The Fifth Son at the Seder: A Powerful Lesson for Pesach and Life

“Why do we clean for Pesach?” I asked my daughter while vacuuming the carpet.

“There are two reasons,” she answered confidently.

Knowing my little gem, I sensed a brilliant insight coming. I turned off the vacuum and listened closely.

“Well,” she began, raising one finger, “one reason is to clean away the chametz.”
True. I learned that back in kindergarten, but that was not why I stopped the vacuum.

“The second reason,” she continued, pointing with one finger to the other hand, “is so we can feel a little of what the Jewish people experienced in Egypt. They carried bricks, and we carry furniture. They swept dust, and you vacuum it…”

I can honestly say that my attitude toward Pesach cleaning changed completely from that moment on.

I always wondered: fine, we eat matzah because our ancestors’ dough did not have time to rise, but where does it say that the Israelites wandered in the desert with heavy duty cleaners and degreasers?

Yet the wisdom of a child revealed something deeper. We are meant to feel a taste of the Egyptian bondage. Even there, the Midrash teaches, people were forced into unfamiliar and difficult labor.

At last, Seder night arrives. We move from the “bondage” of cleaning to the freedom of the festival, reclining like royalty and delighting in the story of the Haggadah.

The Four Sons and the Joy of Hashem

The Haggadah speaks of four sons, and we will focus on them.

In Tanna Devei Eliyahu it is said among the praises of Hashem that He “rejoices in His portion.” Rabbi Chaim of Volozhin wondered how this praise could apply to God. A person rejoices in his portion because he has limits, but Hashem can create anything He desires instantly.

He traveled to his teacher, the Vilna Gaon, who explained: What is Hashem’s portion? The Jewish people, as it says, “For Hashem’s portion is His people.” God wishes that His people grow and improve, yet “everything is in the hands of Heaven except fear of Heaven.” Still, Hashem rejoices in His portion, in every Jew as he is, while hoping he will rise higher.

What a powerful idea. Some are wise, some struggle, some are simple, some are confused, yet Hashem loves them all. Every Jew is precious, like an only child.

But all this holds true only if we do not become the “fifth son.”

Who is the fifth son?

The Parable of the Counterfeiters

People love easy money, to work little and gain much. Especially Israelis, let us admit it.

How do you recognize an Israeli? When he hears about a scam that made a fortune, he sighs and says, “Why didn’t I think of that?”

Counterfeiting money is one such scheme.

A certain town was flooded with counterfeit bills. The machines were sophisticated, the plates precise, and the colors perfect. Even expert money changers were deceived. Frustration spread quickly.

Eventually the police caught two counterfeiters. One printed dollars, the other shekels.

The first was sentenced to prison for six years. The second, however, was sent to a psychiatric hospital.

“Why?” he protested. “We both forged money!”

The judge replied, “You clearly had the skill and equipment to print dollars. Why did you choose to forge shekels? Only a madman would do such a thing.”

Where the Divine Presence Dwells

The Chafetz Chaim taught that Hashem’s compassion is so great that He is willing to dwell even among sinners, as the Torah says, “Who dwells with them in the midst of their impurity.”

Yet the sages teach that God does not share space with arrogance. Why? Because a person who is impure may one day repent, but the arrogant person is like a fool, proud of what is not truly his, since everything comes from God.

This idea also answers a famous question. The Haggadah speaks of the wise son, the wicked son, the simple son, and the one who does not know how to ask. Why is the opposite of the wise son described as wicked rather than foolish?

Rabbi Yosef Shlomo Kahaneman explained: the damage caused by foolishness is sometimes worse than wickedness. A person can learn from evil and avoid it, but the influence of foolishness is deeply dangerous.

The Fifth Son

The Haggadah describes four sons. Each one relates to the Seder in some way. Even the wicked son engages, albeit negatively.

But the fifth son is different. He is indifferent. Whether the Seder plate is set or cleared, whether there is charoset or something else, it makes no difference to him. He does not ask, does not care, and simply waits for it to end so he can return to his distractions.

This emotional numbness is true folly. Instead of embracing the infinite wealth of mitzvot, he settles for counterfeit coins.

Within each of us live aspects of the four sons: the desire to do good, the struggle with wrongdoing, simple faith, or confusion. Yet we remain beloved as long as we strive to fulfill the will of our Creator and never give up on ourselves.

After all, the heart may have only two chambers, but it can take a lifetime to clean them.

A kosher and joyful Pesach.