the basic belief that God rules everything that happens to them, and that under God’s rule every stage and detail of life is included.

The Torah wrote Yosef’s story for us, so we would place before our eyes the example of the child, the son, the brother, the slave, the prisoner, and the ruler, whose faith gave him everything he needed to stand in every stage of life and draw the best from every situation.

Drawing the best from every situation means bringing out the best of yourself, and this is why Yosef succeeded in everything he did.

We desperately need this example today. We constantly hear people saying, if only this, or if only that. God places you in every situation as a test and watches how you respond, how you use it, it will be the foundation of success in life.

A person who lives with this faith will not be shocked by changing circumstances, because he knows that this is how life is meant to be. Life is meant to be a range of events, tests, and experiences, and they did not come by accident. They were sent deliberately to your path, to your door, for your sake. God arranges your seasons to make you a great person.

With this faith you will not lose your inner peace. Instead of collapsing under life’s events, you will use them in the best way and achieve the greatest success in life.

God Directs My Life and Guides My Steps

There is no better time to remind yourself of this great foundation than during the morning blessings you say each day. When you say the blessing “Who prepares the steps of man,” reflect: God, You guide every step of my life. You think: God, You are the One who places me in every situation I find myself in. Everything is from You, the One who guides my life.

A person must accept the different seasons God provides as steps on a ladder to climb upward. Every situation is sent from Heaven as an opportunity. The opportunities are endless because the seasons of your life are endless, as a son, as a brother, as a student, as a friend, as a mother, as a daughter in law, as a neighbor.

The most successful person is the one who uses his years fully, his months, his weeks, and every day of his life. He is the wisest of all, because he understands that in the end, his life of many seasons and many opportunities will come to an end. He uses every opportunity for growth and elevation in this world, and he will merit success in fulfilling his purpose in life.