Joy in Adar: Faith, Inner Strength, and the Secret of a Woman’s Spiritual Royalty

Women have a special obligation to rejoice during the month of Adar. What is this joy? The Sfat Emet explains that a woman is commanded to remember how special she is, how great she is, and how every good deed she performs is written in the King’s Book of Remembrance. When she feels distressed, God does not sleep: “Behold, He neither slumbers nor sleeps.” His rest is disturbed, and He says, “Bring Me the Book of Remembrance.” What honor and greatness was done for the one who remained silent when insulted? Who prepared Shabbat with joy? Who treated her mother-in-law kindly? What honor shall be granted to her? And then God decrees good decrees upon her.

When a woman remembers how precious and important she is, she should always be beautiful and dignified, always remembering that she has a mission. If only you knew what clothing does to your inner identity when you dress with a sense of royalty. If you want to remember every moment that your actions are great, that even the smallest deed reaches the Heavenly Throne, wear dignified garments. So too were the garments of the High Priest refined, modest, and layered, to remind him constantly how significant he was and how meaningful his actions were.

Shabbat, Royalty, and Inner Strength

On Shabbat there is a unique form of Amalek, because Amalek knows that when a Jewish woman fulfills “Strength and dignity are her clothing,” then “she smiles at the future.” When you are dressed with dignity, you gain the ability to overlook, to forgive, to lead. You feel less burdened, less anger toward the children, and more of the spirit of Shabbat within you.

Rabbi Nachman writes that “it is a mitzvah to be joyful always.” Why does he not say that it is a mitzvah to be joyful at all times? Because the true mitzvah is that even when you are not yet joyful, you should at least be engaged in the process of joy, by preparing yourself for the happiness that is coming, searching for ways to reach it.

How do you get there? Through perseverance. Perseverance is the understanding that life contains both inhaling and exhaling. There is no “rest” on Shabbat without the “effort” of Friday. Life is a journey through stations of joy, and in the meantime we are on the path toward it, learning patience and building our lives brick by brick.

Perseverance and the Path to Joy

The concept of perseverance exists in the world of Torah study as well. What does it mean? To continue learning even when you do not feel like it, even when you do not fully understand. That is the greatness of perseverance. 

How can a woman who is in pain lift herself up? By remembering that she is a queen, that others depend on her and need her. That awareness fills her with strength to continue giving to those she loves. Thinking about the people who rely on her helps her stand again and grants her renewed energy.

I see this often. Once a woman came to me with severe postpartum depression and she could barely function. “Enough,” I told her, “your husband is suffering. Look how he circles around you, calling to check on you, hungry for connection. For him, come home with joy.” “You’re right,” she said. For his sake she wiped her tears and went home smiling. Because every woman receives strength when she remembers that people need her: “Yes, I feel down, but now I am a queen and I reign.”

What Does It Mean to Feel Like a Queen?

A broken young woman once came to me in Tel Aviv: “I can’t go on. I’m not married, not a mother, and I’m going through treatments. I can’t continue.” I asked her, “Who depends on you? For whom is it worthwhile for you to live?” She answered, “My mother, my sisters, my wonderful friends. I also love my work.” In that moment I saw her royalty return. So too Esther, who tells herself: “If you keep seeing yourself only as a private individual with your personal pain, you won’t endure.”

“Queen” means stepping beyond your own troubles and turning toward someone else’s needs. From the moment Esther does this, she becomes a queen: “When the king saw Queen Esther… ‘What troubles you, Queen Esther? What is your request, even up to half the kingdom?’… Haman trembled before the king and the queen…” When you feel yourself part of the people, it gives you strength.

In these days we must remember to pray as one united nation. You are a messenger in the inner courtyard of the King. Pray for all of Israel, because the entire people rests on your shoulders. The Midrash says: “If you remain silent at this time…” then when you need something, Heaven may be silent in return, God forbid. Israel depends on your prayers — especially when you are in pain. You cannot imagine how far your prayers rise.

The Definition of Joy According to the Sfat Emet

The word “Tetzaveh” implies urgency. Any act done with enthusiasm and eagerness has lasting existence. What you do with energy remains; what you do without energy fades. Eagerness leads to devotion. Amalek sought to steal this quality from Israel, as it says, “The children of Israel went up armed from Egypt” — meaning energized and ready. The essence of joy comes about when a person remembers that their actions reach the heavens.

What does Amalek want? Amalek wants doubt. Amalek wants you to act quickly, efficiently, automatically, by forgetting what truly matters. “Hurry Haman… quickly take the garment and the horse.” God desires eagerness with awareness. What is the difference? Eagerness means acting while remembering: “God sees me now. I am doing this for Shabbat, for my family, for a higher purpose.” Any act done with awareness becomes eternal.

Amalek seeks speed, while God seeks mindful eagerness. Acting from the heart, with intention, brings fulfillment and joy.

The Three Levels of Faith

And finally, what brings the greatest joy? Faith.

Rabbi Shimon Gershon Rosenberg describes three stages of faith:

1. “Everything is coincidence.”
   Saying that everything is random is the worldview of Amalek: “who met you on the way.” Amalek cools your faith and makes you believe there is no Divine providence.

2. “Everything is fate.”
   A higher level: “There is God, but what happened to me is sad and difficult. Why did I receive this lot?” This is the level of a religious but sorrowful person.

3. “Everything is Divine providence.”
   The highest level: understanding that the world is not random. Mordechai looked at Esther’s painful situation — married to a wicked king, and did not despair. He believed that such suffering must lead to redemption. That is true faith.

Therefore, be strong and courageous. Even if you do not yet see the light at the end of the tunnel, even if your salvation is still hidden, it will come. It rests in the hands of the One who loves us more than anyone and who desires our eternal good at every moment.

May we always merit to live with joy.