Seder Night Intention: Faith, Storytelling and the Four Sons

During the days of Pesach, every Jewish home awakens and receives the same spiritual illumination and influence that our ancestors experienced when they left Egypt — transforming from slaves into free servants of God, becoming “servants of Hashem” rather than servants of Pharaoh (Megillah 14a). The holy Zohar (Bo 40b) teaches that anyone who tells the story of the Exodus with joy will merit to rejoice with the Divine Presence in the World to Come. At that moment, God gathers His heavenly entourage and says: “Go and listen to the praise My children are telling about Me, and how they rejoice in My redemption.”

On this holy night, a powerful spiritual light descends from Heaven, enabling parents to instill faith and good character traits within their children. Even if throughout the year this seems difficult, on this night, through recounting the story of the Exodus and thanking Hashem for the miracles He performed and continues to perform, the message becomes engraved in the hearts of the children for life. Many stories are told about people who once distanced themselves from Torah observance but later returned after remembering the Seder night they experienced with their families. Truly, “the day is holy to our Master,” and its power is extraordinary.

Swallowing the Haggadah Is Not Enough

The central mitzvah of the night is: “And you shall tell your child on that day.” Each person must explain, elaborate, and describe the miracles of the Exodus and the faith passed down through generations: that God watches over every detail and chose us as His treasured nation. The Haggadah should therefore be read calmly and patiently, listening to the children’s questions and answering them thoughtfully, uniting the entire family in faith.

Several years ago, someone approached me proudly and said, “Rabbi, I broke a record this year — I finished the entire Haggadah in nine minutes!”

I replied that although halachically someone who swallows matzah has technically fulfilled the mitzvah (though ideally one should chew it properly), one who swallows maror has not fulfilled the mitzvah because its bitterness must be felt. In a similar spirit, we can say that “one who swallows the Haggadah” has certainly not fulfilled the purpose of the night. The essence of the Seder is to expand upon the story of the Exodus and to praise God for His miracles. Our Sages teach that when a person praises Hashem for a miracle, it brings about additional miracles, as it says: “You have given a banner to those who fear You” (Tehillim 60:6).

The Four Sons

“The Torah speaks of four sons: one wise, one wicked, one simple, and one who does not know how to ask.” To the wise son we respond with a detailed halachic explanation. To the wicked son, however, we answer more sharply: “Because of this Hashem acted for me when I left Egypt — for me and not for him.” Why the difference?

The commentators explain that the intention behind a question reveals the questioner’s attitude. The wicked son asks in the third person: “What is this service to you?” thereby excluding himself from the community. His question is not to learn, but to provoke. Had he asked during the difficult weeks of Pesach preparations, when everyone is busy cleaning and preparing, his question might have been understandable. But when he asks during the joyful Seder night, reclining like a free person and enjoying the festive meal, it demonstrates that he seeks confrontation rather than understanding.

A Parable About Intentions

To illustrate this idea, consider the following story.

A simple Jew received his salary a week before Pesach. On his way home, he passed a carpet shop advertising a massive clearance sale, where everything was half price. He saw a luxurious carpet reduced from 10,000 shekels to 5,000 and bought it with his entire salary. When he proudly brought it home, his wife was shocked; she had been waiting for the money to buy food, clothing, and Pesach necessities. She insisted he return it.

The shopkeeper had warned that no refunds were allowed, so the wife cleverly suggested pulling a few threads loose and claiming the carpet was defective. Meanwhile, another customer who was a regular buyer, returned a carpet claiming it had an oil stain. The shopkeeper argued with him for a long time, eventually agreeing to split the cleaning cost.

When the first man arrived with his damaged carpet, the shopkeeper immediately refunded him. Another customer asked why he argued with the loyal client but refunded the other man instantly.

The shopkeeper smiled and said, “I know my customers well. The regular client truly wanted the carpet and was willing to keep it. But the second man never really wanted it — he only wanted the bargain. Even if I gave him another carpet, he would find a new excuse to return it.”

The same is true with the wise and the wicked sons. The wise child asks in order to learn, and we therefore answer him fully. The wicked child asks only to challenge, not to understand, and therefore dialogue is impossible. Anyone who genuinely wants to learn should be answered gently and with patience. And to the one who does not know how to ask, we must open the conversation ourselves, with warmth, love, and encouragement.

A Prayer for Redemption

May these holy days illuminate us with faith, strength, and joy throughout the year. May we merit to see the complete redemption, rejoicing in the rebuilding of Jerusalem and in divine service, and soon partake once again of the Pesach offerings — speedily in our days, Amen.