Against the Current: A Different Way to Think About Life and Love

Much of modern culture promises ease. If life feels heavy, something must be wrong. But there is another way to look at life and relationships, one that does not flee from difficulty but understands its role. This is the approach known as distinction.

What Life Is Supposed to Feel Like

Mainstream says:
Life should be easy. If it’s hard, change the country, the partner, the religion, the framework.

Distinction says:
Life is not supposed to be easy. Good lives are built, shaped, and created, and creation requires effort. Even after meaningful changes, life does not suddenly become simple. Growth still demands work.

Preparation and Responsibility

Mainstream says:
You weren’t taught. You weren’t prepared. You weren’t given what you needed.

Distinction says:
You haven’t yet taught yourself. You haven’t fully prepared. And it is never too late to begin.

Emotions and Resilience

Mainstream says:
Others should apologize to you and constantly adapt to your feelings.

Distinction says:
You need resilience. Yes, feel deeply and honestly, but do not expect the world to continually reshape itself around you.

Work and Effort

Mainstream says:
They’ve put too much on you. This is inhumane.

Distinction says:
You’ve taken on a lot. That is something to respect. A life filled with doing, even when it is demanding, is deeply human.

Relationships and Love

Mainstream says:
In couples therapy, the goal is accommodation and emotional support.

Distinction says:
In couples therapy, the work is to release dependency and create love that is chosen freely, rooted in connection to one’s true self.

More Than a Method

The approach of distinction reflects a deeper truth about life. It is not merely about solving problems or applying techniques. It is a way of living with courage, allowing strong emotions to exist, and acting from a deep connection to the soul in everyday choices.

Distinction offers a renewed understanding of relationships. It teaches how to rekindle desire where it has faded, how to set boundaries without fear, how to forgive without erasing oneself, and how to experience emotional depth without panic about the outcome.

Efrat Tzur is a nurse, relationship advisor, speaker, and workshop facilitator specializing in relationships and distinction.