3 Essential Ingredients for Nurturing Your Relationship

For a relationship to grow and flourish, it needs space. Just like a flower. If you want it to grow and bloom, you need to make sure there is enough room in the pot. And if you want it to flourish even more, sometimes you need a bigger pot.

So what does it really mean to give space to a relationship?

Creating Dedicated Time and Place

First, it means dedicating time. An hour a day, an evening a week, or as much as possible. Time that is set aside and protected. Time that belongs to the relationship.

It also means creating a pleasant physical space. A cozy corner at home, a chair on the balcony, a walk together, or a visit to a quiet café. A space that exists within the larger flow of life, but is clearly meant just for the relationship.

Family needs space too. If we want to build a deep and meaningful connection with our children, we must create room for listening, presence, and shared growth.

Space Alone Is Not Enough

But space by itself is not enough.

We also need to pay attention to the inner state we bring with us.

If I set aside time and space for my relationship but arrive exhausted, anxious, irritated, or emotionally drained, the impact will be limited. The relationship may technically receive time, but not real presence.

The Sefer Yetzirah teaches that the world was created through three dimensions: world, year, and soul. Space, time, and inner life.

Even when we have space and time in place, we still need to address the soul.

Preparing the Inner Space

Before entering the relationship space, it helps to put down the emotional weight we are carrying. Like taking off muddy shoes before coming inside.

Finding the energy to soften. To smile. To arrive as myself. To accept myself as I am in that moment.

When we do this, the time we dedicate to our relationships and family becomes deeper and far more meaningful.

Making the Switch

So how do we make that transition?

There is no universal formula. Each person finds their own way to shift gears and arrive home with a clearer, more open mindset.

For some, it might be:

• Five minutes of quiet reflection or prayer, focusing on family and connection
• Five minutes alone in the car, writing a few lines in a journal
• Five minutes of meditation
• Five minutes of movement or dancing to music

Five minutes that can change the atmosphere in your mind and, as a result, the atmosphere at home.

A Surprising Tool That Helped Me

Here is something unexpected that helped me recently.

Complaint meditation.

I sat alone in the car and decided not to hold anything back. I spoke out loud. I listed every complaint, frustration, and grievance that was weighing on me. For almost ten minutes, I talked nonstop, mostly to the windshield, and honestly, a bit to my sister too.

I let the frustration out.

Then I came home, wrote down a few practical points to address later, put on good music, and allowed myself to begin again.

I cannot promise this will always work. Sometimes releasing complaints can actually intensify negative emotions rather than ease them.

But in that moment, for me, it worked.

Staying at the Wheel

The most important thing is knowing how to stay in control of the wheel.

Knowing how to make the switch.

Knowing how to keep our inner space clean so that the relationships we care about have room to breathe.

Efrat Tzur is a nurse, relationship advisor, lecturer, and workshop facilitator specializing in relationships and intimacy. She teaches online courses, is married to Elad, and is a mother of seven.