The Secret of Happy Couples: Just Give a Tip

You’re sitting in a restaurant. The food is excellent, and the service is pleasant, attentive, and warm. If you respect yourself, you’ll leave a nice tip for the waiter or waitress. It’s human. It’s polite. It uplifts the person who served you and acknowledges their effort. After all, they worked hard to make sure you enjoyed your experience and left satisfied. And yes, they usually expect to receive something in return. If the tip is generous, even better.

The Secret of Happy Couples

Interestingly, when we meet a happy couple, we often ask, “What’s your secret?” or “Give us a tip for a successful relationship.” Their answers usually include things like giving, mutual respect, understanding, knowing when to give space, investing in the relationship, compliments, and appreciation. And they’re right. Building a strong relationship takes effort. It’s a process, and it’s ongoing work.

So here is my simple tip to you:
Just give a tip.

Your partner subconsciously expects to be noticed. No one wants to be taken for granted. In daily life, even in the most ordinary routines, your spouse invests time, energy, and heart for your sake, out of love and partnership. Doesn’t that deserve a tip too?

And not just any tip, a generous one.

A kind word.
A sincere thank you.
A gesture of affection.
A surprising text.
A small note, chocolate, flower, or thoughtful gift.

Anything that communicates one message clearly: I see you. I appreciate you. I have not gotten used to you.

The Power of Feeling Seen

Think about how powerful that can be. Feeling seen and valued creates real happiness. It gives strength during long, exhausting days. It motivates us to keep giving, because we know our efforts matter. It’s like the neighborhood baker years ago who would smile and say, “Thank you, come every day.” And we really did come back, again and again.

We naturally return to places where we feel respected and appreciated. The same is true in marriage.

Daily life is full of repetitive, demanding tasks. Many couples divide responsibilities: one works, one manages the home, both care for the children. Over time, it’s easy to fall into a mindset of “I do my part, you do yours.” But when your partner occasionally acknowledges you, thanks you, notices you, suddenly everything feels lighter. You perform your responsibilities with more joy and warmth.

Yes, in a way, we are all “service providers” in daily life. But marriage is far more than just functioning. It’s about being seen by a loving partner, feeling valued, respected, and cared for. What more could the heart need?

Tehila Gamliel is a couples consultant at the Family Peace Department of Hidabroot.