Understanding the Divorce Epidemic: How to Safeguard Your Marriage

A friend from years ago told me, “You wouldn’t believe what’s happening at our workplace. It’s a complete marital breakdown.”

She worked at a highly respected company, well known throughout Israel. What struck me most was the realization that education, success, and social status do not necessarily protect morality, loyalty, or commitment to family life.

When there is no inner accountability and no sense of being seen by something higher, boundaries begin to collapse.

Many people today are deeply connected to social media. A married woman may have hundreds of followers who eagerly like her photos and comments. A married man receives constant validation from online interactions. Few stop to consider how many homes have been quietly destroyed in this environment.

A British study published in 2012 found that in thirty percent of divorce petitions filed that year, social media was cited as a contributing factor. Research by Dr. Russell Clayton of the University of Missouri similarly found a clear link between frequent social media use and increased marital conflict leading to separation.

Almost everyone believes, “It won’t happen to me.” But those who fell did not plan to fall. The collapse rarely begins dramatically. It begins with emotional distance at home, combined with the presence of an attentive online “friend” who listens, validates, and slowly fills a void.

Additional studies show that social media increases jealousy, weakens communication between spouses, and consumes time that should belong to family life. Dr. Asher Idan described it succinctly: social media brings distant people closer and drives close people further apart.

One has to ask honestly how many homes might still be intact if this tool did not exist, and how much peace there is in a home where each spouse knows the other is not living emotionally elsewhere.

Boundaries Are Protection, Not Limitation

The risks to marriage are not limited to social media. The workplace can also become a danger zone when boundaries are blurred. A God-fearing person understands the importance of maintaining clear emotional and interpersonal limits with colleagues of the opposite gender. Politeness and professionalism are essential. Personal familiarity is not.

No wife would feel comfortable knowing her husband is sharing emotional conversations over coffee with another woman. No husband would feel at peace knowing his wife casually says to a male colleague, “Let’s grab a coffee sometime.” Yet this behavior has become normalized in many environments.

We are human beings, not robots. Courtesy is necessary. Respect is important. But emotional closeness belongs inside marriage, not outside it.

A Torah-oriented life does not restrict relationships, it protects them. It preserves the sanctity of marriage and the exclusivity of emotional connection.

Guarding the Eyes and Guarding the Heart

The Torah commands a person to guard their eyes and their heart. This is not merely a technical commandment but a profound psychological truth. When a person avoids constant exposure to external temptation, their spouse remains the most beautiful and most emotionally significant person in their world.

Comparisons are destructive. When they are eliminated, appreciation deepens. Loyalty strengthens. Desire is preserved within the marriage rather than scattered outward.

A friend once described life with Torah in two words: quality of life.
That definition resonates deeply.

There is a unique peace in a home built on boundaries, responsibility, and spiritual awareness. Being married to someone who lives with values and self-discipline is not a burden. It is one of life’s greatest gifts.

Building the Home Begins with Building the Self

The Talmud teaches that a person’s match is aligned with who they are. This means the work begins long before marriage. The single years are not merely a waiting room but a preparation period. A time to grow, refine character, and build inner depth.

Spiritual growth does not stop once marriage begins. It continues throughout life. But when a person enters marriage already striving upward, the foundation is stronger.

If you are married, the most powerful way to influence your spouse is not through pressure but through personal growth. The Rambam explains that human beings are naturally influenced by the character of those around them. When you elevate yourself, you create an environment that gently invites growth in the other.

Real change begins from within. And when it does, it radiates outward into the home, into the marriage, and into the future of the family.