Humility, Respect, and the Power of Words: A Jewish Guide

Following are insights from the book Pele Yoetz, by Rabbi Eliezer Papo:

1. Never Humiliate Another Person

Our sages taught: “Do not despise any person, for there is no one who does not have their moment” (Pirkei Avot 4:3). Even someone of low status should not be insulted or cursed. All the more so a fellow Jew — for every person is created in the image of God. One who humiliates another is considered as if he has insulted the Divine Presence itself. As the sages said, striking another person is like striking the Shechinah, Heaven forbid.

2. Look at Your Own Faults First

There is no place to belittle any Jew. A person should instead examine his own shortcomings. The way of the world is often the opposite: people notice every flaw in others but overlook their own. A person tends to judge others harshly while finding endless justifications for himself, imagining his actions to be pure and upright.

3. Measure Sin by the Greatness of the King

A righteous person should judge others favorably and search deeply for his own areas of growth. Even a small wrongdoing should appear significant in one’s eyes — not because of its quantity, but because of the greatness of the King who commanded against it. Any transgression, however small, is considered rebellion against the King of Glory.

4. “I Have Done No Great Deed”

Even if a person studies much Torah and performs many mitzvot, he should see his achievements as small compared to his obligations and potential. He should recognize how far he still is from serving God with perfect intention, reverence, love, and joy. Therefore, a person should be able to say honestly: “I have done no great deed.”

5. Avoid Pride

When others honor a person, he must strengthen himself not to become arrogant. In his heart he should say, “I know that I am not truly deserving.” He should remain humble, aware that even if he performs good deeds, the loss from mistakes could outweigh the merit. Our sages taught that one must never treat anyone with contempt, for everything in the world was created for God’s honor.

6. Rejoice Even in Insults

If someone humiliates you, do not react with anger or conflict. Instead, bow your head and reflect that perhaps Heaven allowed this as a form of gentle correction. One can even rejoice that God chose to refine him through light suffering rather than harsher trials. Those who accept humiliation with love are described by the verse: “Those who love Him are like the rising sun in its strength.”

7. Guard Against Ingratitude

One must never humiliate someone from whom he has received any benefit, even a small one. Moshe himself did not strike the Nile or the dust of Egypt because he had benefited from them. How much more must a person show lasting gratitude to someone who helped him intentionally.

Even if someone wrongs you, do not repay insult with insult. Remaining silent and composed brings great reward. The ideal is to reach a state where honor and disgrace are equal in one’s eyes — a lofty spiritual trait.

8. Honor Parents and Torah Scholars

Extra care must be taken not to shame those to whom honor is owed, such as parents, teachers, or Torah scholars. The Torah warns strongly against dishonoring a father or mother. Even when a parent forgives personal honor, that does not permit disrespect or humiliation.

One who insults a Torah scholar faces severe consequences. Therefore, when writing or speaking about earlier sages, one must do so with deep respect and humility, recognizing the greatness of those whose wisdom we inherit.

9. Respect Every Human Being