Spring Cleaning for the Heart: A Fresh Start Before Pesach

It is worth turning inward. A kind of mental housecleaning clearing out thoughts, organizing the rooms of the heart, and releasing negative beliefs and ideas leads to one thing: change.

But where, and when, does change actually happen?

Where Change Begins

Change begins in the mind. We shape our lives through our thoughts and feelings. The thoughts that arise in our minds, along with the words we speak, create the reality of our lives.

No one else determines our mood. What lifts us or brings us down is not how others behave toward us, but how we interpret what happens in our lives. We are the only ones who think in our own minds. When we create peace, calm, and balance within, we begin to see those same foundations reflected in our lives.

We have unlimited choices in what we think. When we choose positive thoughts, positive outcomes follow. When we choose negative ones, those shape our experience instead. Often, we create situations in our lives and then, without noticing, give away our power by blaming others for our frustration.

Beliefs Formed Early

Most of us carry mistaken ideas about who we are, along with rigid rules about how life is supposed to be lived. These belief systems are formed very early in childhood.

We absorb ideas about ourselves and about life from the reactions of the adults around us when we were young. Over time, we begin creating experiences that match those beliefs.

As we grow, we often recreate the emotional climate of our childhood home. In our relationships, we repeat familiar dynamics with our parents and even imitate the relationship they had with one another. We also tend to treat ourselves the way they treated us. Encouraging or criticizing ourselves in the same language we once heard. Eventually, we may hear those same words coming out of our mouths toward our children or partner. We learn to love and value ourselves in the way we were loved and valued.

All of these beliefs live in our thoughts.

Changing the Thought, Changing the Life

If a belief is positive, we keep it and refine it. If it is negative or no longer serves us, it is time to change it.

When we change a thought, the feeling it creates changes as well. When the feeling changes, behavior follows. Reality itself does not determine how we feel or act. Our thoughts about reality do.

We choose our thoughts in every moment, and that moment of choice is always now. The past is sealed. What matters is the thought we choose to think right now, because those thoughts and words create our future.

This is why awareness is essential. We must pay attention to the thoughts we think throughout the day.

Why Change Is Necessary

When we blame others and avoid taking responsibility for our lives, we become angry. We hold grudges, criticize, judge, worry, and fear what lies ahead.

With our own hands, we create many of the problems in our lives. Within our bodies, our marriages, and our relationships with others. Change, on the other hand, brings happiness, joy, blessing, love, healthy relationships, and abundant livelihood.

Releasing the Past

Change begins with transforming our relationship with the past.

The past is over and sealed. We cannot change it. For healing to take place, we must be willing to release it and forgive everyone involved. Including ourselves.

Forgiveness does not mean justifying harmful behavior. It means choosing to judge others favorably, recognizing that they are human and that they failed or struggled in some way. Holding on to resentment creates bitterness that may eventually express itself physically. It is no surprise that unresolved anger can lead to illness.

Even the willingness to forgive begins the healing process.

When possible, it is also important to tell the person who hurt us that we were hurt. This can immediately release stored anger and bring deep inner relief. The key is to speak respectfully, without accusation or aggression.

The longer we wait, the harder forgiveness becomes. Anger deepens with time. It is like a stain on a garment. The longer it sits, the harder it is to remove.

Healing Through Self-Love

By loving ourselves, we heal our lives.

Self approval and self acceptance are the keys to positive change in every area. Self love begins with refraining from self criticism. When we accept ourselves as we are, life begins to flow more smoothly.

Health improves. Livelihood expands. Relationships deepen. Creativity emerges. Love and validation arrive from unexpected places. A sense of safety and trust takes root, and we begin to feel worthy.

From this place, we can build loving relationships, find meaningful work, discover a better living environment, stabilize our bodies, and return to balance.

Cleaning the Inner Home

Consider how we clean a room, especially before Pesach. We remove everything and divide it into two groups.

One group includes items we cherish. We clean them, polish them, and sometimes repair them. The other group includes items that no longer serve us. We give them away or discard them, usually without guilt.

The same applies to our inner world.

If a belief no longer serves us, we are allowed to let it go. There is no rule that says we must believe something forever just because we once did.

Many limiting beliefs come from criticism or negative messages we absorbed in childhood. Everyone has beliefs to overcome in order to fulfill their purpose.

When we examine our thoughts, we see a clear truth. Whatever we believe becomes true for us. Every problem grows from a thought pattern. Thought patterns can be changed.

We change them by noticing our words, reshaping them into positive statements, and repeating them consistently. Persistence anchors new thinking, and outward change follows.

Resistance to Change

Resistance arises for several reasons. Change implies that until now, something was misaligned, and that can feel uncomfortable. It is also easier to remain familiar with what we know, even if it limits us.

Change can feel intimidating. It demands effort and courage.

But when we do not retreat, when we begin the journey with trust in Hashem, the path opens, and success follows.

Let us be willing to change, and everything else will come in its time.