Politics at the Seder Table: How to Handle Family Conflict on Passover Without Losing Unity

I have a serious problem. My family is split in two because of the political situation in Israel.

I refuse to sit together with my uncle and cousins who support positions that I believe will harm the State of Israel. The problem is that the Seder night is right around the corner, and our extended family has always celebrated the Seder together. My brother says we should go but keep our mouths shut. I say we cannot betray ourselves and must stand up for the truth. What do you say, Rabbi Moss?

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The situation you describe is indeed serious. You must take a very strong position on this matter. There is no room for compromise. The truth is clear.

The answer is written explicitly in the Passover Haggadah. Read what it says there, and you will know how to act.

Your dilemma is addressed in the well known passage we sing during the Seder called “VeHi She’amda”:

And it is this that has stood by our ancestors and by us…

For not only one enemy has risen against us to destroy us…

But in every generation they rise against us to destroy us…

And the Holy One, blessed be He, saves us from their hands.

The Secret of Jewish Survival

Here we are speaking about the secret strength that has allowed the Jewish people to survive. Throughout history, our enemies have tried to erase us, yet we are still here. What has sustained us?

At first glance, the text seems to leave the answer mysterious “this” has stood by us. What exactly is that “this”?

The next line hints at the answer: “Not only one has risen against us to destroy us.”

Our enemies are rarely united. They are divided among themselves. When Jews are united and our adversaries are fragmented, their plans fail.

Look at the enemies of the Jewish people. Often they are torn by internal conflicts, sometimes hating one another even more than they hate us. If they were truly united, they would be an unstoppable force. It is precisely because they are divided that we are able to endure.

But this only works when the Jewish people themselves remain united. We are small in number compared to the world’s population. As individuals we are few, but when we stand together, we are stronger than our enemies because they are not one cohesive group while we are. Our unity outweighs their fragmentation.

One People Despite Differences

Jewish unity is incredibly precious. Jews and especially Israelis are known for passionate ideas, strong opinions, and persuasive arguments. The saying “two Jews, three opinions” reflects this reality. Sometimes it feels impossible to bridge our differences and at times it truly is difficult.

Yet we are still one people. Our shared Jewish identity rises above our disagreements. We are one nation, one family, one soul.

Yes, there are real disagreements among us. But when we allow those disagreements to separate us completely, we weaken ourselves and become vulnerable. When we rise above differences and maintain love for one another, nothing can stop us.

Practical Advice for Your Seder

So here is the answer to your question.

If you cannot look beyond politics long enough to sit with your family at the Seder table, you are not only creating division within your family, but you are weakening the unity of our people. We can disagree, but we must not separate.

Treat politics like a piece of bread at the Seder table.

Go to your parents’ Seder. But before you enter the house, pause for a moment and consciously leave every negative thought and emotion outside the door. Then go inside, sit with your family, and celebrate the deeper bond that connects you; a bond that rises above all differences: your shared Jewish soul.

By the end of the Seder, when you open the door for Eliyahu, let the feelings of hostility fade away.

Disunity strengthens our enemies. Love and connection strengthen us.