Mishloach Manot Explained: Laws, Meaning, and Practical Guidelines for Purim

A person is obligated to send his fellow two portions of two different foods on Purim, as it is written: “And sending portions, one person to another.”

The reason for this mitzvah is that by sending a gift and offering to one’s fellow, a person expresses feelings of love and affection toward him, planting love, brotherhood, and peace in the other’s heart. As the verse says, “As water reflects a face, so the heart of one person reflects another.” In this way, we demonstrate the opposite of the words of the wicked Haman, who said, “There is one people, scattered and divided,” implying division of hearts, God forbid.
(Manot HaLevi by Rabbi Shlomo HaLevi Alkabetz)

Another reason is that there are people who lack means and are modest in their conduct, who would be embarrassed to extend their hand and accept charity in order to prepare a proper Purim meal of food and drink. When food is sent to them respectfully and with dignity as mishloach manot, they will not be ashamed, and they will be able to celebrate the Purim meal properly. (Terumat HaDeshen, 117)

Increasing One’s Sending

From a strict legal standpoint, one mishloach manot is sufficient, as it says: “And sending portions, one person to another.” Nevertheless, one who sends more is praiseworthy, for he increases peace and brotherhood among Israel. Our Sages said: “The Holy One, blessed be He, found no vessel that holds blessing for Israel other than peace.” Through unity among the Jewish people, God annuls harsh and evil decrees.

Members of the Household

Adult members of the household who have reached the age of mitzvot are obligated in mishloach manot and should therefore take care to fulfill the mitzvah themselves. However, strictly speaking, a father may include his wife and household members in the mishloach manot he sends, and they thereby fulfill their obligation.

It is also good for younger children who have reached the age of education (around five or six years old, depending on the child) to send portions to their friends.

Details of the Mitzvah

Below are the details of the mitzvah of mishloach manot. However, one need only be meticulous about all these details for the first obligatory sending, not for additional sendings, which are not required by law.

Food Only

Mishloach manot must consist of food items, not clothing, money, or similar items.

Two Different Foods

One fulfills the obligation only by sending two different kinds of food. Sending one type of food, even if divided into two plates, does not count as two portions. For example, one who sends two portions of calf tongue, even on separate plates, does not fulfill the obligation, since they are the same type. But one who sends tongue together with a different cut of meat does fulfill the obligation, since they differ in taste and nature.

Beverages

A beverage is also considered a portion. Therefore, one may send one food and one drink, or even two types of drinks, though it is preferable to send two foods.

This is implied by the verse: “Eat rich foods and drink sweet drinks, and send portions to those who have nothing prepared.” Likewise, the Talmud relates that Rabbi Yehuda Nesia sent Rabbi Oshaya a three-year-old calf’s leg and a barrel of wine as mishloach manot. (Simchat Yehuda Nagar, 124)

Sweets

Today, many people customarily send sweets.

Nevertheless, one who sends meat or cooked dishes to a friend, knowing that the recipient will be happy with this, will be blessed. There is no doubt that preparing and sending meat or cooked food expresses greater affection and effort than merely placing a few candies on a plate. In addition, such foods can be used for the Purim meal itself, especially since most sweets are not recommended for healthy eating. 

The reason for the custom of sending sweets is explained by the Chida, who writes that Israel accepted the Torah anew willingly in the days of Achashverosh, and the Torah is compared to honey and sweetness. Just as dairy foods are eaten on Shavuot to commemorate the Torah, so sweets are eaten on Purim. He adds further symbolic explanations connected to Esther the Queen.

If one knows that his friend does not eat sweets for health reasons, neither he nor his household, he should send canned goods or similar items instead. Sending sweets in such a case may not fulfill the obligation, since the recipient derives no joy from them and cannot use them even as dessert at the Purim meal.

Higher Standards of Supervision

If one sends food under a certain level of supervision that the recipient personally avoids, the sender has nevertheless fulfilled his obligation, since the food is not halachically forbidden but only avoided as a personal stringency. (Responsa Kinyan Torah, vol. 7; R. Yosef Shalom Elyashiv)

Torah Insights as a Gift

It is written that a Torah scholar who sends his friend mishloach manot consisting of Torah insights fulfills his obligation. According to the explanation that the mitzvah is intended to create affection and connection, there is no greater bond than Torah, through which Israel, the Torah, and God are one.

Quantity of the Portions

It is good for the portions to be at least the amount of one meal, approximately 162 grams. In any case, the portions should be valuable and appropriate to the sender’s means, in order to express affection and friendship. They should also be appropriate to the recipient’s stature — such as a Torah scholar or a wealthy person, so that the gift truly honors and brings joy. This is especially important when sending to one’s teacher or parents, whom the Torah commands us to honor.

Before the Purim Meal

It is preferable to send mishloach manot before eating the Purim meal, though this is not essential.

Sending Before Purim

One may send portions a few days before Purim, provided the recipient knows not to eat them until Purim, which is the time of the obligation.

Yeshiva Students

Students spending Purim in yeshiva should ideally fulfill the mitzvah using portions purchased with their own money, not by exchanging portions received from the yeshiva meal. Only one who has no alternative may rely on exchanging.

Sending to an Adult

The portions should be sent to an adult. One who sends to a minor below bar mitzvah age does not fulfill the obligation, since the verse says “one person to another,” implying adults.

Man or Woman

Ideally, a woman should not send to a man, nor a man to a woman. In cases of need — such as for a poor person or a widow, it is permitted.

Honoring One’s Teacher

Although the verse says “to his fellow,” a student may send portions to his teacher. Sending dignified portions to one’s teacher also fulfills the mitzvah of honoring Torah.

Honoring Parents

Likewise, sending portions to one’s parents is appropriate and expresses love and affection, strengthening family bonds.

Honoring Torah Collectively

If a group of people jointly purchases a respectable mishloach manot for their rabbi, even those who contributed less than the value of two portions individually fulfill their obligation, since the overall gift honors the recipient appropriately.

Sending to One Who Does Not Recite Blessings

Ideally, one should not send food to someone known not to recite blessings before eating, as this would cause him to stumble in sin. However, if such a person already sent portions and failing to reciprocate would cause insult or conflict, one may return mishloach manot.

Using a Messenger

A father may give the portions to his young child to deliver them, provided he ensures they reach the recipient. If he gives them to an adult child, there is no need to verify delivery, as it may be assumed the instruction was fulfilled.

Delivery Services

It is permissible to send mishloach manot via delivery services, even if the courier is not Jewish.

Anonymous Sending

When sending via a messenger, the recipient must be informed who sent the gift. If the portions are sent anonymously, the sender does not fulfill the mitzvah, since the goal is to express affection and friendship.

If the Recipient Is Asleep

If one sends portions and finds the recipient asleep or not at home, and the gift is discovered only after Purim, the sender has not fulfilled his obligation.