Fifty Years Without Forgiveness: A Story of Faith and Healing

Rabbi Baruch Rosenblum recounts a moving story that appears in the book Doresh Tov :

“A distinguished-looking Jew approached me several years ago after one of my lectures and asked to speak privately for a few minutes. We stepped behind the building, and he began telling me his life story.”

A Difficult Childhood in Israel

“I immigrated to Israel as a young boy with my parents and family. Our absorption was not easy — sometimes there was barely any food at home. There were nights we went to sleep without dinner, and mornings when there was nothing for breakfast either. Still, I never complained.

“When I reached bar mitzvah age, my parents couldn’t afford a new suit or hat. I inherited an old outfit from an uncle who had passed away. Nothing fit properly, but I was grateful just to have something to wear.

“My best years began in yeshiva, where at every meal I received a slice of bread. I sat there in disbelief — I was in the Land of Israel, learning Torah and eating bread!”

The Summer Job That Changed Everything

“One day I noticed a notice posted in the synagogue about work during the bein hazmanim (yeshiva break). I had always dreamed of buying my own suit, hat, shirt, tie, maybe even new shoes, so I eagerly applied for a job at a religious factory.

“I hoped the small wages would allow me to dress myself properly, and whatever remained I planned to give to my father to help buy supplies for Sukkot.”

He was accepted and began working from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Weeks passed uneventfully, until one day everything changed.

The Accusation

“In the middle of the third week, the manager gathered about thirty workers into the dining room. He looked furious. He said a small cassette player — which was very expensive in those days, had disappeared from his office.

“He demanded that whoever had taken it return it immediately to avoid shame and police involvement.”

Silence filled the room. No one confessed.

The manager searched every bag but found nothing. Then he announced, “I know how to read faces. I will identify the thief myself.”

One by one, he examined each worker, until he reached this young man.

“He looked straight at me and said: ‘You are the thief! Return the tape recorder!’”

“At that moment, my blood froze. Thirty pairs of eyes stared at me. I cried out to Hashem: ‘You know that even when I had nothing to eat, I never took bread that wasn’t mine!’

“I told him aloud: ‘I don’t even know what a tape recorder is!’ But nothing helped.”

The manager deducted the price of the tape recorder from his salary — leaving him with only two liras — and sent him home in disgrace.

“From that day on,” he said, “every night before sleep I would declare forgiveness for everyone who hurt me, except for that man. Even on Yom Kippur I said: ‘I forgive everyone… except him.’”

Fifty years passed, and he never told anyone the story.

A Chance to Forgive

One week, he saw a notice announcing that the manager had passed away.

“I stood there thinking — isn’t it time to forgive? If Hashem forgives, why can’t you? I even said aloud: ‘Master of the Universe, I forgive him…’ But I kept hearing his voice: ‘You are a thief!’ — and I couldn’t forgive.”

The next morning he consulted his synagogue rabbi, who suggested sponsoring Torah learning — paying scholars to study all six orders of Mishnah in the deceased man’s merit.

“I did exactly that,” he said. “I gave each scholar two hundred shekels and asked them to learn for his soul.”

Rabbi Rosenblum praised him warmly, quoting the teaching that one who overlooks offenses is granted long life.

Suddenly the man grasped the rabbi’s hand and said through tears: “I gave two thousand shekels for his soul… but I still don’t forgive him!”

He broke down crying like a child and walked away trembling.

Rabbi Rosenblum recalls: “This was the first time I saw a person carrying a bleeding wound on his shoulders for decades, unable to say the words, ‘I forgive.’”

The Power of Repentance and Forgiveness

Rabbi Rosenblum concludes with a powerful lesson: “This experience shows how difficult repentance and forgiveness truly are. Rabbeinu Yonah teaches that one of Hashem’s greatest gifts is the path of teshuvah — allowing us to rise from our failures and escape the traps of sin. Rabbi Nissim Gaon writes that we cannot comprehend the strength of divine mercy except when Hashem forgives the sins of those who fear Him.

“We have no idea how great the gift of repentance is,” Rabbi Rosenblum declares. “Only a Father can forgive His children and welcome them back. Understand what a tremendous gift we have received — the gift of teshuvah, which atones for all wrongdoing.”