The Hidden Purpose of the Passover Seder: From Slavery and Contradictions to True Gratitude

On the night of the Seder we gather for a central family meal filled with paradoxes.

On the one hand, we behave like royalty. We dress elegantly, recline on cushions, set a rich and beautiful table, and pour cups of wine for one another as kings once did. Yet at the same time we eat matzah because it is the bread of poverty, charoset because it resembles mortar, karpas whose name hints at harsh labor, and specifically red wine, which among other meanings reminds us of the blood of Jewish children murdered for Pharaoh’s infamous bath.

What is the true goal of this most blessed night of the year? Is it intended to recreate suffering or to experience liberation? Are we expected to remember slavery or celebrate freedom?

The Root of the Answer Lies Within Us

The answer is connected to the very core of our souls and our way of life.

Human beings struggle to express gratitude. We are born this way, and unless we change deeply, we often remain this way throughout life.

Our sages taught that a person never leaves this world with even half of their desires fulfilled. If someone has one hundred, they want two hundred. If they have two hundred, they want four hundred. A person constantly pursues more, and the more they possess, the more they feel they lack. In this sense, the wealthiest individual can feel the poorest, because their sense of deficiency grows alongside their wealth.

Who Is Truly Rich?

This explains the teaching of the sages: Who is wealthy? One who is happy with their portion.

Most people build a metaphorical safe twice the size of what they actually have. If someone owns one thousand coins, they imagine a safe that holds two thousand, and when asked about their financial state, they feel discouraged because they see a thousand missing. The more they possess, the larger the imagined gap becomes.

The person who is truly rich designs their safe to fit exactly what they own. If they have one hundred coins, their safe holds one hundred. When asked how they are doing, they can sincerely answer that everything is good, because nothing is missing.

Why Gratitude Is So Difficult

Because of this mindset, if someone were to approach us randomly and tell us to look upward and thank God for all the goodness in our lives, we might respond with confusion. We compare ourselves to those who seem to have more, focusing on what is missing rather than what exists. Complaints about finances, homes, or possessions come easily, while gratitude feels distant.

This is precisely where the challenge of the Seder night begins. It is difficult to ask people to express thanks when they feel surrounded by lack.

Why the Seder Combines Poverty and Royalty

What does God do? He allows us to feel, through the symbols of the Seder, the poverty and humiliation our ancestors experienced in Egypt. We are reminded that without redemption we would still be enslaved. At the same time, we look around and see that tonight we have a roof over our heads, a cushion to lean on, food on the table, and wine in our cups.

Even if we continue to long for more, at least we can recognize the distance we have already traveled from slavery to freedom.

Gratitude in Every Area of Life

This lesson extends beyond material wealth. A person often fails to appreciate their spiritual growth, their learning, their livelihood, or the family they have built step by step. Human nature is full of expectations and constant anticipation of the next gift, rather than appreciation for the journey already made.

The Seder provides a pause, a moment to reflect on where we came from and where we stand today. It encourages us to measure progress, not only dreams.

The Homework of the Seder Night

This is the deeper purpose of the Seder. Through its contrasts, it teaches us how to say thank you. By remembering both the bitterness of slavery and the dignity of freedom, we learn to praise and thank the Creator for the good we have received and the good that is yet to come.

These are our assignments for the Seder night, and the lessons we pass on to our children for the entire year.

May we all succeed in this sacred task, both personally and collectively.