A Woman’s Unique Strength in Marriage: Faith, Partnership, and Building a Resilient Home

Marriage is built by two people who are not identical, yet equal in their importance to building the home and in the place each deserves within it. A relationship is intended to be a space where the beauty and goodness of both partners can be expressed. The positive qualities of each spouse form the wondrous mosaic of marriage. Part of that mosaic also includes their weaknesses, as each partner tries to strengthen the other in areas that are difficult.

The Unique Strength of the Woman

Our Sages describe a powerful debate that took place between Amram, the leader of the generation, and his daughter Miriam: “Amram was the leader of the generation. When he saw that the wicked Pharaoh decreed, ‘Every male child that is born shall be cast into the Nile’ (Shemot 1:22), he said, ‘We are laboring in vain’ — there is no point in having children if they will be killed anyway. He arose and divorced his wife. All of Israel followed his example and divorced their wives. His daughter said to him: ‘Father, your decree is harsher than Pharaoh’s! Pharaoh decreed only against the males, but you decreed against both males and females. Pharaoh decreed only in this world, but you decreed in this world and the World to Come. Pharaoh is wicked — perhaps his decree will be fulfilled, perhaps not — but you are righteous, and your decree will certainly be fulfilled.’ He arose and took his wife back, and all of Israel followed him and took their wives back.” (Sotah 12a)

Because of Miriam’s words, the redeemer of Israel — Moshe Rabbeinu, was later born.

Amram was a righteous man and the spiritual leader of his generation. Faced with the horrific reality of infanticide, he made what seemed like a responsible, halachic decision: to stop having children. Out of that reasoning, he divorced his wife Yocheved, fully aware that others would follow his example — which they did. What a terrifying moment for the Jewish people.

And yet, his young daughter Miriam stood beside him and spoke words that pierced the heart. She argued that his decision was even more devastating than Pharaoh’s decree. She presented three claims:

1. His decree would prevent the birth of daughters as well as sons.

2. Parents would suffer not only in this world, but also in the World to Come, for failing to fulfill God’s commandment to have children.

3. Pharaoh’s decree might not endure, since he was wicked, but Amram’s decree surely would, because he was righteous.

Did Amram, the leader of the generation, not understand these points? Is it possible that he had not weighed every angle carefully?

Our Sages reveal to us the woman’s unique strength. Amram made a correct, rational, and halachic calculation based on the harsh reality of Pharaoh’s decree. Miriam, however, approached him not merely with logic, but with the distinctive power of faith that is often found in women. Women possess the ability to believe — deeply and unwaveringly, that God will redeem us from distress. Even when logic suggests that the situation is hopeless, a woman can bring her inner faith and inspire those around her to believe that salvation will come, even from something as terrifying as Pharaoh’s decree.

A Woman's Faith

Each spouse brings unique strengths into the relationship. Broadly speaking, a woman often has the special ability to “keep the family standing.” Families encounter challenges of all types — financial struggles, educational issues, marital tensions, and more. At times, the situation can feel complicated and overwhelming.

In such moments, a woman can draw on her unique gift of faith, and infuse the home with a renewed sense of strength, hope, and trust. She can help everyone see the situation through a more positive lens and believe in their ability to emerge from the crisis, even stronger than before. To do so, she herself must recognize and appreciate her unique strengths as a woman.

If each spouse focuses on what they can contribute to the home — rather than placing responsibility for change on the other, the beautiful mosaic of marriage emerges, built from the unique qualities of both partners.

From the book “Together Through the Weekly Torah Portions” by Moshe Ilan, social worker and marriage counselor.