Feeling Drained in Marriage? Here’s Why Hope Still Exists

Mrs. Levy, a woman in her forties, contacted the counseling department at Hidabroot. Married for 18 years, she feels that something in her relationship has reached its limit, and she is exhausted from trying to continue.
“I feel despair and frustration. I’m not sure there’s anything left to fix. I need help,” she said.

There Is No Such Thing as Hopeless

First and foremost, it is important to remember that “there is no despair in the world” is not merely a slogan. It is a way of life. It is a perspective that promotes growth and success in relationships, parenting, finances, health, and more. We firmly believe that there are no unsuccessful couples, only couples who lack proper guidance. With the right direction, counseling, and support, marriage can become one of the most beautiful experiences in life.

In every relationship, there exists something like a bank account, an emotional bank. Every negative experience functions as a withdrawal, while every positive, strengthening interaction serves as a deposit. For a relationship to thrive over time, the balance must remain positive. Ideally, there should be at least five emotional deposits for every one withdrawal.

Why Investment Creates Connection

There is a story about a man named David who found himself in financial difficulty but needed a car to get to work. He purchased an old vehicle for 2,000 shekels. Only a week later, the first breakdown occurred, costing him several hundred shekels in repairs. Two weeks later, another mechanical issue emerged, requiring more money. A month later, the car broke down again, and eventually, the cost of repairs exceeded the original purchase price.

A close friend said to him, “David, how long will you tolerate this? Don’t you see that this car is a bottomless pit? Just sell it.”
David looked at him in disbelief and replied, “Now you tell me to sell it? After everything I’ve invested in it? I’m already emotionally attached to this car.”

In a similar way, when a person raises a pet, invests time and care, and nurtures it, an emotional bond naturally develops.

If investment in a car or a pet can create attachment, it is only logical that when we invest in our spouse, we deepen love, connection, and commitment.

Seeking the Right Guidance

Of course, every situation requires an individual diagnosis. Often, the difficulty stems from distorted thinking that leads to harmful behaviors. At times, we misinterpret our spouse’s actions. In other cases, we unknowingly repeat patterns we observed in our parents’ relationship. That is why it is essential to identify the true roots of the struggle and to seek appropriate guidance from a qualified counselor who can, with divine assistance, provide practical tools for building a strong and lasting bond.