Keeping the Spark Alive: 7 Tips for Long-Lasting Love

Young couples who have just entered the bond of marriage often wonder how to preserve the good connection that exists at the beginning of their journey for days and years to come. This comes from the natural understanding that as time goes by, the bond can sometimes wear thin.

Studies show that what characterizes happy couples is the shared daily effort to nurture their relationship. Below are key areas that can spark love and partnership.

Daily Habits That Strengthen the Bond

1. Taking a relaxed moment together at the end of the day to share experiences from the past day creates care and deep closeness. Each partner shares how their day went and what events occurred, including both positive and less favorable moments. This sharing, even about everyday matters, fosters involvement and builds a common emotional foundation.

2. Staying in touch even in the middle of the day shows that even while occupied with other activities, you are thinking of each other. Short messages such as “How did the test go?” “How are you feeling?” or “Thank you for the nice sandwich you made!” can genuinely brighten your partner’s day.

3. To feel stability in the relationship, it is important to mutually update one another about return times from activities that take place outside regular work or study hours, such as meetings with friends, courses, or lectures. Keeping each other informed shows respect, conveys care, and reinforces the idea that your plans affect your partner’s day as well.

4. Setting boundaries is essential. This means recognizing that certain things belong only to the couple and should not be shared with others. Not everything a husband says, thinks, or feels needs to be shared by the wife with her mother, neighbor, or friend. Likewise, a wife’s actions should not be documented and shared with her husband’s friends or family. Maintaining boundaries protects privacy between partners and strengthens trust.

5. It is important to acknowledge each positive action of your partner meaningfully and not take it for granted. Compliments should be specific and sincere, explaining why they are deserved. For example: “It was so beautiful how you calmed Yossi. He was crying for a while and I tried to soothe him for half an hour with no success, and then you came and with your special approach managed to calm him within minutes.”

6. Avoid criticism and instead express your needs, desires, and feelings. Any criticism, even when framed as constructive, can easily be experienced as hurtful. Therefore, it is better to clarify needs by speaking in “I” language: “I feel,” “I need,” “I want,” rather than “You never do this” or “You always do that.” Since this form of expression communicates a personal need, and partners naturally want to improve each other’s wellbeing, they are more likely to respond with willingness and care.

7. Even when there is disagreement, it is essential to accept your partner as they are and help them feel appreciated and loved. It is important to recognize that your partner may think differently from you, and despite that, you have a responsibility to respect their opinions, wishes, and feelings, and to take them seriously, even when they may seem minor to you.

Rabbi Daniel Pinchasov is a lecturer, marriage consultant, and psychotherapist.