Can You Stop Being Jewish? A Rabbi’s Surprising Answer to an Atheist

Sagiv writes: “Hello. I need your help. I was raised in a traditional home, had a brit milah and a bar mitzvah, but I never believed in religion or any form of faith. Today I’m 34, and I would say I’m a complete atheist. I have no desire to be buried in a Jewish cemetery (I will state this explicitly in my will), and I married a non-Jewish woman in a civil ceremony in Cyprus.

“My question is, am I officially considered non-Jewish simply because I left the path, or do I need some form, document, or special permission in order to no longer be Jewish in an official sense?

“Many thanks for your help with this unusual question.”

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Rabbi Aharon Moss, a teacher of Kabbalah and Judaism in Sydney, Australia, and rabbi of the Nefesh community in Bondi Beach, responded with the following surprising reply:

“Dear Sagiv, I would very much like to help you, but it seems to me there is nothing that can be done.

“According to your description, you have done everything in your power to renounce your Jewishness: in practice, you do not observe Jewish tradition; in belief, you are an atheist; in family life, you married a non-Jew, so your children will not be Jewish; and even regarding burial, you are determined not to be buried in a Jewish cemetery,” Rabbi Moss explains. “One might think that all of this would be enough to certify your non-Jewish status.

“But no! For some reason, you are still not satisfied. You still feel Jewish! So Jewish, in fact, that you feel you need official permission in order to be non-Jewish!

“And so, as an atheist, where do you turn to solve your problem? A doctor? A psychiatrist? The civil officiant who married you? No, no… you turn to a rabbi!”

Rabbi Moss explains that there was once a child who ran away from home, but in the end only ran around the building, because his parents had told him never to cross the street alone.

“I’m sorry, Sagiv — there’s nothing that can be done. You are Jewish just like Moshe our teacher, Benjamin Netanyahu, or the Chief Rabbi of Israel!

“In fact,” Rabbi Moss adds, “it seems to me that being Jewish is the most dominant factor in your identity — so dominant that it even affects where you want to be buried! (After all, why would an atheist care where he is buried?)”

“Sagiv,” Rabbi Moss concludes, “Judaism is not a belief, a feeling, a matter of persuasion, or a lifestyle. It is an existential state. It is a fact of being. We can celebrate it or fight it — but it will always be there. So why not celebrate it?”