From Secular Life to Spiritual Awakening: Moshe Hasdai’s Journey Back to Judaism

Moshe Hasdai was born into a secular family in the city of Lod, where the socioeconomic reality was far from simple. As a child, he was exposed to significant violence and immersed himself in martial arts. He felt that he had seen too much of the world at an age when children should be protected from such experiences.

After witnessing several difficult incidents, he began searching for spirituality. However, he never imagined he would find it within Judaism. In an interview, he described that period of his life:

He immersed himself in spiritual exploration, writing poetry and reading extensively about various spiritual traditions and philosophies from around the world. Judaism, however, was not an option in his eyes. Influenced by media portrayals, he saw it as primitive and incompatible with modern culture.

A Turning Point After His Father’s Passing

Despite his distance from Judaism, the death of his father brought him closer. During his service in a special combat engineering unit, his father fell ill with a severe disease and became bedridden within a few months. His father had been physically and emotionally strong, yet the illness overwhelmed him quickly.

In his father’s final moments, he asked everyone to leave the room except Moshe. Holding his father’s head in his hands, Moshe promised to care for his mother and witnessed what he felt was the moment the soul left the body. He recalls that his father passed away with a smile, an experience that deeply impacted him. It sparked a profound curiosity about the existence of the soul and what his father might have seen in those last moments.

Returning to Judaism and a Life of Torah

Following this experience, Moshe began a journey back to Jewish observance. He moved to a religious community and became actively involved in yeshivot, Torah classes, and various spiritual initiatives.

At one point, he experienced what he describes as a visible miracle. Surrounded by a hostile crowd that intended to harm him, he defended himself with precise action that ultimately saved his life. Professional authorities later determined that his response was justified.

“Confession of a Professional Heretic”

About eleven years ago, when he felt ready to share his personal transformation publicly, Moshe published an article titled “Confession of a Professional Heretic.” In it, he reflected on his past worldview and ideological struggles.

He wrote that he once believed the solution to Jewish challenges was for Jews to become like all other nations or to establish a purely modern secular state. As a secular liberal, he felt that liberal democratic philosophy offered liberation from traditional Torah based morality, which he had perceived as limiting personal freedom.

Over time however, he began to reassess these views. He expressed regret over distancing himself from Jewish heritage and described his evolving perspective on Jewish identity, culture, and spirituality.

A Personal Reflection on Identity and Change

In his writings, Moshe spoke candidly about his inner transformation, his changing relationship with Jewish tradition, and the questions that shaped his journey. He described his return to Torah study as part of a broader personal and national awakening, emphasizing that many thinkers, scientists, and artists are rediscovering interest in Jewish spiritual heritage.

He concluded by expressing hope for renewal and growth through engagement with Jewish tradition, seeing it as a source of moral clarity, intellectual depth, and spiritual direction.

These reflections, expressed in his own words, stand as a powerful testimony to the complexity of identity, belief, and the ongoing search for meaning.