Should We Have More Children? A Jewish Perspective on Large Families

Today, many parents wrestle with the question of whether to expand their family. Some want to ease the daily load of caring for more children. Others fear the financial pressure, the potential impact on a career, or the worry that they will not be able to give each child the material standard they hoped for. Some even feel awkward walking in public with more than two or three children due to the social expectations around them.

Much of the deepest joy in life in general and family life in particular for parents as a couple and for the children themselves is often found specifically in a home where many brothers and sisters grow up together.

A Personal Shift: From Criticism to Appreciation

Attorney Oren Rosenstein, a journalist and mediator who wrote about pregnancy and birth from a husband’s point of view, once admitted he used to look negatively at parents who had five children in rapid succession.

He described how he once assumed such parents had no ambitions, career, or hobbies, and he worried about whether children would get individual attention or have what they need.

Then he described the reversal. In his words, adding siblings often eases behavioral issues in a spoiled older child, creates a lively home, and allows children to entertain one another. He also notes a practical reality: children close in age may compress the years of sleeplessness, while large gaps can stretch the exhaustion across decades. He adds that hand me downs reduce costs and can build a healthy sense of togetherness and learning to live with what you have.

He also argues that becoming a parent at a younger age can have advantages, allowing for more physical energy, sometimes fewer career pressures at that stage, and grandparents who are still strong enough to help.

His reflections are thoughtful, but from a Jewish perspective, the picture can be even broader and deeper.

The Gift Children Receive That Money Cannot Buy

Parents who fear they cannot provide maximum material conditions for every child should remember that children gain real life social skills when they grow up with multiple siblings.

In a home with many children, they learn daily how to share space and resources, consider others and yield when appropriate, give and care for younger siblings, stand up for themselves wisely without harming others, and take responsibility.

Older children often learn how to help with babies and young children, under parental guidance. This can become a valuable, maturing preparation for their own future family life.

In many cases, children raised in this kind of environment develop with a natural joy of life, emotional resilience, practical wisdom, and healthy self confidence.

A common modern assumption says that to give children the best, each child needs maximum privacy and maximum personal ownership, such as a private room with personal equipment used only by them.

However, a child who grows up with everything individualized may struggle later with sharing, giving, and cooperating. Meanwhile, children who grow up sharing a room, sometimes even using bunk beds or other shared arrangements, often become more socially skilled and adaptable. Over time, that can help them succeed not only in friendships but also in marriage, parenting, and even business relationships.

The Benefits for Parents and Marriage

It is frequently observed that parents who continue raising younger children even after older children have grown often remain more youthful in their spirit. The ongoing responsibility and the need to stay emotionally and practically engaged can keep parents energetic and refreshed compared to peers whose children are all grown and independent.

Many such parents also project a calmer inner confidence, even outside the home, because the family itself provides a deep sense of meaning and fullness.

In many large families, the presence of younger children in the home can also help preserve a sense of partnership and shared mission between husband and wife, even through the natural ups and downs of life.

These parents often become more balanced and skilled in childrearing over time simply because they gain experience across different ages, personalities, and situations. There are homes where a mother is already a grandmother, yet still raising young children, with a level of confidence and calm built from years of practice.

When the younger children grow into teens and some older children even marry, many women describe an immense sense of fulfillment in continuing to give life and build their family. Many testify that no career provides the same depth of meaning and completion.

This is not said to diminish professional life, but highlights a kind of fulfillment that many mothers report as uniquely powerful.

Old Age Looks Different

A difficult truth is that parents with only two children can find themselves very lonely in old age.

The burden of visiting, helping, and supporting aging parents falls on only two people who are already busy with their own families and responsibilities. If one child lives far away, or if family dynamics complicate access, the parents may be left without consistent support. If tragedy strikes and one child is no longer alive, the loneliness can become extreme.

In contrast, parents of seven, eight, or ten children who raised their family with Jewish values often feel the reality of the verse, “Those who sow in tears will reap in joy” (Tehillim 126:5).

When there are many children and grandchildren, the responsibility does not crush a single person, but spreads naturally across the family, and it can be carried with love rather than resentment.

The same is true during hospitalizations in old age. The difference between having two adult children and having eight or ten adult children can be the difference between being alone for long stretches and almost always having a loved one nearby.

The Wisdom of Thinking Ahead

Many young couples focus heavily on short term comfort in the early years of marriage and not many live by the teaching, “Who is wise? One who sees what will be born (the future)” (Tamid 32a).

They panic at the idea of raising five or seven children, and miss the reality that siblings close in age naturally occupy one another. Older children play with younger ones, and at a certain stage they can even help responsibly in age appropriate ways under a mother’s direction.

When a home is educated toward joyful partnership, older boys and girls often help naturally with household needs, and that cooperation itself becomes training for their future homes.

A Torah View: Building the World and Hastening Redemption

The prophet describes God as One who created the world not for emptiness but “to be inhabited” (Yeshayahu 45:18). The Talmud applies this verse to underscore the value of continuing to build life in the world, even beyond the minimum obligation (see Megillah 27a, Pesachim 88b, Yevamot 62a, as cited in the original text).

Chazal teach, “The son of David will not come until all the souls are completed in a body” (Yevamot 63b). In that view, every additional child is not only a personal blessing but also part of a larger historical movement.

A large family can be a powerful engine of joy, resilience, life skills, and long term emotional security.

From a Jewish perspective, it can also be part of a national responsibility and a spiritual mission: strengthening the Jewish people, fulfilling “to be inhabited” (Yeshayahu 45:18), and hastening redemption as taught in the Gemara (Yevamot 63b).