7 Golden Rules for Stress-Free Holiday Hosting

If you plan to host for upcoming Jewish holidays, there is no need to panic. Just take a deep breath, grab a pen and paper, and begin writing things down. We’ve gathered 7 golden rules for perfect hosting, so that the experience will be pleasant for both you and your guests.

1. Plan Ahead

If there is one thing you should never skip before hosting, it is planning ahead. Sit down and write: How many guests are you thinking of inviting? Are you hosting siblings-in-law, or children and grandchildren? If overnight stays are involved, do you have enough beds? Do you need to arrange mattresses? What about Shabbat timers for the air conditioners? Do you have enough hot plates? Any question that comes to mind is worth writing down.

2. Make Lists

A good list is the host’s best friend. Read through all the questions from the first section and turn them into checklist items. Do not hesitate to keep adding more — early organization is the key to successful hosting.

3. Prepare Everything in Advance

The more you prepare ahead of time, the easier hosting will be. Meals can be cooked several days in advance and frozen. Fresh salads can be chopped early and stored in airtight containers in the refrigerator without seasoning. If you have a guest room, prepare it the day before. If your children are giving up their beds for guests, begin organizing the room as soon as they get up. Do whatever you can before the guests arrive. The day guests arrive is usually filled with last-minute details, so leave only what truly cannot be done earlier.

4. See Your Home Through a Guest’s Eyes

Before your guests arrive, take a “guest’s perspective” look around: Is the floor clean? Is there enough toilet paper? If you are hosting for Shabbat, is pre-cut paper ready? When the beds are made, add a small rolled face towel on each pillow to add a personal touch.

If guests are arriving two or three hours before Shabbat, make sure you have something ready to serve them. Guests may arrive hungry and thirsty from the journey. As written in the book Ahavat Chesed: “Immediately upon the guest’s arrival, place food and drink before him, for perhaps he is hungry or thirsty but feels embarrassed to ask. Do everything quickly so the guest understands he is welcomed and wanted.”

5. Order and Organization

Hosting guests with children will not keep your home perfectly tidy for long, but a pleasant and organized space gives guests a warm feeling the moment they enter. Do the deep cleaning a day or two beforehand, and leave only light last-minute tidying for the hosting day itself. Your guests will be happiest to see you calm and joyful at the holiday table, rather than exhausted and impatient.

6. A Warm and Cheerful Attitude

There is great merit in the mitzvah of hospitality: “Welcoming guests brings merit to a woman for children” (Sefer HaMidot, Rabbi Nachman of Breslov). Still, it is important to fulfill this mitzvah with a pleasant countenance and a joyful heart. More than delicious food or a comfortable bed, your guests will appreciate a warm and respectful attitude. The phrase “feel at home” expresses this perfectly — make your guests feel wanted and valued, and you will fulfill a true mitzvah done wholeheartedly.

7. Don’t Forget to Accompany Them

The mitzvah of hospitality reaches completion when you escort your guests as they leave. As our sages taught: “Anyone who accompanies his friend even four cubits in the city — he will not be harmed” (Sotah 46b).