Can Love Survive Financial Stress? How to Protect Your Marriage

"We are a married couple in our thirties, and due to financial pressure, we experience frequent arguments and tension. Is it possible to maintain love in such a situation? How can we prevent a heavy atmosphere at home and live in peace?"

Our sages taught us about the immense importance of kindness and respect between spouses. The Gemara states (Bava Metzia 59a):
“A person should always be careful with the honor of his wife, for blessing dwells in a person’s home only because of his wife, as it is said: ‘And Hashem was good to Abraham for her sake.’”
For this reason, Rava instructed the people of Mechoza: “Honor your wives, so that you may prosper.”

From these words, two fundamental principles emerge.
First, a person is obligated to honor their spouse.
Second, blessing does not rest in the home except through that honor.

This raises a profound question. Why is blessing dependent on the way a husband honors his wife? Is a person unable to become a vessel for blessing on their own?

Honor Creates Spiritual Blessing

Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe zt”l explains (Alei Shur, Vol. 1) that honor is not merely good manners. Honor means recognizing and revealing the true value of another person. When one honors a Torah scholar, they are honoring the Torah itself. And our sages teach: “Who is honored? One who honors others” (Pirkei Avot 4:1).

When a person genuinely honors others, something deep happens within their soul. They become refined, elevated, and worthy of respect themselves. Their inner world becomes a vessel for blessing.

Applied to marriage, this teaches us that honoring one’s spouse is not only an ethical duty but a spiritual process that elevates both partners and allows blessing to dwell within their home.

Respect Is the Foundation of Love

The commandment to “be careful with the honor of your wife” means more than respectful behavior. It means recognizing her value, appreciating her qualities, and giving her emotional significance in the relationship. Through this, the husband himself rises, as both partners become more connected and complete together.

Respect must be expressed not only through actions but through emotional communication. A spouse must feel valued, appreciated, and genuinely seen. When this occurs, the home becomes a place where blessing naturally settles.

This principle applies equally to both partners.

The Rambam codifies this idea with striking clarity (Laws of Marriage 15:19):
“The sages commanded that a person should honor his wife more than himself and love her as himself.”

Notably, the Rambam places honor before love. This teaches us a practical truth about building a home. Love grows on the foundation of respect. Without honor, love weakens. With deep respect, love becomes strong, stable, and enduring.

When each spouse recognizes the virtues of the other, gives them space, dignity, and appreciation, the relationship becomes vibrant and resilient even under financial stress.

Love Can Survive Financial Strain

Financial hardship can create pressure, but it does not have to destroy love. When respect remains intact, when appreciation continues, when communication is grounded in dignity, the relationship can withstand external challenges.

In fact, many couples emerge stronger when they learn to prioritize emotional connection over material circumstances.

Rabbi Daniel Pinchasov is a lecturer, marriage counselor, and psychotherapist.